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He looks like a gay turtle. Sounds like one too.


First, the good news: The city council of Oklahoma City passed an ordinance prohibiting anti-gay discrimination in housing. YAY! Funny how they managed that in Oklahoma after all that nasty business in Houston, where voters repealed an LGBT rights ordinance because they were scared a transgender might make a poop next to them.

But this one councilman, David Greenwell, who looks and sounds like a gay turtle, did not like it ONE BIT. You see, he has deep concerns that under the new ordinance, he might be forced to rent his garage apartment to a bunch of flaming, boning homosexuals, which would destroy his religious freedom, as he is a Traditional Values Christian type person:

If a couple, let's say, have a spare room over their garage that they'd like to rent out. And their religious beliefs says [sic] that I don't want to condone that kind of lifestyle, so I'd prefer not to rent out to people of the LBGT community, we're taking that person's right away, I believe, with this ordinance.  [...]

A couple who have been brought up in an environment to where they felt like that that [sic again] was not proper, uh, lifestyle. Just like I don't believe, and I wouldn't wanna condone my children, for example, to live together outside of wedding, uh outside of marriage. I may be considered old-fashioned in that regard, but I don't think it's right! You know, and so to force that couple to say, you can't get that extra income, you know, by renting that apartment over your garage out, unless you're willing to take anybody...

What is it with local politicians saying word salad like common Palins these days?

Councilman and vice mayor Pete White responded by making the un-Christian suggestion that if a gay homosexual living in an apartment next to your house is somehow threatening to you, then you might need to work on your traditional Christian marriage, but that's a dumb liberal thing to say! Because what if you're out in your backyard, mowing the lawn or whatever, and you accidentally look into the gay homosexuals' apartment above your garage, and find that they are 69ing like Gloria Estefan's backup dancers after a particularly rousing rendition of "Conga"? Do you know how long it takes to avert your eyes and run back in the house, especially with your newfound boner interfering with your body's natural aerodynamics?

Greenwell added that it would be OK if there was some sort of exemption where gays and BLTs could rent regular apartments but Good Christians could keep them from gaying up garage apartments, but nobody listened to him. The ordinance passed, and now all Good Christians are required to rent their garage apartments to every homosexual in Oklahoma, the end.

[h/t Raw Story]

Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the senior editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

Follow him on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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