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North Korea Gets New Best-Ever Ultimate Leader

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They know how to do politicsright in North Korea: No voting, no campaigns, no food for the citizens, etc. And Lil' Kim Jong Il just surprised everybody at his big fancy Royal Banquet by announcing that his dumb son Very Lil Kim Junior the 2nd will be the brand new most loved Dear Leader of the very lucky and triple happy North Koreans. Oh, to be in Pyongyang today! Change is in the air, North Korea! YES WE CAN.


This new guy sounds even better than wacky Kim Jong Il, if that is humanly possible, which it's not, because both of these guys are Living Gods of Equal Power/Glory, like some kind of ... uh, like a Holy Trinity, but in two parts instead of three ... or, actually, three parts! Because remember that Kim Jong Il was not so long ago the son of the original Dear Leader, Kim Il-Sung. This happened back in 1980, and pretty much everything has been awesome, worldwide, ever since.

Here is Kim Jong Un's inspiring tale -- read it aloud, to everyone!

Little is known about Kim Jong Un. He attended the International School of Berne in Switzerland, according to media including the Seoul-based Dong-A Ilbo newspaper. KCNA has never mentioned the son by name and China didn’t say whether he accompanied his father during the most recent visit.

Things are gonna change, we can feel it. [Bloomberg]

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