Oh Whoops, Add 'Assaulted A Stewardess' To Charges Against Rand Paul's Drunky Underage Son (Updated!)


Hey ladies! When we reported on Rand Paul's drunky underage son's pre-11 a.m.bout of airplane awesomeness, we somehow missed that he was also charged with assaulting a stew! Whoops!

William Paul, 19, was arrested Jan. 5 at Charlotte-Douglas International Airport after his flight landed. The Bowling Green, Ky., resident, also was charged with consuming beer/wine underage, disorderly conduct and being intoxicated and disruptive.

Initial news reports last week did not cite the assault charge, but it is unclear why that charge was not reported at the time.

The misdemeanor assault on a female by aggressive physical force charge was confirmed by Charlotte-Mecklenburg police Saturday.

Charlotte-Mecklenburg police Lt. Shawn Crooks said that all of the charges against Paul were filed Jan. 5 but did not know why the assault charge had not been reported in the media.

This, of course, makes us a wee bit less likely to feel sorry for Rand Paul and his "kids will be kids, privacy please" shtick, just like Rep. Jim Moran's "they're nice kids, please give some privacy to my son who broke his girlfriend's eye socket" thing had sort of the opposite effect than we imagine he intended. But we never would have reported it if Moran were a Democrat.

Anyway, what does "assault on a female by aggressive physical force" mean? We figure it means he grabbed her tit, right? Or no, because that would be sexual assault? Maybe it means he got all John McCain up in it, got up in her face and screamed that she was a fuckin' cunt or something classy like that?

But we had Snipy check the Kansas codes, and "on a female" doesn't appear anywhere in them -- only in the news stories about them, so good job press corps!

As some kindly tipsters pointed out, the alleged assault took place in North Carolina, and had nothing whatever to do with Kansas. North Carolina does indeed have a law against "assaulting a female."

This involves "the unlawful touching of another person or the attempt to do so. An assault can also be committed by simply showing force that puts a reasonable person in fear of immediate physical harm- which means that you do not actually have to strike someone to be prosecuted for assault under the law."

So yeah, he probably got all up in her face and screamed that she was a fuckin' cunt.

What a nice young man.

Wonkette regrets the error.


Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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