Nunes Conspiracy Stooge Kash Patel Is BACK To Work His Magic On Ukraine

Imagine having the finest intelligence service in the world at your fingertips and still turning to this fool for national security advice. We are talking about Donald Trump, a man who eats burnt steak with ketchup washed down with a sack of BigMacs and watches Fox News all day long, but still! How did Devin Nunes's little stooge Kashyap "Kash" Patel become the president's point man on Ukraine?

If that name sounds familiar, it's because a lifetime ago, in June of 2018, Patel authored the famous "Nunes Memo" which purported to PROVE that the entire Russia investigation was UNLEGAL because poor Carter Page, the dumbest little Russian asset in all the land, was FRAMED. At the time, Patel was Devin Nunes's House Intel Committee staffer, which meant he got to sit in on all the closed door (ahem) witness interviews. Also at the time cherrypicked transcripts of those interviews made their way to The Epoch Times and Fox News. Which is, of course, entirely coincidental.

In 2016, when Patel worked at the Justice Department, he was issued a rare Order on Ineptitude by a federal judge in Houston when he spectacularly botched the mundane task of ordering a transcript, and then showed up to defend his conduct in court wearing shorts. He's also the whiny-ass little flopper who treated a routine remark from Rod Rosenstein that he'd have the right to discovery if the Committee held him in contempt as a "not-so-veiled threat to unleash the full prosecutorial power of the state against us."

Suffice it to say, he ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. And yet, after his star turn on Dancing With The HPSCI Dipshits, Patel was rewarded with a plum spot on the National Security Council staff. The New York Times reports that "Colleagues there initially questioned the role of Mr. Patel, who took few notes in meetings and had little expertise for his initial portfolio, which covered the United Nations." How dare they question the authority of a recipient of the rare Order on Ineptitude!

It only went downhill from there, with Patel using his position to whisper batshit conspiracy theories in Trump's ear. And sure as the sun comes up in the east, all those roads lead straight to Ukraine.

Within months, senior White House officials began to suspect he had won Mr. Trump's ear and had effectively created a back channel to the president that could warp American policy, according to congressional testimony and interviews.

Colleagues grew alarmed after hearing that Mr. Trump had referred to Mr. Patel as one of his top Ukraine policy specialists and that the president wanted to discuss related documents with him, according to people briefed on the matter. Mr. Patel sought to discuss allegations of surveillance abuses by law enforcement officials with Mr. Trump, an administration official said.

House investigators are reportedly examining Patel's role as yet another back channel to Trump on Ukraine, separate but complementary to the shadow policy racket led by Rudy Giuliani. Times sources said that Fiona Hill, former Senior Director for European and Russian Affairs on the NSC, testified that she "grew alarmed earlier this year when an aide from the White House executive secretary's office told her that Mr. Trump wanted to talk to Mr. Patel and identified him as the National Security Council's 'Ukraine director,' a position held by one of Ms. Hill's deputies. The aide said Mr. Trump wanted to meet with Mr. Patel about documents he had received on Ukraine."

God only knows what "documents" Patel was feeding to Commander Credulous. Were they printouts of wingnut conspiracy blogs? Ukrainian forgeries? Could be anything! But if we were trying to figure out who keeps flogging this bullshit about Crowdstrike falsifying the report that Russians hacked the DNC, after which that server was secretly smuggled into Ukraine, we'd start with this dumbass. Particularly since he was part of the Republican cabal that "investigated" whether ousted ambassador to Ukraine Marie Yovanovitch was somehow involved in the Steele Dossier. Remember that phone call with President Zelenskiy in July where Trump said Yovanovitch was "going to go through some things"?

After Fiona Hill brought her suspicions to National Security Advisor John Bolton, Patel got ... A PROMOTION.

Some National Security Council aides questioned whether Mr. Patel's experience as Mr. Nunes's investigator was relevant to overseeing American policy toward the United Nations, a person familiar with his hiring said.

Under Mr. Bolton's watch, Mr. Patel was later given a more senior role in the counterterrorism directorate. That fit more directly with his background as a onetime federal counterterrorism prosecutor, but some officials said Mr. Patel was promoted to a senior director position unusually quickly.

UH HUH. Was Bolton trying to park Patel somewhere he couldn't do any harm? Or did someone push to get this fool promoted as a reward for his loyal service? And why do all the stupidest characters get brought back season after season? This sucks!


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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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