NRA Warns Men: If You Let Your Wife Do Gun Control, Your Peen May Fall Off

In a very subtle message to America, the NRA's radio show Cam & Company took the opportunity to explain that any man whose wife supports gun control -- we guess it's "gun safety" now -- is just not quite a man anymore, if you know what rightwing funnyman Kurt Schlichter means (and we know you do, because he is not exactly subtle).

Schlichter explained to host Cam Edwards that Moms Demand Action founder Shannon Watts must be married to some kind of wuss, because god, what a castrating bitch, amiright fellas?

Kurt Schlichter: Oh my gosh, I got to tell you something. I got to tell you something. I finally figured out who Shannon Watts of Moms Demand Action reminds me of.

Edwards: Oh?

Schlichter: Annette Bening in American Beauty.

Edwards: Wow.

Schlichter: Yeah. Huh? Huh? Yeah.

Edwards: Boy, now I am going to have to go back and re-watch -- I don't think I've that movie since it came out.

Schlichter: Oh yeah.

Edwards: But yeah, okay, okay.

Schlichter: Yeah, yeah, and her husband has got to be named Lester.

Edwards: [Laughter] That's awful.

Schlichter: Stripped of the most basic and threshold abilities of a man; that is to defend his self, his family and his community, by being married to this shrill harridan. She is Annette Bening in American Beauty.

Edwards: Talking with Kurt Schlichter, writing at Townhall.

So, as we can see, American Beauty would have been a much better movie if Kevin Spacey had had a gun collection, we guess. Or maybe men who let their women flirt with political activism will end up fantasizing about Thora Birch's best friend. Honestly, the real point here is that if you don't have a gun, you're not a man, and only non-men would ever think of opposing instant access to all guns for everyone.

How about you? Do you need to upgrade to a larger caliber?

[Media Matters]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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