One Million Moms, an organization comprising nowhere near one million moms, is mad again! This time, they are mad at Highlights magazine, the kid's magazine you pretend you don't flip through at your dentist's office. Was it something Goofus did? Did someone find a dildo in the hidden picture puzzle?
The only reason conservative Christians allow their wives to drive is that they sure as hell aren't going to take time off work to take the kid to the dentist, and they'll be goddamned if they're going to cut into their Saturday off to go to the fucking grocery story.
Is anyone else suddenly noticing the meme potential for Goofus and Gallant with Lil'Donnie and Obama:
Goofus skips intelligence briefings and pressures world leaders to stay in his feculent hotel. Gallant carefully analyzes all available intelligence to conclude that Bin Laden is probably hiding in Abbottabad and sends in Navy Seals to capture or kill him.
Gallant, being Gallant, had married a women of deep understanding and respect, and while they decided to stay together for the sake of the kids and the anxiety-ridden golden retriever, had a healthy open relationship allowing for the full blossoming of both Gallant's interest in other men, and his wife's interest in biker dudes with heart of gold. Also, a little poontang on the side.
Goofus sadly was forced to declare bankruptcy after several failed ponzi schemes, and went on to clean ditches for the county and white knuckle it through intermittent sobriety, as he was too much of an asshole for any 12-step group to tolerate. Plus he kept burning stuff down.
DON'T BE A GOOFUS, Do be a Gallant! Even better, hang out with Gallant's wife, who is now one awesome middle aged hippie.
If your two-year-old sees a family with two daddies in a magazine and immediately decides that they are boning and asks questions about said boning, the problem is your parenting and NOT the magazine.
Gallant's dad blames corporate lobbying for inducing congress to grant tax breaks to offshore manufacturing, and to hand out H1-B visas like candy on Halloween.
Well, the traditional little ladies who make up their organization must know that, according to their "morals," they aren't capable of worrying their little heads about running anything and need a man to show them how to do things.
The only reason conservative Christians allow their wives to drive is that they sure as hell aren't going to take time off work to take the kid to the dentist, and they'll be goddamned if they're going to cut into their Saturday off to go to the fucking grocery story.
Brunch?
"Hell, at that age, I was convinced I was adopted and my real parents were horses."
You know, Robyn, there's something we've been meaning to tell you...
https://uploads.disquscdn.c...
Is anyone else suddenly noticing the meme potential for Goofus and Gallant with Lil'Donnie and Obama:
Goofus skips intelligence briefings and pressures world leaders to stay in his feculent hotel. Gallant carefully analyzes all available intelligence to conclude that Bin Laden is probably hiding in Abbottabad and sends in Navy Seals to capture or kill him.
OR COMRADE
This "making up their minds" thing seems to be a bit beyond their capabilities.
Most kids just ask for a safe, supportive environment. They don't give a fig about what equipment is on which adult.
That many?
> love
Methinks 1MM is rather short on this.
Gallant, being Gallant, had married a women of deep understanding and respect, and while they decided to stay together for the sake of the kids and the anxiety-ridden golden retriever, had a healthy open relationship allowing for the full blossoming of both Gallant's interest in other men, and his wife's interest in biker dudes with heart of gold. Also, a little poontang on the side.
Goofus sadly was forced to declare bankruptcy after several failed ponzi schemes, and went on to clean ditches for the county and white knuckle it through intermittent sobriety, as he was too much of an asshole for any 12-step group to tolerate. Plus he kept burning stuff down.
DON'T BE A GOOFUS, Do be a Gallant! Even better, hang out with Gallant's wife, who is now one awesome middle aged hippie.
If your two-year-old sees a family with two daddies in a magazine and immediately decides that they are boning and asks questions about said boning, the problem is your parenting and NOT the magazine.
Goofus' dad blames immigrants for taking his job.
Gallant's dad blames corporate lobbying for inducing congress to grant tax breaks to offshore manufacturing, and to hand out H1-B visas like candy on Halloween.
Even though my kids are 27 and 30, I think I'll subscribe.
"Freedom of the Press, bitches!"-UN, 1948
The most delicious irony about naming their organization "One Million Moms" is not even half the board are women.
At one point, there was only one.
Well, the traditional little ladies who make up their organization must know that, according to their "morals," they aren't capable of worrying their little heads about running anything and need a man to show them how to do things.