Obama Tries To Steal Election With Free iPads For Everybody


So we don't know if you heard but it sounds like the midterm elections might not go so well, for the Democrats! Naturally this is of some concern to Barack Obama, who barely was able to pass any good laws despite controlling an overwhelming congressional majority, so who knows how he's going to deal with a Republican congress. Hecould try helping his party win by the traditional methods -- "campaigning," "being popular," etc. -- but remember, Barack Obama came to Washington to change the tone there, to really shake things up, so obviously he's going to blaze a new path. What will the Democrats' "October Surprise" be? Will Barack Obama extract a promise from Steve Jobs that every American voter will receive a free iPad? Maybe!

Or maybe not? NOBODY KNOWS what happened at the secretive meeting between Obama and Jobs!

Obama's first stop was a meeting with Apple Chief Executive Steve Jobs, a Silicon Valley icon whom the president sought and last met with while on the 2008 campaign trail. Though details are scant about their 45-minute private conversation at the Westin Hotel in San Francisco, White House officials said Obama and Jobs discussed technology, education, and job creation.

Hmmm, "job creation" probably means that the NIH cloning labs are ramping up their production facilities to churn out an army of Steve Jobses, so he/they can personally deliver iPads to everyone.

Then the president went to the private homes of Silicon Valley nerd royalty to raise more money. Google honcho Marissa Mayer had a fundraiser (with a weirdly specific $30,400-per-plate ticket price) where Obama wondered why new companies weren't rising up to destroy the companies that all the rich people in the room worked for, which probably made them nervous. But they had already paid their money, ha ha!

Oh, also, were there pictures of Obama and Hillary Clinton with Hitler mustaches?

Along the way, neighbors came out to try to catch a glimpse of the president. There also was a smattering of protesters, including one group that held up a large sign saying, "Goodbye Wall Street Traitors" with pictures of Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton in Hitler mustaches.

Yes, of course there were pictures of Obama and Hillary Clinton with Hitler mustaches. [San Jose Mercury News]


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