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2022: Oh Yeah, We Canceled ERREBODY
Yes, this post contains your annual allotment of Elon Musk.
2022 was another brutal year of liberal woke mob cancel culture. No one can remake Blazing Saddles in today’s hypersensitive reality, even though that film is readily available and there’s no real market for Western parodies. Once-powerful male comics are denied the opportunity to work in their chosen profession, with a few exceptions such as wealthy, entitled transphobe Dave Chappelle , chronic public masturbator Louis CK, and rapist scumbag Bill Cosby, who’s considering touring again in 2023.
Wait, before he was convicted in 2018 of at least some of the rapes, Cosby’s lawyers argued he was too old, too frail, and too blind to even stand trial let alone serve time in prison. Now that he’s free, he’s suddenly fit for a comeback. What a miraculous recovery!
Actually, reviewing our notes here, it seems as if liberals really dropped the cancel culture ball in 2022. We couldn’t even cancel two-time killer Kyle Rittenhouse, who spent most of 2022 refusing to shut up. Republicans had to pick up the slack and how!
A decade after Mitt Romney declared that corporations were people, Republicans discovered that some of those people were liberal or at least not overtly fascist. It’s like when your kids start talking back to you. Republicans had nurtured corporations for decades, watching with joy as they grew and walked all over small businesses. The Supreme Court even gifted them with Citizens United.
However, seemingly ungrateful corporations vocally opposed MAGA’s active coup attempts, voter suppression efforts, and overtly anti-gay legislation. Early this year, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis signed into law House Bill 1557 , the "Parental Rights in Education" bill, which prohibits "classroom discussion about sexual orientation or gender identity” in kindergarten through third grade, but also forbids any discussion of either topic "in a manner that is not age appropriate or developmentally appropriate for students in accordance with state standards." The deliberately vague language is why critics dubbed the law "Don't Say Gay." Why risk it?
Disney expressed its contrary opinion on the law, using its First Amendment rights, and DeSantis clapped back with the censorious power of the state. He shamelessly retaliated against “woke” Disney, which he dismissed as a Burbank-based company. Disney employs roughly 500,000 workers in Florida and has an estimated $75.2 billion annual economic impact for Central Florida alone. Disney also contributes about $5.8 billion in state revenue, which we assume is significantly more than Florida resident Donald Trump.
DeSantis also unleashed the Stop WOKE Act, a blatant speech code that was intended to drive out the dreaded "wokeness" from higher education and even businesses that have diversity training. A federal judge cancelled most of the law because he'd read the Constitution.
Oh, and DeSantis threatened drag queens because they exist and he's a gross bully. He wasn't alone: Republicans nationwide sought to cancel both drag queens and trans people from public life. Even the post-Christmas lull couldn’t stop Florida’s Department of (Not Minding Its Own) Business and Professional Regulation (DBPR), which on Wednesday announced it was investigating a holiday-themed drag show. When Republicans talk about “parental rights,” they don’t mean that parents have the right to take their kids to a harmless form of entertainment
Meanwhile, across the country, more Republican-controlled legislatures banned "The1619 Project" because it dared discuss slavery and its ongoing impact on the Black community. Oklahoma outright forbade educators from teaching so-called “divisive content,” which is actually more “Orwellian” than using a transperson’s preferred pronouns like a non-jackass mammal.
Oklahoma Gov. Kevin Stitt, without irony, ordered an audit of the Tulsa School District for any potential critical race theory thought crimes. Tulsa was literally the location of the single greatest race massacre in our nation's history, which otherwise well-educated Americans didn’t learn existed until they saw HBO’s Watchmen .
A high school English teacher in Norman, Oklahoma, was placed on leave — she later resigned — because of how she peacefully protested the state’s law. Her evil doppelgänger Vicki Baggett , a high school teacher in (of course) Escambia, Florida, filed challenges demanding the banning of nearly 150 books from school libraries in the county.
Cancel culture warrior Elon Musk bought Twitter in a truly hostile takeover just a couple months ago, or 80 years in Musk time. He quickly found having not so pleasing a thing as wanting. He spent $44 billion of rich people bucks (a barely real currency) to unleash Nazis, rightwing trolls, and disinformation spreaders on the platform that regulars soon found too toxic to tolerate. They canceled their accounts, which is another example of liberal cancel culture because I used the word “cancel” twice in this sentence.
Major advertisers, such as General Mills, Audi, and Pfizer, weren’t thrilled with CEO Musk’s new management style, which involved making decisions as if he was pulling random Post-it Notes from a hat or someplace slightly below his waist.
Republicans, including Musk’s new Bestie DeSantis, cried cancel culture and said these woke corporations were denying Musk his constitutional right to buy a company, publicly torch its product and image, and experience no negative repercussions whatsoever.
You might think that companies refusing to support a spoiled billionaire’s bad business decisions is the free market in action, but today’s Republicans, such as brain genius Marjorie Taylor Greene, call it “corporate communism.” And don’t you dare suggest this actual sitting Congress member doesn’t know what words mean. You won’t cancel her!
That concludes this latest year in liberal cancel culture! Will the woke mob ever stop?
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