Obama Must Make Sweet Love To That Racist Rodeo Clown, Peggy Noonan Mumbles Into Her Morning Pick-Me-Up
Dame Peggington Noonington --cat blogger; astute observer of the painfully obvious; and longtime sufferer of a crappy hotel room, thanks to Obama -- has some more unsolicited advice for the president, which he should definitely follow if he wants to be like that great bipartisan messiah, Saint Ronald Jesus Reagan, in His name we pray. Here are today's words-she-wishes-she-could-put-in-Reagan's-mouth-like-the-good-old-days-but-she-can't-because-he's-gone-sad-face so she will put them on the Wall Street Journal instead:
Let me suggest a classy Obama move that might go over well.
From his Vineyard vacation spot he should have the press office issue a release saying his reaction to finding out a rodeo clown was rudely spoofing him, was, “So what?” Say he loves free speech, including inevitably derision directed at him, and he does not wish for the Missouri state fair to fire the guy, and hopes those politicians (unctuously, excessively, embarrassingly) damning the clown and the crowd would pipe down and relax. This would be graceful and nice, wouldn’t it? He would never do it. He gives every sign of being a person who really believes he shouldn’t be made fun of, and if he is it’s probably racially toned, because why else would you make fun of him?
Ah, yes. If that uppity blackity president had any class at all, dahhhhling, he would take time out of his vacation -- vacations are for white presidents anyway -- to explain to America that racist jokes are FUNNY, PEOPLE! and not even necessarily racist, and SO WHAT, PEOPLE? and America needs to stop being so sensitive and politically correct and offended when a clown at a Klan-esque rodeo gets all racist-y mocking the president with FUNNY jokes about the president getting stomped by a bull because that's what is so great about America and also free speech. Of course, President Broom-up-his-ass is so damned not-graceful and not-nice that he would NEVER do something like defend a racist, would he? Oh no. Because he hates America and free speech and racist jokes, and also, by the way Obamacare sucks. Wait, what?
This is the reason many people don’t like ObamaCare. It’s also part of why people wind up making fun of the president at state fairs.
Oh, well, in that case, as long as we're talking about how Obamacare is Teh Sucks, it makes perfect sense now. That travesty in Missouri wasn't "racially toned"; it was just a critique of health care policy. This, peasants, is why Jesus invented the First Amendment: so Americans could hold spirited policy debates at rodeos. With racist props and casual jokes about killing the president, hardy har har it's just a joke, RELAX, PEOPLE, her Ladyship has spoken, and so it shall be.