2013 did not start out auspiciously, pope-wise. Remember? We were saddled with the doctrinaire and creepily Star Wars Emperor-looking Benedict, and we thought the sun would never shine again in Popeville. But then, like a miracle from the heavens above, Benedict did a mic drop and
Now we have a guy in the pope-office who actually does his job and abides by the tenants of that annoying hippie Jew and expects others to do the same. No one that has been riding the clergy gravy train is going to like that. No rich asshole is going to want HIS Catholicism turned into something different - it works for him the way it is. Camel? Eye of the Needle? Indulgence!
<blockquote>New Pope has already essentially called for the complete dismantling of market-based capitalism</blockquote> Feudalism was the Church&#039;s golden age, after all. Tithing, resting on the Sabbath and obedience to your liege lord and master (who was deputized by God when He have him the land you work on sunrise to sunset the other six days of the week) was every Christian&#039;s duty!
I especially like his threat to withhold the funds to pay for the upgrades of St. Patrick&#039;s Cathedral (a building that rakes in tourist bucks by the kilo, BTW) unless New Pope stops quoting Matthew 19:24 in that unfair, mean out-of-context way.
Yeah, well. The last time a pope reinterpreted the word of God in order to raise funds to build a huge honking church it was Leo X, the church was St. Peter&#039;s, and the concept of selling indulgences to rich, guilty greedsters seemed like a perfectly decent, free-market idea. What&#039;s not to like?
You know, that&#039;s not a bad idea: they could use a new translation of the Bible, and reject some of the pomp and corruption of the Vatican and get back to the Jesusy basics. They&#039;d need a new name, though ... hey, I know, they could call themselves the Objectionists. Or the Refusors. No, not really catchy enough. How about the Conservatants?
The Pope is little too WWJD for some people.
Now we have a guy in the pope-office who actually does his job and abides by the tenants of that annoying hippie Jew and expects others to do the same. No one that has been riding the clergy gravy train is going to like that. No rich asshole is going to want HIS Catholicism turned into something different - it works for him the way it is. Camel? Eye of the Needle? Indulgence!
The irony is the evil Red Chinese Commies have turned out to be better capitalists than the Exceptional Americans.
<blockquote>New Pope has already essentially called for the complete dismantling of market-based capitalism</blockquote> Feudalism was the Church&#039;s golden age, after all. Tithing, resting on the Sabbath and obedience to your liege lord and master (who was deputized by God when He have him the land you work on sunrise to sunset the other six days of the week) was every Christian&#039;s duty!
New Pope anagram: <i> Pew? Nope.</i>
<i>Pop Ween</i>? <i>p0wn pee</i>?
There&#039;d have to be something <i>in</i> his head to expand in response to the increase in pressure, har har.
I especially like his threat to withhold the funds to pay for the upgrades of St. Patrick&#039;s Cathedral (a building that rakes in tourist bucks by the kilo, BTW) unless New Pope stops quoting Matthew 19:24 in that unfair, mean out-of-context way.
Yeah, well. The last time a pope reinterpreted the word of God in order to raise funds to build a huge honking church it was Leo X, the church was St. Peter&#039;s, and the concept of selling indulgences to rich, guilty greedsters seemed like a perfectly decent, free-market idea. What&#039;s not to like?
You know, that&#039;s not a bad idea: they could use a new translation of the Bible, and reject some of the pomp and corruption of the Vatican and get back to the Jesusy basics. They&#039;d need a new name, though ... hey, I know, they could call themselves the Objectionists. Or the Refusors. No, not really catchy enough. How about the Conservatants?
To be fair, it&#039;s very difficult to perform executive actions, such as appointing someone to be your successor, once you are dead.