Oh Hey We Hired A Person Again
Ladies and gentlemen, wonkers and wonkarinas, we are very pleased to announce that we have hired your comrade ShyPixel to fix all the shit at this here computery site. He will fix it all, the plaguey performance issues, the 2000 pounds of shit I stuffed into a five-pound website, and all the other things we have been doin' wrong for the past two years and change. (Basically, we never even got an oil change, and then didn't understand why our tranny blew?) (We do not know how transmissions work.) Baby baby baby gonna feel so fast and good, you know, like a sex thing. (We do not know how sex works.)
So if you see him around (he's probably in the spot.im thingie in the lower left corner RIGHT NOW), start sending HIM all your complaints, with screenshots, and what browser you're on, about all the broken shit that is keeping you from enjoying to the fullest Your Wonket. Ain't mama's job anymore no how.
Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.