I never thought this would happen to me. I was burrowing in the ground looking for tasty bugs, as one does, when I found a strange object buried just below the surface. At first, I was unsure as to what it was . Then it suddenly started buzzing and I thought it might be a beetle, my favorite food. But it tasted bad. Knocking it aside, I noticed that it spun around and touched my no-no zone. and all at once a sensation I had never experienced came over me.
As luck would have it, just then an armadilla came sashaying by.
Now I am a pink fairy armadillo but don't get the wrong idea. (I took a lot of kidding in high school over my species but that's the subject for another letter.) She soon joined in the game and we were reaching levels of ecstasy we never imagined, even when devouring grubs.
All of a sudden the Head Armadillo, Chairperson of A Million Armadillos for Decency, caught us in the act. "Stop those filthy acts I have caught you in!" he or she screamed, chasing us onto Mulholland Drive (we live in the Hollywood Hills (or at least one of them)) where we were squashed by oncoming traffic and killed instantly. What a downer!
On a hike yesterday I was thinking about those wildlife cameras that suggest a far richer nightlife in the forest than one could ever imagine, then i suddenly flashed on an evening we had a decade ago in the bayou at Lake Fausse Pointe State Park in Louisiana. It was December, so we were the only people there except for two rangers, who invited us to a campfire apératif at dusk. We sat and around and had a lovely time with them as darkness fell. At one point I looked up and we were surrounded by deer - with a few odd armadillos having come along too to check out the fire. I mean, are they all friends? What in BAAL'S name goes on in the night in the bayou?
On Cumberland Island National Seashore, off the coast of Georgia, there are literally thousands of armadillos. They are not native to Georgia, having migrated eastward from the west after the Mississippi River was bridged. How they got out to the island is unknown.
I wish armadillos could read, I'd share your Substack with them. But Dillon, Dylan and Armando (our three yard armadillos) can't read or speak english. They can't even talk that I'm aware of.
When I was young and dumb (vs old and dumb) I tried to catch a young armadillo by pinning it to the ground and I swear it nearly broke my arm when it kicked straight up.
From what I understand they can be nasty little bastards when cornered. I'm glad you weren't hurt or worse yet contracted anything nasty from that encounter.
Hey, Martini! They just re-found the long-nose echidna in Indonesia! It's been missing since 1961, but now they have footage of it waddling down a mountainside. Cool, huh? Don't know if they've released the video (I've only seen a pic) but that sounds like the kind of thing you would love to mess around with.
Apropos of nothing, but the title: Zappa LIVE instrumental from 1976, "Echidna's Arf (of You)" -- man, that band could COUNT. No wonder he ditched the old Mothers. ( t does cut off abruptly, which is a travesty since it's all part of one continuous set.)
That was the '73/'74 band and that particular recording is from December 1973. I was fortunate enough to see them in May and November of 1973 and on Mother's Day in 1974 at the Auditorium Theater in Chicago. Some of that Mother's Day show ended up on the "Roxy and Elsewhere" album. They were extraordinary musicians who were extremely well rehearsed.
I saw them in the fall of '72, I believe, at the Spectrum, I believe, in Philadelphia on a double bill with the Mahavishnu Orchestra. And then went back to the dorm, ran into a young woman I knew, and ended up having my very first ... well, you get the idea! It was quite a memorable night.
They get hit by cars because their defense mechanism is to jump straight up. Most cars would go right over them, but when a car gets close they execute their maneuver and BANG! dead armadillo in the road.
paul told me the stories about the armadillos in Texas. He encountered a few of them on guard duty at Ft Hood; he doesn't think that they're as cute as I do. He told me how soldiers are told not to ever mess with the tubercular little armored weasels.
What a pity that their armor can't protect them from the cars. They really aren't too terribly bright about going out on the highways, the poor things.
New York Mag says Roodles is doing a vodcast these days. I was unfamiliar with the term and Rudy being Rudy, I assumed it meant “drunk podcast.” Then I realized Rude doesn’t drink vodka, he’s a gin guy.
Is there an app that can convert podcasts to written transcripts? I know I can do it on Zoom and YouTube, but I want to read that Volts interview, but I don't have an hour to spend listening to it. I can read it in a much shorter span of time.
Kids and SUVs. The SUVs aren't the problem, the lack of road safe safety lessons is the problem. Pedestrians are supposed to be either on a sidewalk, or on the edge of the road, on the against traffic side, so even if the car doesn't see you, you see the car. Bicycles, unless in a dedicated bike lane, should go with traffic, and be considered a car by drivers, who should be asked to completely change lanes to pass, although in small towns and cities, you can usually ride on the sidewalk without police hassle. Night walkers and riders need lots of lighted or light reflecting gear. If your kid is too young or dumb, keep them in the backyard or supervise them properly.
I'm going to redo and expand my downstairs bath, because it's 1960s and has water damage. If your going to do a walk-in shower, you might as well make it a wet room or disabled friendly.
I found the shower article interesting - but it's all about the style, and what I want is how those damn bathrooms are laid out. I have a fascination with how people move through and use space in houses (and other buildings too, but mostly homes). Most of those look like real bathrooms, not set pieces, so the layout (the floor plan, if you will) would be accomodating actual space in actual homes.
In case you are wondering why the House took off early instead of preventing a government shutdown, it seems the Speaker had more important things to work on.
---
Did Mike Johnson show up in Paris? We know at least he was watching. Far-right French politician Eric Zemmour kicked off the meeting - he welcomes everyone, then gestures & calls out "monsieur le président de la chambre des représentants" (Mr. House Speaker). (Video next). 10/
The problem for women is that too many of them foolishly want to marry men. Given that we don't start maturing for at least 50 years, we aren't the best choice for anyone.
Check this site out if you want an example of an absolutely gorgeous walk-in accessible shower. It is not cheap. I checked out adding bi-fold glass shower doors like these to my own accessible shower design, and they were going to cost an additional $5000, and so of course I didn't go that route.
I have watched hundreds of home tour videos where the house has a walk-in shower, and 99.9% of them do not have grab bars installed. This is a big mistake. You don't have to be permanently disabled to need grab bars in the bath or shower, all you need is the occasional broken bone or sprained ankle, which a friend of mind discovered when she broke her ankle, and suddenly she thought grab bars might have been a good idea.
It's clearly a custom job by an expert. I emailed the designers and they said the shower alone cost over $20,000. What the whole bathroom remodel cost, I didn't ask and they didn't tell me.
The bedroom was L shaped with one wall of the bathroom creating the short leg of the L. That's one wall I knocked down and deleted the L. It added 5 ft to the bathroom. The other one was a diagonal wall which hid the hot water heater. I replaced the heater with a tankless on the exterior of the house and got rid of that wall, too.
Figuring out the best layout for a particular footprint is such a chalenge, as I slowly update bits of my house there's always the task of figuring what order to do things in- for instance the first floor ceilings have to cone down to get the radiant floor installed upstairs, but I can't afford to rehab the kitchen and the entire heating system in the same year, so it's a complicated choreography. I have managed to do some small things myself, however, and it keeps the progress moving forward.
I know when I visit my family and I can smell the ocean it transports me back in time, I hope you haven't gone too far from the ocean, even if your view is now in the past.
I shouldn't whine. I'm five minutes from the beach by car now.
The bathroom was the trickiest of the improvements we made to that house. It has four windows including a really large one on one end and three narrow ones on a side. It's really hard to factor windows into a bathroom reno. I used a lot of graph paper figuring it out. In comparison, the kitchen was easy, though it also included knocking down some walls.
I think I've developed a knack for this. If you ever want someone to look over pictures and brainstorm ideas, I'd be happy to take a gander.
Nov 13, 2023·edited Nov 13, 2023Liked by Rebecca Schoenkopf
That Rudy article is great, and contains this gem:
"...all Trump has done is host a single fundraiser for Giuliani at his New Jersey country club, a fact that infuriates Giuliani’s longtime allies, some of whom are also close to Trump.
“There are street signs named after Donald Trump,” one said. “They’re called One Way.’”
Hairy screaming armadillo, it’s Sherman! Source deets and fun facts here: https://open.substack.com/pub/martiniambassador/p/sherman-and-his-kong
Have you ever seen an armadillo a-dilloing in their armor?
Dear Armadillohouse,
I never thought this would happen to me. I was burrowing in the ground looking for tasty bugs, as one does, when I found a strange object buried just below the surface. At first, I was unsure as to what it was . Then it suddenly started buzzing and I thought it might be a beetle, my favorite food. But it tasted bad. Knocking it aside, I noticed that it spun around and touched my no-no zone. and all at once a sensation I had never experienced came over me.
As luck would have it, just then an armadilla came sashaying by.
Now I am a pink fairy armadillo but don't get the wrong idea. (I took a lot of kidding in high school over my species but that's the subject for another letter.) She soon joined in the game and we were reaching levels of ecstasy we never imagined, even when devouring grubs.
All of a sudden the Head Armadillo, Chairperson of A Million Armadillos for Decency, caught us in the act. "Stop those filthy acts I have caught you in!" he or she screamed, chasing us onto Mulholland Drive (we live in the Hollywood Hills (or at least one of them)) where we were squashed by oncoming traffic and killed instantly. What a downer!
A. Armadillo (posthumously)
This deserves at least 99 more likes.
On a hike yesterday I was thinking about those wildlife cameras that suggest a far richer nightlife in the forest than one could ever imagine, then i suddenly flashed on an evening we had a decade ago in the bayou at Lake Fausse Pointe State Park in Louisiana. It was December, so we were the only people there except for two rangers, who invited us to a campfire apératif at dusk. We sat and around and had a lovely time with them as darkness fell. At one point I looked up and we were surrounded by deer - with a few odd armadillos having come along too to check out the fire. I mean, are they all friends? What in BAAL'S name goes on in the night in the bayou?
Blood sacrifice, because that's what BAAL likes.
On Cumberland Island National Seashore, off the coast of Georgia, there are literally thousands of armadillos. They are not native to Georgia, having migrated eastward from the west after the Mississippi River was bridged. How they got out to the island is unknown.
Armadillos are just tactical possums that carry leprosy.
Mommy mommy what's mating season?
Shut up and help me get the armadillo off the plastic toy.
OK I'll stop now
Armadillos are cool but it's kind of sad that we don't get to enjoy the VW beetle size giant ones of the past.
Just give them some North Jersey tapwater, they perk right up.
we have some spots in the desert out here in Nevada that might help with that as well.
I live fairly close to the Zoo( by car and not so far by Metro)- I need to visit - it has been a long time
I wish armadillos could read, I'd share your Substack with them. But Dillon, Dylan and Armando (our three yard armadillos) can't read or speak english. They can't even talk that I'm aware of.
An armadillo teaches you how to roll into a ball
https://youtube.com/shorts/8TKZ6L6o8TM?si=-rBA9cdWQHVi_WuC
When I was young and dumb (vs old and dumb) I tried to catch a young armadillo by pinning it to the ground and I swear it nearly broke my arm when it kicked straight up.
Don't they have an "interesting" odor?
Eau d'leprosy?
Not sure as I didn't get close enough.
In Texas I learned that a grown armadillo could just slightly outrun a drunken me around a campfire.
I once chased a dillo around a field, and grabbed it by the tail as it tried to dive down a burrow. It squealed like a little pig!
(Yes, I probably shouldn’t have done that, sorry armadillo!)
(cue "Yakkity Sax"......)
The imagery....
It’s beautiful
Wow!
It’s a defensive tactic that has drawbacks when a truck would normally pass safely overhead.
Yup.
From what I understand they can be nasty little bastards when cornered. I'm glad you weren't hurt or worse yet contracted anything nasty from that encounter.
They can also transmit leprosy.
That is a grim affirmative.
I got bit by a duck.
There's gott to be a terrific joke in that, but I'm too tired this morning.
Hey, Martini! They just re-found the long-nose echidna in Indonesia! It's been missing since 1961, but now they have footage of it waddling down a mountainside. Cool, huh? Don't know if they've released the video (I've only seen a pic) but that sounds like the kind of thing you would love to mess around with.
Apropos of nothing, but the title: Zappa LIVE instrumental from 1976, "Echidna's Arf (of You)" -- man, that band could COUNT. No wonder he ditched the old Mothers. ( t does cut off abruptly, which is a travesty since it's all part of one continuous set.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bb5AKjDlDxo
That was the '73/'74 band and that particular recording is from December 1973. I was fortunate enough to see them in May and November of 1973 and on Mother's Day in 1974 at the Auditorium Theater in Chicago. Some of that Mother's Day show ended up on the "Roxy and Elsewhere" album. They were extraordinary musicians who were extremely well rehearsed.
I saw them in the fall of '72, I believe, at the Spectrum, I believe, in Philadelphia on a double bill with the Mahavishnu Orchestra. And then went back to the dorm, ran into a young woman I knew, and ended up having my very first ... well, you get the idea! It was quite a memorable night.
OK but who stole it?
OK sorry
Oh wow! So cool!
A delicious Mexican dish! Oh, echidna. Never mind.
I LOVE this gif because I have always been fascinated by armadillos. They are just cool and too freakin' cute.
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/4/49/Commander_Cody_Live_1974.jpg/220px-Commander_Cody_Live_1974.jpg
The late, lamented Armadillo World Headquarters has entered the chat.
https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5c5ee8efa56827c45fc19722/1610127994367-448VA2V14M0B16NKBVK5/001.1970.08.07.Shivas+Headband.AWHQ+Grand+Opening.Franklin.jpg
It was happening when I was there in the early 70. Go see Willie for a couple of bucks.
I moved here in 1980 and just caught its last few months before Eddie had to close.
Shame on me! I had forgotten this!
Now I want to track down a decent print of this album cover and hang it on my wall.
My favorite armadillo album art, because proggy.
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/298715387781219775/
That one does catch your eye.
I'll have to give this a listen. I'm not a big prog rock listener but I'll listen to anything at least once and give it a fair shot.
They get hit by cars because their defense mechanism is to jump straight up. Most cars would go right over them, but when a car gets close they execute their maneuver and BANG! dead armadillo in the road.
PS they can transmit leprosy so don't touch!
paul told me the stories about the armadillos in Texas. He encountered a few of them on guard duty at Ft Hood; he doesn't think that they're as cute as I do. He told me how soldiers are told not to ever mess with the tubercular little armored weasels.
What a pity that their armor can't protect them from the cars. They really aren't too terribly bright about going out on the highways, the poor things.
so like armored possums. Our most common road kill since none too bright.
Seeing (and hearing) one in the wild was the second best thing about Texas in the 1970s.
< shudders at the eerie howling call of the armadillo >
Teeheehee. They rustle when they run; it's very cute.
paul told me about a couple of encounters with dillos when he was stationed at Ft Hood when he was on guard duty.
It would've taken all of my self discipline to avoid attempting to play with one of the little armored weasels.
They are just absolutely adorable and so much fun to watch.
NEEDZ BABBY DILLER
they do have medical treatments for it now. Not a very freely transmittable disease ... Hanson's disease I think it is called
Governor Abbott.
What a lovely and joyful creature; the variety of life on this planet is breathtaking.
Was
New York Mag says Roodles is doing a vodcast these days. I was unfamiliar with the term and Rudy being Rudy, I assumed it meant “drunk podcast.” Then I realized Rude doesn’t drink vodka, he’s a gin guy.
Is there an app that can convert podcasts to written transcripts? I know I can do it on Zoom and YouTube, but I want to read that Volts interview, but I don't have an hour to spend listening to it. I can read it in a much shorter span of time.
Used the Amazon portal last evening for an ebook I can't get through my local library. Will do so again, just need to develop the habit.
One minor note here:
The proper title is "Squeaker of the House", for CINO Maga Mike.
Kids and SUVs. The SUVs aren't the problem, the lack of road safe safety lessons is the problem. Pedestrians are supposed to be either on a sidewalk, or on the edge of the road, on the against traffic side, so even if the car doesn't see you, you see the car. Bicycles, unless in a dedicated bike lane, should go with traffic, and be considered a car by drivers, who should be asked to completely change lanes to pass, although in small towns and cities, you can usually ride on the sidewalk without police hassle. Night walkers and riders need lots of lighted or light reflecting gear. If your kid is too young or dumb, keep them in the backyard or supervise them properly.
We have a walk-in shower. The worst part of traveling is being forced to use a tub shower in hotels.
I'm going to redo and expand my downstairs bath, because it's 1960s and has water damage. If your going to do a walk-in shower, you might as well make it a wet room or disabled friendly.
Waaaah! First World Complaints!
I found the shower article interesting - but it's all about the style, and what I want is how those damn bathrooms are laid out. I have a fascination with how people move through and use space in houses (and other buildings too, but mostly homes). Most of those look like real bathrooms, not set pieces, so the layout (the floor plan, if you will) would be accomodating actual space in actual homes.
Oh well, another article, another day....
In case you are wondering why the House took off early instead of preventing a government shutdown, it seems the Speaker had more important things to work on.
---
Did Mike Johnson show up in Paris? We know at least he was watching. Far-right French politician Eric Zemmour kicked off the meeting - he welcomes everyone, then gestures & calls out "monsieur le président de la chambre des représentants" (Mr. House Speaker). (Video next). 10/
https://twitter.com/capitolhunters/status/1724091427653832741
The problem for women is that too many of them foolishly want to marry men. Given that we don't start maturing for at least 50 years, we aren't the best choice for anyone.
Check this site out if you want an example of an absolutely gorgeous walk-in accessible shower. It is not cheap. I checked out adding bi-fold glass shower doors like these to my own accessible shower design, and they were going to cost an additional $5000, and so of course I didn't go that route.
https://www.houzz.com/photos/berkeley-traditional-universal-design-bathroom-traditional-bathroom-san-francisco-phvw-vp~4458091
I have watched hundreds of home tour videos where the house has a walk-in shower, and 99.9% of them do not have grab bars installed. This is a big mistake. You don't have to be permanently disabled to need grab bars in the bath or shower, all you need is the occasional broken bone or sprained ankle, which a friend of mind discovered when she broke her ankle, and suddenly she thought grab bars might have been a good idea.
I really like the "weave" of the floor tiles
It's clearly a custom job by an expert. I emailed the designers and they said the shower alone cost over $20,000. What the whole bathroom remodel cost, I didn't ask and they didn't tell me.
"It has plans to make Iceland a major international carbon-burial hub"
To be fair, once the Blue Lagoon explodes this week, Iceland is going to need a major new tourist attraction.
I need a walk in bathtub myself.
My walk-in shower. https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1000,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/if_ar_lt_1.0/c_fill,g_auto,ar_1:1/if_end/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa3a34432-7eeb-4b4e-b3c4-376126a660bb_1080x720.jpeg
Oh that's perfect. I prefer the swinging door to the sliders but my bathroom was simply too small for that, so sliders it was. Is. Still.
I knocked out a couple of walls to get it to that size. I think it was about 8X5 before I took a sledge hammer to it.
I hope you had any frustrations in mind while you did it, demolishing a wall is a terrible thing to waste! ; )
The bedroom was L shaped with one wall of the bathroom creating the short leg of the L. That's one wall I knocked down and deleted the L. It added 5 ft to the bathroom. The other one was a diagonal wall which hid the hot water heater. I replaced the heater with a tankless on the exterior of the house and got rid of that wall, too.
Figuring out the best layout for a particular footprint is such a chalenge, as I slowly update bits of my house there's always the task of figuring what order to do things in- for instance the first floor ceilings have to cone down to get the radiant floor installed upstairs, but I can't afford to rehab the kitchen and the entire heating system in the same year, so it's a complicated choreography. I have managed to do some small things myself, however, and it keeps the progress moving forward.
I know when I visit my family and I can smell the ocean it transports me back in time, I hope you haven't gone too far from the ocean, even if your view is now in the past.
I shouldn't whine. I'm five minutes from the beach by car now.
The bathroom was the trickiest of the improvements we made to that house. It has four windows including a really large one on one end and three narrow ones on a side. It's really hard to factor windows into a bathroom reno. I used a lot of graph paper figuring it out. In comparison, the kitchen was easy, though it also included knocking down some walls.
I think I've developed a knack for this. If you ever want someone to look over pictures and brainstorm ideas, I'd be happy to take a gander.
You are a woman of taste
I miss that little house with the great bathroom and fantastic kitchen and ocean views.
That Rudy article is great, and contains this gem:
"...all Trump has done is host a single fundraiser for Giuliani at his New Jersey country club, a fact that infuriates Giuliani’s longtime allies, some of whom are also close to Trump.
“There are street signs named after Donald Trump,” one said. “They’re called One Way.’”
It's weird that people are only figuring this stuff out now