16 Comments
User's avatar
Rarian Rakista's avatar

I never understood the whole stealing thing myself.

Rarian Rakista's avatar

Sumos can stand, maybe she is a female version.

chascates's avatar

Between the consumers on scooters and the security on Segways we may be facing a potential battery shortage. As well as a nation of unfit, overweight lazies.

102415's avatar

Yes, if the futon smelled.

Monsieur_Grumpe's avatar

Yeah, they should have just shot her tires out.

Rarian Rakista's avatar

She just sits on a modified boot cleaner to clean off and masturbate at the same time.

Rarian Rakista's avatar

I bet she when she sweats she smells like 7 day old lunch meat.

Rarian Rakista's avatar

They actually have problems with this, our local county jail was sued for not having a uniform large enough for a child molester when he stood at a hearing, he got a settlement.

Rarian Rakista's avatar

The proper scientific term would be General Relativity. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wik..." target="_blank">" rel="nofollow noopener" title="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/General_relativity">http://en.wikipedia.org/wik...

Mahousu's avatar

Her picture in the article says "Click to enlarge." Is that really necessary?

JustPixelz: IV%'er's avatar

For an extra $10 she could have gotten the "getaway" model. But instead she's headed to The (Extra) Big House.

Monsieur_Grumpe's avatar

At 5’2” and 400lbs she’s probably fairly spherical. She should try rolling.

PsycWench's avatar

Note that the culprit is 30 years old...way too old to justify that fighting stance crap, and way, way too young to have a BMI >70.

PsycWench's avatar

A lot of them are bitching about the tasering...was it really necessary? But I imagine taking her in would be a lot like carrying an extra large futon mattress upstairs while the mattress is fighting to get loose.