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One Million Moms, an organization comprising nowhere near one million moms, is mad again! This time, they are mad at Highlights magazine, the kid's magazine you pretend you don't flip through at your dentist's office. Was it something Goofus did? Did someone find a dildo in the hidden picture puzzle?


No, they are mad that the magazine, which has long included depictions of all kinds of families, will now also be including depictions of same-sex families, and the One Million Moms just don't know how they're going to explain that to their children!

You can practically hear the pearl clutching in their latest missive:

Where is the last place parents would suspect their kiddos to be exposed to same-sex "families" portrayed as normal? In the current controversy, Highlights magazine decided to include same-sex families in their magazines. Babies and preschoolers will soon be introduced to this sensitive topic in the Highlights line of magazines. Parents are seeing more examples of children being indoctrinated to same-sex families as normal, especially in the media. Children's publications are no longer off limits, even those that cater to toddlers and elementary age children.

Yes, that is right. They're mad because they don't want children to think same-sex families are "normal." Anthropomorphic potatoes with interchangeable noses? Sure! Babies born in cabbage patches? Fine! But not actual families that exist in the world, and that they no doubt will soon see in real life if they happen to leave the house? That would confuse them! They need to be told these people, their friends' parents possibly, are not normal. For reasons.

This all started because a lesbian mom rightfully said, "Hey, it would be cool if you could portray same-sex parents in your magazines, so that the kids who come from those families feel included!" At first Highlights was kinda gross about the situation, and declined, but then came to their senses and realized that, you know, it's actually kind of crappy to act like any family isn't "normal."

"When we do show families in the magazines, we make it a point to include diversity. We strive to be diverse in every way. The goal, however, is not to specifically call attention to diversity but instead to help kids understand that while differences exist, we are all actually more alike than different. For instance, from time to time we show families headed up by a grandparent or single parents. We show adoptive families, blended families, multi-generational families, and multi-racial families. In the future, we will depict same-sex families in our magazines in a manner consistent to the way all diverse families are depicted."

The One Million Moms insist that they, not some uppity children's magazine, ought to be the ones to break the news that gay people exist to their children when the time is right. Which isn't really true! Mostly they want to keep their kids from knowing that gay people exist for as long a time as possible, so that when their first hear about it, they will think it's "weird" and then it will be that much easier to indoctrinate them into their homophobic belief system. It's not like some two year old is going to have their world shattered by finding out that some people have two mommies or two daddies. Kids couldn't care less! Everything makes sense to them! Hell, at that age, I was convinced I was adopted and my real parents were horses.

They are particularly upset that this change will expand to "Hello," the magazine aimed at 0-2 year olds. You know, because a 0-2 year old is definitely going to grab that magazine and read it from cover to cover on their own, over a cup of coffee and some Raisin Bran before they get a chance to tear out the pages referencing Heather's two mommies.

Of course, they don't just oppose this because they are bigots, it's the principle of the thing!

Even if 1MM didn't disagree morally with the decision, it is not a magazines' job to introduce so called "social issues" to children. That is a parent's role.

Same-sex parents are not a "social issue," they are a fact of life. They exist. As do their children! It is not a magazine's job to pretend they don't exist, just because 37 moms are mad about them existing! It's not anyone's job to protect your right to raise your kids to be homophobes, and if that is what you most fervently desire, you must work towards that goal on your own.

For what it's worth, I'm sure that there are many parents, of many varieties, who would love to not have to explain to their children that there are adult bigots out there who are going to want to make them or other children feel badly because of the kind of family they come from. Unfortunately, they still have to do that. And that's a much harder conversation to have to have.

The group encourages parents to send the following email to Highlights, in protest of this decision:

As a parent and a member of OneMillionMoms.com, I am highly offended by Highlights' disrespect for the millions of parents whose children will be exposed to same-sex families in upcoming issues of your magazine. In attempting to be politically correct, you are offending a huge majority of your customers. I am questioning why your company would ignore millions of American families' concerns by supporting the homosexual agenda instead of remaining neutral in the cultural war.

This is a mature topic and is completely unnecessary to feature in a child's magazine. Please discontinue any plans to include same-sex families in your future publications.

Your company has left conservative families no choice but to no longer purchase your products or subscribe to your magazines unless you decide to make a change and remain neutral on controversial topics.

Return to your initial decision to not include this topic in your magazine. Please do not let others bully you into changing your mind. As you know, it is not a magazine's job to introduce so called "social issues" such as this to our children.

I look forward to hearing from you regarding my concerns.

If you would prefer to instead send them an email thanking them for including same-sex families in their magazine, you can send it to customerservice@highlights.com!

[One Million Moms]

Robyn Pennacchia

Robyn Pennacchia is a brilliant, fabulously talented and visually stunning angel of a human being, who shrugged off what she is pretty sure would have been a Tony Award-winning career in musical theater in order to write about stuff on the internet. Previously, she was a Senior Staff Writer at Death & Taxes, and Assistant Editor at The Frisky (RIP). Currently, she writes for Wonkette, Friendly Atheist, Quartz and other sites. Follow her on Twitter at @RobynElyse

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