It starts with glitter...but escalates to streamers and balloons

Super tough guy, Trump surrogate, and occasional jail death ignorer David Clarke, the Sheriff of Milwaukee County, was terrified and very triggered by the Women's March in Washington Saturday, where he saw what's ahead for America: mere anarchy loosed upon the world!

Yep, that sure was some total collapse of the social order. Come see the violence and anarchy! The sheer madness!

But maybe this is one of those things where perspective is everything, and the adorable child with the self-made sign is not representative of the complete madness in the streets, not to mention all the rioting Saturday!

Egad! Taunting with malice aforethought! That's some riot! Say, how many arrests were there in all this rioting Saturday?

the Women's March on Washington didn't yield a single arrest, according to D.C. Homeland Security Director Christopher Geldart.

Duh, because as Sheriff Clarke makes quite clear, there wasn't a cop in sight to arrest the malefactors for the offense of saying bad things. Lucky thing he was out of his own jurisdiction, because on his home turf, Sheriff Clarke is free to be much more of a badass when it comes to particular individuals suspected of taunting and head-shaking. On January 15, Clarke was the victim of a brutal assault in the form of a man shaking his head at him as the two boarded an airplane in Dallas, bound for Milwaukee. The assailant, one Dan Black, admits to the offense in his complaint to the Milwaukee County Sheriff's Office:

As I passed him, I asked if he was Sheriff Clarke, and he responded in the affirmative. I shook my head as I was moving on to my seat near the back of the plane. From behind, he asked if I had a problem. I shook my head “no” again and continued to my seat. [...]

I intentionally did not say anything more to him because I did not want to make a scene or get in trouble as a Milwaukee man did in September when confronting Clarke on an airplane. I just moved on and took my seat.

Such riotous and clearly dangerous head-shaking was not to be tolerated, of course, so when the plane landed in Milwaukee, Black said, he was met by "six uniformed deputies and two bomb/drug dogs"; he says Clarke gestured to the deputies, who then questioned him for about 15 minutes and escorted him out of the airport like the obvious threat to public safety he was.

Ah, but there are two sides to every head-shake, so Clarke took to the Sheriff's Office Faceplace to warn all would-be rudeness perpetrators that next time, they may face whatever means Sheriff Clarke feels necessary to protect himself:

It is a well-known fact that most incidents of rude head-shaking are a prelude to an assault, and this Dan Black is damned lucky to have escaped with only a public shaming and not a beatdown.

Sheriff Clarke was not the only victim of a vicious taunting assault at the DC march. Clarke retweeted this irrefutable proof that the Women's march was led by ISIS, as posted by a member of "Bikers 4 Liberty" (a different group from "Bikers For Trump," keep in mind):

You might note the lack of any women in that video, several comments said this did not happen in DC Saturday, but what is truth, anyway? It certainly wasn't at the event on the Mall, but there's definitely a mask and a burning flag, so ISIS led the women's march riot, QED. Besides, there was other violence, too!

When will this madness end, America? Can the tattered remnants of the social order ever be brought back together? Only if we start busting heads, that's for damn sure. Thank god there's finally a strongman in the White House to protect us from these taunting, head-shaking glitter terrorists.

[Mediaite / David Clarke on Twitter / NBC Washington]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

Donate with CC
Robbin Young. Fair use so we can all see the boob picture she sent to her 12 true loves.

Robbin Young starred in the Roger Moore masterpiece For Your Eyes Only as the seventh female lead, "Girl in Flower Shop." She also starred in a bunch of Playboys, and the DM's of a humble Romanian hacker who stole her heart. But he was not a humble Romanian hacker, he was 12 Russian military intelligence officers in a trench coat. And now Young has shared those DMs and pictures of her buzzies with the Sun, because that's the one that's fookin' classy.

See how she loved! See how Guccifer ghosted her ass! See how she loves him (them) still! See how she was all up in Seth Rich and shit! (We think Young's judgment might not be awesome.) Also she wrote this "erotic poem," and we're going to need you to read it.

Keep reading... Show less
Donate with CC

And now it is time for your weekly reminder that in the Trump era, FUCKING APESHIT OUTRAGE WORKS.

On Monday, Donald Trump, the transactional president who for some godforsaken reason sees Vladimir Putin has his one true father, discussed making an Art Of The Deal with Russia that involved letting Robert Mueller interrogate the Russian spies who hacked America in 2016 (with Russian supervision, of course, in Russia) in exchange for sending Putin whichever American citizens hurt Putin's poor fragile butthurt pansy-ass feelings the past several years. One of Putin's targets is Michael McFaul, the former ambassador to Russia, whom Putin just hates. Hillary Clinton isn't on the official list yet, but give it a few weeks.

On Wednesday, Sarah Huckabee Sanders looked at reporters and told them Trump's people were considering the idea, but hadn't decided yet, because it's so hard for the Trump administration to decide how many treasons to do per week.

But hooray! The White House has decided that, after literally every American with a patriotic bone in his or her body said, "THE FUCK YOU SAY," they will not send Americans to Putin's gulag after all. The Washington Post reports:

The White House announced Trump's opposition Thursday as the Senate prepared to vote on a resolution telling the president not to honor Putin's request, which would have exposed former U.S. ambassador Michael McFaul, among others, to Russian questioning.

"It is a proposal that was made in sincerity by President Putin, but President Trump disagrees with it," White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said in a statement.

Oh my fucking Lord, Shuckabee, did you really type that Putin's offer was "sincere," or did Donald grab the statement after you finished with it and add those words in illiterate Sharpie in the margins, along with "DOES NOT MEAN PUTIN IS NOT MY BEST FRIEND" and "NO COLLUSION"?

By the way, that resolution passed the Senate with flying colors:

WOMP WOMP, Trump! Sorry American freedom and democracy stepped all over your dick again! Guarantee it's gonna happen again! Go fuck yourself! Enjoy the 48 Big Macs you have for dinner tonight! Don't talk directly into the soccer ball Putin gave you, 'less you want it to talk back to you in Russian!

OK post over.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT NOW, DO IT RIGHT NOW!

Help Wonkette LIVE FOREVER! Seriously, if you can, please help, by making a donation of MONEY.

[Washington Post]

Donate with CC




©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc