One Million Moms Saw Gays On Mattresses And Oh Boy Are They Mad

One Million Moms Saw Gays On Mattresses And Oh Boy Are They Mad

Remember a few weeks ago when there was a super cute commercial for a non-hormonal birth control pill and it had Alexis from "Schitt's Creek" and we didn't know about it because we don't watch much TV when it actually airs, so we don't see many commercials, but anyway, we found out about it because the One Million Moms were having a shitfit?

Introduce yourself to a new product!

It is called the Avocado mattress, and we don't think they are literally made of avocados, but you never know what libs are gonna come up with next. "Oh hey let's all sleep on avocados now, and use arugula vaccines as our blankets," says a lib, looking up from their critical race theory comic book. "OK!" says their lib friend. "But only if you promise to dress up as a drag queen and read me a bedtime story about abortion." And they slept and slept and slept all night, until it was time to wake up and chase white conservatives around with helicopters and sneak up behind Jesus and do bunny ears to him.

Point is, Avocado made this super cute commercial about how all love is pure and wonderful and NATURAL, just like Avocado mattresses, which are NATURAL. It has all kinds of people in bed doing all kinds of things (not boning), and some of them are GAY and LESBIAN people, and the One Million Moms (that one asshole named Monica Cole from Tupelo, Mississippi) are PISSED.

Joe.My.God has the email from the million moms about the gay lesbian butt scissoring mattress commercial that makes the Prince of Peace personally angry:

Avocado Mattress should be ashamed of its commercial for attempting to normalize sin by featuring same sex couples in bed together.

We all know the Bible verses about "no gay cuddles" and "no affection" and "no lesbians watching shows on the same iPad." It's like the whole damn Bible.

The newest commercial for organic mattresses not only promotes same sex relationships by including a lesbian couple and a homosexual couple who are both very much together and cuddling, but also glamorizes it by being misleading.

SEE? Not only are these wicked gays together, they are GLAMOR CUDDLING, dishonestly!

The ad states, "Love is Pure … And Natural." There is nothing pure or natural about homosexuality.

What is she saying, that gayness is full of preservatives? That it is not organic and free range and cage-free? But the label clearly said!

The advertisement ends with these words: "With enough love, we can change the world. Avocado, natural as love."

Well that's just disgusting.

Promoting same sex relationships has nothing to do with marketing the product.

You know, unless you wanna sell to some gays who might like to use the mattresses for sleeping, glamor cuddling, or 24/7 fucking.

Yet Avocado wants to make it clear where the company stands on this controversial topic, instead of remaining neutral in the culture war.

Avocado: Pro-glamor cuddles. Pro-sleeping. Pro-fucks.

One Million Moms continues to stand up for biblical truth, which is very clear about this particular sexual perversion (Romans 1:26-27).

Go buzz off in hell, asshole weird lady.

Anyway, if you need a new mattress, this Avocado company sounds nice! And we only know about it because the One Million Moms are being a total fuckhead about it.



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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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