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Fox Business host Stuart Varney is very worried about the prospect of Elizabeth Warren making all of us a lot poorer. Especially the billionaires like Jeff Bezos, who might have to someday get by on a few tens of billions of dollars less. In yet another clueless attempt to make Warren's Eat The Rich tax sound like it would be terrible, the cable host predicted ruin for the very wealthiest among us, because if they're not rich, we will all starve.

Varney's stern lecture about the dangers of a Warren presidency follows a CNBC segment earlier this week about how big banks are terrified of Warren, who might reduce their profits from "fucking obscene" to merely "outrageous." Let's get warned about the scary socialist lady!

Oh no! She would surely wreck the economy by magic, because only in a supply-sider's fantasy does shifting wealth from the top to the middle make the middle poorer.


Varney fretted about the dire implications of Warren's wealth tax, which would tax fortunes over $50 million at 2 percent annually and fortunes over a billion dollars at 3 percent. Without actually mentioning he was cribbing from a Bloomberg article published Tuesday, he asserted that Warren's wealth tax would whittle billionaires' accumulated fortunes down by half -- without mentioning the article looked at how that would be the case if a wealth tax had been in place since 1982, which you may have noticed is not the case. Mind you, the economists who helped Warren write the plan argue that wouldn't exactly be a tragic outcome: Over 10 years, a wealth tax would mean a fortune of $100 million would still grow over a decade -- but by a few (19) million dollars less, is all:

HOW WILL THEY LIIIIIIVE

And poor Jeff Bezos -- maybe he'd have had a fortune of only $86.8 billion before his divorce, instead of the more comfortable $160 billion he had in 2018. (We wonder a little about that, since he only became a billionaire in 1999, not 1982...)

The big picture, says Varney, is that private accumulation of vast wealth is the only thing that makes for a strong economy, and therefore we must care for and nurture our billionaires lest we lose our own precarious grasp on financial security. Please save us, invisible hand!

Varney also attacked Warren's Accountable Capitalism Act, which would allow workers a say in choosing corporate boards and require companies to act in the interests of their workers, not just their shareholders, and make companies' political expenditures subject to the approval of directors and shareholders. Horrifying visions of socialism! Somehow Varney turned that proposal to save corporations from eating themselves into a vast confiscation of every last penny of profit, because "less" is secretly equal to "zero."

Sen. Warren would force all big companies to take a lot of their profit away from shareholders. And it would be given to -- the workforce, the community, customers, the local and global environment, and 'community and societal factors,' whatever that may be. America's great companies forced to dance to a socialist drumbeat

See? Any profit at all going to anyone but the shareholders = total confiscation, and no one will have money ever again. Which is how Elizabeth Warren will steal from you in your old age, because a lot of wealth in stocks is held by old people's retirement accounts, and when Warren crashes the economy, YOUR SAVINGS will go with it, because she hates you.

Mind you, if you wanna get all technical, 10 percent of Americans actually own 80 percent of the value of all stocks, so Warren's UNSPEAKABLE ASSAULT ON THE FREE MARKET would actually mean more money going to the rest of us. And we have a feeling the stock market would muddle along somehow! What a horrifying prospect that is, because like any good American, we hate the workforce, the community, the customers, and especially the environment.

Damn, next the wingnuts are going to warn us about how terrible it would be to wipe out student debt, get young people into college, and provide decent childcare for all families. But what about the filthy rich? WILL NO ONE THINK OF THE FILTHY RICH?

[Eric Kleefeld on Twitter / Bloomberg / Politifact / New York / Elizabeth Warren]

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Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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