New Congresswoman Nuttier Than Squirrel Poop, Greene And Boebert To Amp Up Crazy Accordingly
The two grizzled veterans are going to have to up their crazy game to stay ahead of Wyoming's Harriet Hageman.
Now that she has beaten Liz Cheney in the Republican primary, we can pencil Harriet Hageman in as the next congresswoman from Wyoming, since whomever the Democrats nominated to oppose her in this reddest of red states will be crushed in November like the giant palmetto bug we found on our kitchen counter yesterday and immediately whacked with a rolled-up New Yorker. Splat!
In the meantime, we would like to pre-emptively nominate Hageman for the 118th Congress’s Michele “One L” Bachmann Craziest Eyes Memorial Award. Not just because she has, well, crazy eyes. But also because she pairs them with QAnon-themed talking points calling Joe Biden the worst human trafficker in American history:
“way to go, wyoming”
— Adam Parkhomenko (@Adam Parkhomenko) 1660831964
Really? Is Joe Biden the worst human trafficker in the history of a nation that had legalized chattel slavery for the first 100 years of its existence? A country where you could find a slave market in every city and town at the rate at which today you can find a Starbucks?
If Hageman is reading this, and why wouldn’t she be, we’re assigning her some homework, and that is for her to look up who exactly built that giant Capitol building she’s going to be working in come January. Hint: It wasn’t the Chinese, you’re thinking of the Intercontinental Railroad. Different exploitation of labor.
We bring this up because we’ve been thinking that what with Hageman’s ascension and Louie Gohmert retiring to his asparagus ranch in Texas come January, Lauren Boebert and Marjorie Taylor Greene seemingly have competition for loopiest member of the House of Representatives.
And this is before we even get to Sarah Palin possibly being in Congress next year. Lord, what a bounty You have provided.
Perhaps sensing she’s going to have to up her game, though, MGT went ahead and introduced a new bill that, while it won’t pass before 2025 at the earliest, could in our estimation take its place alongside the Fugitive Slave Act as one of the most morally abhorrent pieces of legislation that any representative has ever vomited up.
The bill is called the Protect Children’s Innocence Act. You can read it here , or you can trust us that it makes providing gender affirming care to minors a class C felony, putting it on a par, legally speaking, with murder.
Here, let’s let old Marge explain it in her own we guess you would call those words to Tucker Carlson. TRIGGER WARNING: This clip contains two chucklefuck Nazis who in a saner world would be broadcasting only to an audience of about 10 Aryan Nation lunatics on a shortwave radio from a cabin deep in the Yukon:
“Thank you to @RepTonyGonzales for cosponsoring the Protect Children’s Innocence Act! https: //t.co/1jAwb1BnJJ”
— Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene🇺🇸 (@Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene🇺🇸) 1660930236
These people think about transitioning people more than transitioning people do.
Anyway, Lauren Boebert doesn't seem to have signed on as a co-sponsor of this monstrosity as of this writing. We'll assume she's either busy helping her drunk husband threaten the neighbors or somewhere dreaming up an even crueler bill that will put her back in the lead in this contest that has no winners.
[ Newsweek ]
Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons .