Oh No Serial Murderer Maxine Waters Has Serial Murdered Again!

Republicans are a deeply serious political party, committed to good governance and carrying out the people's business.

JK, LOL forever. They are a bunch of fucking goons who are about to spend two years shouting about Marxist groomers and fapping to stolen photos of Hunter Biden's monster peen. And there is no better example of this than the House Rules Committee, which this week took up the urgent priority of a nonbinding resolution condemning socialism, which is VERY DANGEROUS! Don't you kids start thinking it would be cool to, like, see a doctor when you're sick. Or retire before you're 85. Or make rich people pay enough taxes that we could ensure quality public and higher education for everyone.

You shut your filthy whore mouth!

The GOP is here to tell you that you are bad and you should feel bad. And also, please look at Pol Pot and not at Republicans' abortion bans or opposition to raising the minimum wage. But Democrats don't have to play along with this shit, as third-term Rep. Guy Reschenthaler discovered earlier this week when he tried to corner Rep. Maxine Waters, ranking member of the House Financial Services Committee, by shouting MAO ZEDUNG and VENEZUELA at her. Hat tip to HuffPo's Jennifer Bendery who flagged the spectacle on Twitter.

The hearing started off basically normal, with Rules Committee Chair Tom Cole, a gray-faced white dude from Oklahoma, somberly mumbling that "This concurrent resolution denounces socialism in all its forms and opposes the implementation of socialist policies in the United States."

He then tossed to Ranking Member Jim McGovern, who wondered, "What the hell are we doing here?"

And then, after a few grumbles from Financial Services Chair Patrick McHenry that the American far-Left's actions "more closely resemble the Chinese Communist Party's actions than the proven free-market solutions that make America the envy of the world," and some sniping by Ranking Member Maxine Waters about the debt ceiling and the rise of authoritarians, it was ON! That pipsqueak Guy Reschenthaler from Pennsylvania was all warmed up to make Maxine Waters admit that she's a dirty Marxist socialist. It was his big moment, gonna be so rad!

Woulda worked out great, except MAXINE WATERS DID NOT COME TO BE TRIFLED WITH BY AN AMATEUR LIKE YOU. Skip to 32:50 if you want to see a murder!

Rules Committee Hearing on H. Con. Res. 9www.youtube.com

RESCHENTHALER: In your opening remarks, you were talking about Putin, Kim Jong Un, and Xi. You know what they all have in common, right?

WATERS: Trump.

RESCHENTHALER: Trump? North Korea, China, and Russia?

WATERS: He loves Kim Jong Un.

RESCHENTHALER: That's quite the intellectual leap. I would say communism. Would you like to denounce any communist leaders?

WATERS [sweetly]: Well, I don't know what you're asking, but, let me just — The leader of the Republican Party, Donald Trump, has made often glowing — described authoritarians like Kim Jong Un, who is described in the resolution — regarding leaders like Kim Jong Un, Trump said Kim "wrote me beautiful letters, and they're great letters, and we fell in love." You sure you want to hear the rest of this?

RESCHENTHALER [uncomfortable]: Yeah, I can go through some atrocities, and you can say do you agree with them or not. You can choose to denounce them, if you'd like to go down that path, we can. What would you like to do?

WATERS: Well, I would like to condemn this resolution and ask that we all give attention to the very short time that we have to do the people's work. And pull it back, and not even go any further with it. Why don't you just withdraw it?

It was then Reschenthaler realized he might have gotten a teensy bit out over his skis. Perhaps it occurred to him that his own Dear Leader loved the North Korean dictator so much that he actually stole the oversized mash note from the White House and took it home to fondle in the privacy of his South Florida trash palace.

And yet, he persisted!

RESCHENTHALER: Alright, so Mao Zedong is responsible for between 15 million and 55 million people starving to death, with the Great Leap Forward and the Cultural Revolution. Do you denounce that, yes or no?

WATERS: But Trump loves him. That's your leader.

RESCHENTHALER: But do you denounce it?

WATERS: Trump's your leader. He speaks for you. He says he loves him, you gotta deal with that.

RESCHENTHALER: So you're refusing to denounce the starvation of 15 to 55 million people in Communist China? You're refusing to do that.

WATERS: Sir, I'm a capitalist, okay? I don't support anything but serving the people of this country.

Now a smarter person might have realized that Rep. Waters was conflating current Chinese President Xi Jinping, whom Trump bragged that he'd charmed with a beautiful piece of chocolate cake on the lanai at Mar-a-Lago, and former President Mao Zedong, who left office in 1976. But a smarter person would have quit while he was behind, instead of letting Maxine Waters ritually pants him in the hearing room.

RESCHENTHALER: Stalin! Tens of millions died in the Bolshevik revolution. Do you want to denounce that?

WATERS: I'm sorry, I don't deal with yes or no questions.

RESCHENTHALER: Okay, well, why don't you explain your support of Stalin.

WATERS: No, why don't you explain it?

RESCHENTHALER: No, I'm not ... you want to denounce that, or not?

WATERS: I told you, at the beginning of this resolution when we discussed what we ought to be doing.

RESCHENTHALER: So you're refusing to denounce Joseph Stalin?

WATERS: But when you tell me like we're in a kindergarten class "yes or no," I don't do that.

Reschenthaler tried weakly to regain control of the hearing, professing that he was giving the congresswoman "the opportunity" to denounce Pol Pot, only to have Waters remind him that "Your Republican leader Donald Trump is friends with, supports, Putin. Kim Jong Un, he loves him," and then wonder why not a single member of the Republican Party could manage to denounce Trump's incitement of the January 6 insurrection.

"Are you afraid of Trump? Do you agree with Trump? Ask him the questions, don't ask me," she hammered. "Don't ask me silly questions. I'm a capitalist. I'm not like Donald Trump. I'm not like Republicans who claim to support this democracy, but at the same time refuses to condemn those who attempted to destroy this democracy. You need to talk with your leader Donald Trump about what he's doing. Why he loves Putin so much. Why he loves Kim Jong Un so much. You ask him the questions!"

Reschenthaler took one last run at Waters, simpering his supposed gotcha about Venezuelans eating dogs. Did the congresswoman want to denounce that?

Spoiler Alert: SHE DID NOT.

WATERS: I want you to denounce Donald Trump. I want you denounce the Proud Boys. I want you to denounce QAnon. I want you to denounce the KKK. When you do all of that, then we can talk.

RESCHENTHALER: Okay, so, for the record, you've refused to denounce Mao Zedong, Joseph Stalin, Pol Pot, and Hugo Chavez. That's amazing.

WATERS: For the record, you've refused to denounce Donald Trump. You refuse to denounce the insurrection that tried to destroy our democracy. You refuse to denounce the Proud Boys, Oath Keepers, QAnon, the KKK. You refuse all of that.

At which point, Rescenthaler knew he was beat, dejectedly pivoting back to McHenry to "explain how free market capitalism has done more to raise people out of poverty than any other form." Before limping off to ice his balls, presumably.

And, yeah, it's the same dingus who slagged FDR for making common cause with Stalin.

Golly, was there anything going on in the mid-1940s that would have made that alliance better than the alternative? Anything at all?

Well, the next two years are going to suck mightily. But if we get to watch Rep. Waters dropkick dipshits like Reschenthaler, there will at least be a few bright spots.

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Liz Dye

Liz Dye lives in Baltimore with her wonderful husband and a houseful of teenagers. When she isn't being mad about a thing on the internet, she's hiding in plain sight in the carpool line. She's the one wearing yoga pants glaring at her phone.


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