'Black Friends' Forgot To Vet Holy-F*ckballs Racist Video For NYPD Union Boss
Ed Mullins, president of the Sergeants Benevolent Association, is in mildly tepid water for acting like a common Donald Trump this weekend and sharing openly racist content on social media. The SBA is New York's second largest police union, because the NYPD needs a lot of help avoiding accountability for strangling black men in public. Mullins also hyped the video in a deranged email he sent to union members on Saturday.
"Pay close attention to every word. You will hear what goes through the mind of real policemen every single day on the job. This is the best video I've ever seen telling the public the absolute truth."
Mullins didn't give the video four stars or two thumbs-up or anything, but it's probably on his short list for 2019's Most Outstanding Achievement In Racist Videos. Radio host and conspiracy theorist Willie Shields reads a letter from an unnamed "street cop" who complains that police are "continuously cut down at the knees and stripped of their abilities to do their jobs in the name of 'criminal justice reform.'" He claims police in "urban environments" valiantly choose to play a game of "try not to die."
"When a suspect chooses to run from police, it's never for anything good. When a suspect flees a [police] car at night in the projects, it can only be for something incredibly bad."
This is not entirely true or at least the motivations for running are more complex than the anonymous officer assumes.
One of the most astonishing aspects of police work in an urban environment is that almost literally no one has a job. Section 8 scam artists and welfare queens have mastered the art of gaming the taxpayer. Bounce from baby mama to baby mama, impregnate as many women as possible. She gets the welfare benefits and you get the flop house benefits.
We're just five minutes into the 15-minute video and it's already earned an "R" rating for "racist."
The video shows police patrolling neighborhoods like an occupying army in what the officer calls "a war zone." It's actually where American citizens live. The officer whines about how police shootings will instantly attract "50 to 100 men, women, and children" armed with "Obama phones" ready to record the encounter and get rich like "100 black George Hollidays looking for a payout." Holliday filmed the LAPD treating Rodney King like a piñata. He is not rich. There's no sex tape money in recording police beatdowns, but the officer describes the Obama-phone crowd as "paparazzi" who want to ruin cops' lives.
"The song remains insane. Imagine an entire housing complex comprised solely of people who have been taught two things: that they are victims of racism and police are the enemy. It's a war zone for real."
He disparages an entire community and laments that the residents don't offer cops hugs and fresh lemonade. It's highly unlikely that anyone there has had a single positive interaction with police. They either get roughed up, arrested, shot or the whole combo package.
The officer gives a shout out to Colin Flaherty, the author of Don't Make the Black Kids Angry, who decries the "black victimization hoax." He also promotes white victimization by blaming Barack Obama for why people are suspicious of police.
"A presidential administration succeeded in forever vilifying its nation's police while simultaneously granting blacks crime as their new entitlement."
We're still waiting patiently for our Barack Obama Free Black Crime pass. Our big Las Vegas casino heist depends heavily on it. Mullins pulled down the video just two hours after posting it. Someone apparently emailed him asking, "Did you listen to this thing?" Yesterday, Mullins claimed he hadn't watched the whole video, which is pretty scandalous considering the glowing review he gave it. He apologized to anyone who might've "been offended" by the racist tract. He conceded there were "racist components" to the video -- just like there are sexual components to hardcore pornography. But he doesn't think it's that big of a deal, and he's certainly not racist. You know why? Sit down. This is an explanation we've totally never heard previously.
MULLINS: I have black friends, white friends, Asian friends—I wouldn't want to insult anyone. I don't think one incident defines who I am.
That's impressive. Mullins has black friends, white friends, and Asian friends. He just needs Hispanic friends to complete the set. But this video isn't just a single incident. Mullins publicly railed against New York City's $5.9 million settlement with Eric Garner's family. He called it "obscene." We don't know why he was upset. Was he worried that black "scam artists" would start flaunting their bare windpipes around police officers in hopes of a big "payout"? Eric Garner is dead. That's the only thing that's "obscene."
Mullins also agrees with much of the substance of the gross video: He does believe "killing cops is the new normal," which is a dangerous lie unless you're talking about trigger-happy sovereign citizens. He also wishes people would stop filming police interactions with the public as if we have common First Amendment rights. We're not sure how many black friends Mullins really has, but maybe one of them could clue him in that he's racist.
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Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He's on the board of the Portland Playhouse theater and writes for the immersive theater Cafe Nordo in Seattle. Tickets are on sale now for his latest Nordo collaboration, "Curiouser and Curiouser," an adaptation of "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass." It promises to feel like an actual evening with SER (for good or for ill).