NRA Wonders Why You Paranoids Fear Gun Nuts And Their Weapons Stockpiles

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Doktor Zoom

September 24, 2014 04:36 PM

NRA Wonders Why You Paranoids Fear Gun Nuts And Their Weapons Stockpiles

The NRA just can't understand the paranoia of you people who have a problem with Responsible Gun Owners and their Perfectly Legal Firearms, which they keep with them at all times because they need to be ready to instantly kill a possible assailant. And so the NRA puttogether this very convincing video to explain that anyone who has a problem with armed citizens is a seriously disturbed human being who is afraid of both the Holy Second Amendment, and, even crazier, afraid of an inanimate object, for god's sake. There is nothing to fear about a gun, you pussies. Here, listen to completely level-headed NRA commentary person Billy Johnson:

There is absolutely NOTHING paranoid about the decision to concealed carry, Johnson explains, and then he lists several perfectly non-paranoid reasons why people might need a gun:&#13;<ul> <li>They know of "real threats" to their safety or security</li> <li>They're a victim of domestic violence who has left their abuser</li> <li>They've received "credible threats from someone who doesn't agree with their public statements or opinions"</li> <li>They hold a high position or role that's controversial</li> </ul> Funny, those last ones on the list sound like they apply to the self-perceptions of NRA spokesmen, who are constantly in danger of being assaulted by liberals.&#13;In less extreme cases, you might concealed carry because you've "perceived that your safety is your personal responsibility." For instance, perhaps you perceive this because the NRA and Fox News are telling you that dangerous bad guys are everywhere and just waiting for the chance to kill, rape, maim, and rape you (they like rape), and that the police are useless, so you should be ready to shoot a home invader, even if it turns out to be your <a href="http://wonkette.com/537553/responsible-gun-owners-have-a-banner-week">daughter in a dark basement.</a> Heck, maybe you perceive that because Wayne LaPierre gave <a href="http://wonkette.com/543438/wayne-lapierre-at-cpac-turns-in-brilliant-parody-of-worst-gun-fondler-stereotypes">that great speech </a>about how America's playgrounds are empty:&#13;<blockquote>We know in the world that surrounds us there areterrorists and there are home invaders, drug cartels, carjackers, knockout gamers, and rapers, and haters, and campus killers, airport killers, shopping mall killers and killers who scheme to destroy our country with massive storms of violence against our power grids or vicious waves of chemicals or disease that could collapse our society that sustains us all.</blockquote> That really might help shape someone's perspective, for sure! And it's reality, not paranoia, not one bit. It's all about personal responsibility in protecting yourself from the killers and haters. And then there's the Bestest Reason of All to carry a gun: The Second Amendment says you can, so there!&#13;Johnson closes with a call for gun-haters to take a good long look at themselves so they can try to figure out why they are so paranoid and messed up in the head:&#13;<blockquote>There are several valid and rational reasons that someone might choose to conceal carry. So to everyone out there who tries to portray this as paranoid thinking and evidence of an irrationally suspicious mind, consider this. What does it say about you that you are afraid of people who are legally exercising their right to bear arms? What does it say about you that your fear of an inanimate object, a gun, has led you to suspect everyone who chooses to own that object? And what does it say about you that you are afraid of the almost 10 million legal concealed carry gun owners in the U.S. who don't commit crimes every year? Who's the paranoid one now?</blockquote> By golly, we're convinced! We're pretty sure that the real paranoids here are the ones who think that requiring gun owners to pass a background check or certification class will inevitably lead to America becoming just like Nazi Germany. That's who we think is paranoid.&#13;Did we win?&#13;[<a href="http://mediamatters.org/blog/2014/09/24/nra-people-who-dont-like-guns-being-carried-in/200873" target="_blank">MediaMatters</a>]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

NRA Wonders Why You Paranoids Fear Gun Nuts And Their Weapons Stockpiles

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