President Barack Obama took to the podium in the White House press room to explain that it is not a good idea to shut down the government just because the president has only cut $2 trillion in spending (so far). This seems fair enough,if you are a communist. But the press corps was all "Whycome Nobumer won't be nicer wif GOPs?" so Nobumer was all "I am a friendly guy! I like a good party! We can haz friends?" Poor lonely Bamz, wandering around the White House late at night, moaning "but what about our relaaaationship?" to which the correct answer is always "Relationship? Fuck that."

What else did Eleanor Rigby say at her presser?

“If you think about, say myself and Speaker Boehner – I like Speaker Boehner personally, and when we went out and played golf, we had a great time, but that didn’t get a deal done in 2011,” he said. “When I’m over here at the Congressional picnic and folks are coming up and taking pictures with their family, I promise you, Michelle and I are very nice [...] but it doesn’t prevent them from going onto the floor of the House and blasting me for being a ‘big-spending Socialist.’” Then he said a bunch of stuff about not running out on your dinner check, as that would be A Crime.

But Buzzfeed has some Thoughts on this, and those Thoughts are ... really stupid and shitty actually!

In their story Obama Looks To Saddle Republicans With Blame For Debt Limit Fight, reporter John Stanton says:

To hear Obama tell it, he's simply trying to pay the country's bills.

"Republicans in Congress have two choices here," the president said. "They can act responsibly and pay America's bills. Or they can act irresponsibly and send America into another economic crisis." He added, "To even entertain the idea of this happening, of America not paying its bills, is irresponsible. It's absurd." [...]

Obama, who has spent the better part of the last two years in hand-to-hand combat with Republicans, also demanded that Congress come to the table to try and find long-term solutions to the nation's spending and debt problems.

"We've got to stop lurching from crisis to crisis to crisis … I'm not going to have a monthly or every three months conversations about whether we are going to pay our bills," he said.

But even as he was calling for cooperation, Obama took a shot at Republicans. "We just had an entire campaign about [spending and the debt]. And by the way, the American people agreed with me … [but] in spite of that conversation and in spite the election results, the position taken by some Republicans is 'no, we have to do it our way, and if we don't we won't pay the nation's bills.'"

Obama, who — with a lot of help from Boehner — managed to successfully cast Republicans as the villains during fiscal cliff negotiations, is clearly hoping to keep the GOP on its heels, at one point accusing the party of wanting to abandon the elderly, the poor and the sick.

"They have suspicions about social security. They have suspicions about whether government should make sure kids in poverty have enough to eat, they have suspicions about medical research … They have a particular view of what government should be … that view was defeated during the presidential campaign," Obama said.

The GOP, meanwhile, blames society for making it what it is.


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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Ever since Ruth Bader Ginsburg successfully underwent surgery for lung cancer, conservative sites and message boards have been trafficking in a ridiculous theory that she is actually dead and that there is some kind of Weekend at Bernie's-esque conspiracy to pretend she is still alive.

Now, one would think that her recent public appearance at a concert held in her honor would have put this to rest. Alas, it did not. Rather, the "researchers" (as they hilariously call themselves) determined that the concert was actually her funeral.

No. Really. That was a thing.

I admit that I gave this a lot more thought than I should have. Like, how did they think this would go? How long did they imagine this would go on for? Why would they risk having a full on funeral concert, open to the press? Wouldn't they just have not bothered to have a funeral at all? And what did these people think was going to happen when it was announced that she died for real? Or did they think that we were going to pretend that she is immortal and thus never announce her death? It's so confusing!

Being very up to date on the "RBG is secretly dead!" nonsense, I was very curious about which way the "anons" would go with this when they announced her return to work on Friday. They did not disappoint!

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Yesterday afternoon, 45-year-old Gary Martin of Aurora, Illinois was let go from his job at the Henry Pratt Company, a factory that manufactures water valves. In response, he took out a pistol with a laser scope and began shooting at random. He killed five people and injured six others who were just trying to make it through the day at the water valve factory, and then the police killed him.

His mother said he was "stressed out." He "seemed fine" according to the clerk at the Circle K where he bought his cigars that morning. His neighbor thought he was a nice guy. Some people were surprised, others were not.

This kind of thing used to be shocking, but it's a story we're used to now. It gets repeated at least once a month. It's just what happens now, and we can't do anything about it because we can't do anything about gun control. This is, the Right has decided, just the price we all have to pay so they can stockpile guns for funsies, and take sexy pictures of guns shoved in their pants. This is the blood that waters their special tree of liberty.

It's fucking exhausting. And stupid. We shouldn't have to live this way. No one should have to live this way. But we do. Why? Because some day some yahoos might want to overthrow the government, which is (of course) a completely legal thing to do, and their "right" to do that must be protected. So it's literally just never, ever going to stop.

Gary Martin, like most other mass shooters, also had a history of violence against women. In 1994, in Mississippi, he was convicted for stabbing one. He should not have been able to get a gun after that. I would like to know how and why he was able to get that pistol with the laser scope that he killed five people with yesterday afternoon. Maybe someone gave it to him. Maybe he bought it somehow. Maybe someone forgot to do a background check. Maybe he bought it from someone who didn't have to do a background check.

I am so goddamned tired of writing this article. I am out of things to say.


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