16 Comments
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Rarian Rakista's avatar

I never understood the whole stealing thing myself.

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Rarian Rakista's avatar

Sumos can stand, maybe she is a female version.

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chascates's avatar

Between the consumers on scooters and the security on Segways we may be facing a potential battery shortage. As well as a nation of unfit, overweight lazies.

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102415's avatar

Yes, if the futon smelled.

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Monsieur_Grumpe's avatar

Yeah, they should have just shot her tires out.

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Rarian Rakista's avatar

She just sits on a modified boot cleaner to clean off and masturbate at the same time.

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Rarian Rakista's avatar

I bet she when she sweats she smells like 7 day old lunch meat.

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Rarian Rakista's avatar

And was self-soiling.

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Rarian Rakista's avatar

They actually have problems with this, our local county jail was sued for not having a uniform large enough for a child molester when he stood at a hearing, he got a settlement.

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Rarian Rakista's avatar

The proper scientific term would be General Relativity. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wik..." target="_blank">" rel="nofollow noopener" title="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/General_relativity">http://en.wikipedia.org/wik...

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Mahousu's avatar

Her picture in the article says "Click to enlarge." Is that really necessary?

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JustPixelz: IV%'er's avatar

For an extra $10 she could have gotten the "getaway" model. But instead she's headed to The (Extra) Big House.

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Monsieur_Grumpe's avatar

Cheese?

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Monsieur_Grumpe's avatar

At 5’2” and 400lbs she’s probably fairly spherical. She should try rolling.

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PsycWench's avatar

Note that the culprit is 30 years old...way too old to justify that fighting stance crap, and way, way too young to have a BMI >70.

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PsycWench's avatar

A lot of them are bitching about the tasering...was it really necessary? But I imagine taking her in would be a lot like carrying an extra large futon mattress upstairs while the mattress is fighting to get loose.

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