Old Crime Loser Hittin' The Road This Summer, Wonder What He's Runnin' From ...

ALLEGEDLY. We are just saying.

Nobody was asking, but Donald Trump is going on tour this summer, allegedly, supposedly.

The New York Post reports Trump is planning to get his old Hitler rallies going again "next month," but nobody knows where or how or why. Well, we know part of the "why," which is that he's delusional and thinks he's still president and also he is completely dead inside without the adulation of his cheering hog people. The Post says there will be a couple in June and one somewhere around the 4th of July, right while America is celebrating its independence from his presidency. He's still, of course, making all kinds of sounds about running for president in 2024.

But remember how Trump was about to leave Mar-a-Lago and go to Bedminster in New Jersey for the summer? The Post reports he's made that move. Remember how last week we were discussing how the city and county of Palm Beach, where Mar-a-Lago is, have been meeting and making plans for how to handle things if and when Trump is indicted in the state of New York, including the possibility that Florida GOP Gov. Ron DeSantis might try to make a weakling effort to protect Trump from extradition to the bad place where you don't automatically get away with crimes if you're a white male Republican?

Remember how we took a deep dive into the law and examined the difference between Florida's extradition treaty with New York and New Jersey's extradition treaty with New York? Quoth Wonkette:

But that's IF Trump's at Mar-a-Lago. You see, Mar-a-Lago shuts down when it gets real hot, and Trump summers at Bedminster in New Jersey. Know what New Jersey's extradition policy is with New York, what with its Democratic Governor Phil Murphy? That's right, it's a very large catapult where they just fling the flailing bodies of the accused over the Upper Bay, right past the Statue of Liberty so they can say "BYE, LIBERTY!"

Law students taking the bar soon, take note, because this might be on the test. (Do not listen to Wonkette, that is not the law, we are full of shit.)

You'll pardon us if we read the story of Trump going on tour as maybe a possibility that he might want to spend some time on the road this summer as far away from New York as possible. And we'll be even less surprised if Trump's tour dates all happen in red states with Republican governors Trump might think might perhaps feebly try to protect him if New York decides to say "BOO!"

Speaking of New York, oh hey, what's that, CNN reporter Sonia Moghe? 

NEW: The @NewYorkStateAG investigation into the Trump Organization is “no longer purely civil.” “We are now active… https://t.co/TD9G4vcNFo

— Sonia Moghe (@Sonia Moghe) 1621389038.0 

Ohhhhhhhh! HUH. Well that's interesting!

There's already the criminal probe in Manhattan, and there was the civil probe out of New York Attorney General Letitia James's office. And now that one ALSO has a criminal component, which is being conducted "along with" the Manhattan DA? And the Trump Organization has been informed of that, and now they are telling us?

Wonkette will give you a quick review later this morning of what James's investigation is about and what this might mean, but for now we'll just stick with our joke about how a good name for Trump's summer tour might have the word "outlaw" in it.

As we said, the tour dates aren't announced, but if they do end up looking like we said — if Trump doesn't play any real cities but somehow finds time to do a poorly attended acoustic set with a couple actual prized goats singing backup at the South Dakota state fair — then it might be that.

Good morning, former idiot president! How are you REALLY feeling today?

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