Obama Set To Legalize Dog-On-Boy Rape, Says Clinically Sane Tom DeLay

Obama Set To Legalize Dog-On-Boy Rape, Says Clinically Sane Tom DeLay

"This is coming. And it's coming like a tidal wave." Tom Delay, the formerSpeaker Majority Leader of the House of Representatives -- really, the national one! -- knows a tidal wave of coming when he sees one, and the tidal wave of coming that is coming is this here "secret memo" from the Department of Justice that will legalize "the 12 perversions," including bestiality, pedophilia, raping little boys, and like nine others, depending on whether "pedophilia" and "little boy rape" are the same perversion or, somehow, different ones.

What is Tom Delay talking about? No one knows, except maybe this weirdo city council dude who said the same thing after Don't Ask Don't Tell.

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Delay's not at all ravingly insane warning reminds us of nothing, though, so much as Rep. Steve King's bizarre assertion that one time that it was not illegal to take a pre-teen across state lines, do sex on her, force her to get an abortion, and then drop her off at the nearest swing set. It seemed to us, at the time, that all those things were very much illegal, and that if they weren't, perhaps King, in his role as a person who makes laws, might perhaps introduce a bill outlawing those actually already very illegal things!

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Tom Delay, a formerly powerful person, is most recently known for appearing on Dancing With The Stars and being more terrible at it than Bristol Palin.

We guess "The 12 Perversions" is as good a way to get your name back out there, back in the mix, as anything Donald Trump's been shitting from his face-butt. Tanned, ready and rested, Tom Delay 2016!!!! Because fuck it, why not.


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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