I think we found the Wonkette mascot.

You know how it is when you are on the road for three weeks and you still have a week left before you get home and there is NEWS HAPPENING right near you and you think "but I don't WANT to go cover the news!" And your mom says, "YOU SHOULDN'T DO ANYTHING YOU DON'T WANT TO DO" because she is retired now and through with ALL OF THIS SHIT. Now everybody do what mom says!

But you know that if there is ANY reason you bought your big dumb RV, it was to "cover stuff" like OKLAHOMA TEACHERS WALKING THE FUCK OUT, most particularly if you happen to have stopped 40 miles up the road to see your mama for what turned out to be Easter! So you kiss your mama goodbye, I love you, see you in June, and drive to the capitol, jump out of the Wonkebago, wildly snap a bunch of shots on your phone (which you can't see with the glare), and ask a couple of teacher ladies whether they came to say "thank you" to Gov. Mary Fallin (they didn't) and if they're going to strike beyond just today if Oklahoma's lege only comes up with half of what they want (OH YEAH).

"As long as it takes," Teacher One says. "We got a survey this morning asking if we wanted to stay out," says Teacher Two. And all your teacher friends said? "HELL YES."

Gov. Fallin, I'd be listening. Y'all may have put a nice downpayment on what you owe teachers (who haven't had a raise in 10 years) when the lege actually voted to raise taxes for education in the face of a teachers strike, but cutting the baby in half -- a raise that works out to the wage they should have had eight years ago -- is not gonna ... dad joke ... cut it. (I'm sorry.)

Nice cops directing traffic didn't have an estimate on crowd size, but Teacher Three says she heard they were expecting 35,000 teachers at the capital, and she wouldn't be surprised if they made it. Thirty-five thousand people is NINE TIMES COMMIE MOM'S TOWN.

Have some hot pixxx, we're out of here! Tonight's Wichita Wonkette meetup ain't gonna throw itself!

You know when you did the right thing and then you're so glad you did? Me too! Now send us money. Wonkette is ad-free and blah blah blah you know the drill.

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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