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Cool story bro.


In news that will blow you off your chair, the NRA has endorsed Donald Trump for president, ending our speculation that MAYBE the organization really wouldn't be interested in a know-nothing, bomb-the-fuck-outta-alla-them, trigger-happy, shitfire dicknozzle like Trump for president. It all went down at the NRA-ILA (Institute for Legislative Action) leadership forum, held in Louisville, Kentucky, JUST NOW.

We'd transcribe this 20-second clip, but fuck it. You know what the NRA douchebag said. DONALD TRUMP! GUNS! MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN! FART! Something like that anyway.

 

Once the shocking endorsement had come to pass, Donald Trump yammered at the gathered gun-humpers for a bunch of minutes.

He said President Obama's takin' all yr guns, Obama's puttin' all the illegal immigrant rapists (who have guns!) out on the streets, liberals gonna burn yr Second Amendment Down, etc. Basically, he hit all the buzzwords and dogwhistles required to give NRA enthusiasts the only erections and orgasms they're able to achieve without medical intervention.

He also assured the congregated nutwhistles that, now that Obama has taken all yr guns, Hillary will once again take all yr guns, when she is elected president:

The Second Amendment is under threat like never before. Crooked Hillary Clinton is the most anti-gun, anti-Second Amendment candidate ever to run for office!

Uh huh, just like Obama was, and just like the next Democratic presidential nominee, and the one after that and the one after that and the ...

Trump referred to gun rights as the "most basic human right of all," more than water, we guess! He also said he's especially concerned about preserving gun rights for ladies, because "I love women more than I love men." But that ogre witch beast criminal Hillary Clinton? She does not love ladies enough to give them all the guns.

Anyway, an intrepid Tweeterer is just curious if Trump might just maybe be pandering to the fundamental, shart-eating stupidity of the NRA and his own supporters, since way back in the olden timey days, this is what Trump had to say/tweet about the tragedy in Newtown, otherwise known as NRA Christmas:

Huh.

As we finish this post, Trump has finished speaking, and now they are talking about fucking Benghazi, because why wouldn't they be?

[h/t Politico on Twitter]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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