Donate

Nugent To Attend State Of The Union; Living Will Envy The Dead

News

Let's say you're a guy who invited a President of the United States to "suck on my machine gun," predicted that if the same president were reelected, you would be "dead or in jail" within the year, and has fantasized about overthrowing the government. You probably would not expect to be invited to any of that president's big events, would you? Well, not by that president, at least. Happily, if you are regarded as kind of a hero for saying such things, maybe a member of Congress would invite you to attend the State of the Union Address with him? Nahh, nobody would be that stupid, would they? Or maybe they would, if that Congressional fan is Texas Rep. Steve Stockman (R-LoveGrenade), and who thinks Barack Obama needs a good impeachin' for suggesting that we should make sure that criminals and crazy people not be allowed to buy guns.


Then again, since Stockman is a pal of the militia movement and also appeared on a Holocaust denying radio show, maybe it only makes sense to say something like this:

“I am excited to have a patriot like Ted Nugent joining me in the House Chamber to hear from President Obama... “After the Address I’m sure Ted will have plenty to say.”

Stockman's press release also noted that his office will be "fact-checking" the SOTU address and erecting a billboard with an "Obama Failometer,"

a ten-foot-long billboard that will objectively measure the failure of Obama’s economic policies. The Obama Failometer tracks four monthly economic indicators from the Bureau of Labor Statistics; jobs created, civilian labor force participation rate and black and Hispanic unemployment. The figures are mathematically weighted to provide a measurement, on a scale from 1 to 1000, of just how badly Obama’s economic policies are failing. The inaugural Monthly Obama Failometer Score is an off-the-charts 1,179.

My god, on their completely made-up index, Obama is already off the charts! Get this man a job at Fox News, statistics division!

Also, too, Mr. Nugent was so happy about the invite that he had to tell the world:

Ha-ha, "uppity." We see what you did there! But really, "Motown"? Dude, emo Rainbow Dash fanfiction is more Motown than you.

We hope that some of what the Nuge has to say, with a smiling member of Congress sitting next to him, goes a bit like this:

Think Progress noted that the Secret Service had "no comment" on Nugent's attending the speech.

[SteveStockman / ThinkProgress]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

$
Donate with CC

Cripes the News has been awful lately! And so Yr Editrix suggested we find some good, positive news. Especially after we pitched writing a Wonket about this Mother Jones story on how global warming may be killing the whales, even though Donald Trump knows their prince. (Reply: "Nope. FOR SURE NOT THAT.") And so, as a reminder that a gooder world is possible and apropos of nothing at all that definitely didn't set your Editrix off on Twitter, where she has been stewing and bitching most shrillfully about the 2016 election and the 2020 election and any terrible similarities thereof and thereupon and therefore and thereto, we present a collection of videos of Elizabeth Warren yelling at big banks and calling for them to be broken up and their criminal operators to go to jail. Puppies and kittens will only get you so far, after all.

Keep reading... Show less
$
Donate with CC

Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

Some dick is suing your Wonkette! If you are able, will you please send money?

1. Pick "just once" or "monthly."

2. Pick an amount, like say "all of the money."

3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.

4. MONEY.

5. Carry on with your day, and with new posts below!

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

$
Donate with CC
Donate

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Newsletter

©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc