Campuses feel safer already

Those Oath Keeper guys are really branching out! No longer content to wait for the chance to have an armed showdown with the feds over gold mines on public land, they've recently started boycotting Waffle House for not hugging guns enough, and now they want to make American college students stop being a bunch of pussies who let themselves get shot to death. We guess they must like Ben Carson a lot!

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In an exciting report from Roseburg, Oregon, site of the most recent horrific massacre that's merely an unfortunate side effect of Americans not having nearly enough guns to keep themselves safe, Oath Keepers founder Stuart Rhodes and co-author Jason Van Tatenhove (host of the "Liberty Brothers" internet podcast) announce an fun new initiative from one of America's fastest-growing paranoid paramilitary groups:

As part of its new S.T.O.P (Students Taking Over Protection) program, Oath Keepers military, police, and first-responder instructors will teach the students to fight back with empty hands, improvised weapons, knives, and firearms, and will teach them effective combat mindset and awareness techniques and strategies so the students can be their own “first-responders” and take out an active shooter.

They even have a cool logo!

It'll be like those self-defense classes for ladies, except everyone will train to be ready at all times to take out the bad guys who are lurking everywhere! The Head Oafs explain that their goal is simple: "the obvious answer to school shootings on college and high school campuses is that the students must stop submitting and cooperating in their own murders." And the Oafs intend to show them how, possibly by teaching students what to do when some ruffian comes at you with a banana.

You see, the problem is that the wimpy commie feminists who run America's schools have turned our kids into a bunch of wusses who don't know that violence is often the only answer:

Like millions of other young Americans, these college students have been conditioned since grade school to be passive, submissive and “non-violent” -- taught that violence is “never the answer” despite reality showing that sometimes violence is the ONLY answer. So it should be no surprise that the students at Umpqua Community College (with the notable exception of Army veteran Chris Mintz) were passive, submissive, and obeyed the commands of the shooter [...]

What they should have done was to instantly rush, tackle, and subdue the attacker. Even without training in hand-to hand-combat or gun disarmament they would have put an end to the shooting just by attacking the attacker. This is not a “hardware” problem. It is a “software” problem. It is a problem of mindset. Young Americans have been conditioned to not to fight back even when it is the only option that will save lives and end the violence.

And wouldn't you know it, the very first Oath Keepers "rush the shooter" training will take place right there in Roseburg, at Umpqua Community College, "where our local chapter leader, Rob Price, is an alumni and we also have Oath Keeper members that are now currently students." Hooray. Maybe if they hurry, they can get that class underway while families are still mourning, to keep the memory fresh!

Not mentioned anywhere in the piece? The trivial fact that there were armed concealed-carry permit holders on campus at the time of the UCC attack, including military veteran John Parker Jr., who explained that hell no, he wasn't about to go over and try to stop the shooter, since he didn't want the SWAT team to mistake him for the bad guy and take him out. Instead, he sheltered in place, like some kind of passive, submissive wimp, we guess.

Ah, but you see, the Oafs don't merely want students to be prepared to fight back against the occasional madman with a gun made possible by our nation's obsession with getting as many deadly weapons in the hands of as many people as possible. No, they want a more important shift in thinking:

Remember, this passive victim conditioning makes them submissive not just to private violence, abuse, and oppression, but also to government violence, abuse, and oppression. And we believe this is the big-picture goal of such social conditioning -- a nation of passive, submissive, and obedient serfs. Those of us who are police, military and first-responder veterans understand the need for the warrior mindset of decisive action, and we need to pass it on. It is our duty to teach our young people to defend themselves and each other. This effective answer does not rely on politicians, but will be done by the people themselves, and we will lead the way.

If kids aren't even willing to rush a single shooter, how are you going to convince them to start taking head shots at FBI and ATF agents when the shit hits the fan and Obama declares martial law?

[Oath Keepers / RightWingWatch]

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.

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Guys, it's been one more shit day in a shit week in the fifth shit month of another shit Trump year. Which is why I need to remind you that it's not ALL shit out there! Oh, sure, it's MOSTLY shit, but you know what isn't shit? YR WONKETTE, and the strange community of strange internet people who have made getting through all this shit a bit more tolerable, that's who and what. Which is why you should give us money, so we can keep whanging away at the walls of shit with our shovels and laughing at the shit getting all over, because one of these days we will get it all cleaned up or at least not be up to our waists in shit, and we can all laugh about what a crazy fight it was, as St. Molly Ivins always kept reminding us.

In case you're new here, let me just remind you that Wonkette literally got me, Yr Dok Zoom, out of what wasn't quite poverty, but was pretty much paycheck-to-paycheck desperation. I started reading the site shortly before Barack Obama was elected, began commenting sometime in his first term, and submitted a story tip to Rebecca a few months after she bought the site for 47 dollars and a sandwich (I now understand it was a bit more than that). It was Memorial Day 2012, and she wrote back she was busy with some "stupid thing I have to do for some muneez," but would I like to try writing a blog post myself? "I understand if you say FUCK NO. But maybe you are thinking FUCK YES?" And then she warned me she paid only in Ameros. I did, the post was forgettable but OK, and then I wrote a thing (borrowed from now long-lost comments) that went semi-viral, and suddenly I was that hottest thing in publishing, a freelancer!

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There is a very normal article circulating on the internet right now by a fella named Don Boys (that's not the joke, the jokes are coming), who is both an insane batshit preacher, and also an insane batshit former member of the Indiana House of Representatives. (Also sometimes he blogs at the Daily Caller about how Mike Pence really went balls deep into the gay agenda when he swore in that insane batshit gay guy Rick Grenell as America's ambassador to Germany.)

This article, of course, is about Pete Buttigieg, because what are anti-gay buffoons obsessed with right now? Pete Buttigieg. Boys (still his name) is primarily concerned not with the simple fact that Buttigieg is gay, but with how gay Buttigieg really is. IN THE SEX WAY!

Well, Don, since you asked!

Shall we dive into this thing without the proper prophylactics? We shall.

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