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Oklahoma Gov. Now Favors Rick Perry's 'Tell God To Fix It' Crisis Policy

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Lately God has been shooting firestorms at the wingnuts in the American South like a furious undersexed teenager holding a paintball gun, something that has left wingnuts a little confused. Republican governors are the most mystified of all about this turn of events, because they are being asked to show something called "leadership in times of crisis," which they have always put in the "God's job" column of their state task lists. Republicans handle election campaigns and tax cuts and Kochsucking, that is what is on their list. But to make this clearer, Oklahoma governor Mary Fallin is the latest GOP governor to join Rick Perry in formally asking God "what the hell?"  Fallin has adeclared a public day of prayer on Sunday saying, "do a rain dance everybody." Oh hey, Rick Perry tried that, but God didn't listen. Will God be more impressed with Oklahoma's prayers?


Here is the statement from Gov. Fallin's website:

“For the safety of our firefighters and our communities and the well-being of our crops and livestock, this state needs the current drought to come to an end. The power of prayer is a wonderful thing, and I would ask every Oklahoman to look to a greater power this weekend and ask for rain.”

Secretary of Agriculture Jim Reese said he appreciated the governor’s call for prayer and would be saying his own this Sunday.

“Farmers across the state are really suffering under these conditions,” Reese said. “I’m glad the governor is issuing this call to prayer, and I hope it helps deliver the rain we need soon.”

By "greater power" she means, "not the governor, just someone who has some authority to help people out of this catastrophe, which is not her." [Governor Mary Fallin via Salon]

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Lace up your sneakers, Wonkers! Time to hit the streets. MoveOn, the ACLU, MomsRising and all your favorite dirty leftists are getting together for a yuuuuuuuuge march to show that WE ARE A NATION OF DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEINGS WHO DON'T KIDNAP BABIES. And your Wonkette will be there!

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Rudy Giuliani, flapping his loose yap to Politico on Monday:

President Donald Trump's attorney Rudy Giuliani said on Monday that he was actually just bluffing last week when he called for Justice Department leaders to suspend special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation within 24 hours.

"I didn't think it would," Giuliani told POLITICO with a laugh when asked about the Mueller inquiry's still being very much an active investigation. "But I still think it should be." [...]

That's what I'm supposed to do," Giuliani explained on Monday. "What am I supposed to say? That they should investigate him forever? Sorry, I'm not a sucker."

Cool, that is just Rudy Giuliani admitting he's full of shit and words and more shit and more words (and also a noun, a verb and 9/11). We are guessing therefore that Giuliani, who is a lawyer, would legally advise us to continue assuming we should take his every oral ejaculation with a gi-normous grain of FULL OF SHIT.

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