A Children's Treasury of Fourth of July Patriotic Musical Videos

In case you fall off a diving board or something this weekend, and land on your head and forget what country you're in, this is a pretty good weekend, because there will be a hundred or so American Flagswherever you look.Approximately 235 years ago today -- the exact date has been lost to history -- the last of a bloated group of landed gentry and elite slaveholders finished signing some rambling pile of grandiosity apparently authored by Thomas Jefferson during one of his rare respites from impregnating his slave girls. And in another twenty years or so, thanks to the French finally winning a war somewhere, America the Beautiful was born. Let's celebrate with that most American of traditions, the YouTube blog post.

Before we get to Elvis Presley on the eve of his death, on a toilet, singing "America the Beautiful," let's enjoy America's #1 King onstage during one of his legendary drug-fueled rants. In this one, he does his Fat Albert imitation, makes race jokes, and talks about the government conspiracies against him. Never forget!

Now here's his shitty version of this weird song:

And here's Leonard Cohen's "Democracy":

Oh sorry, that was a patriotic lie. Let's enjoy Iowa's greatest hero, John Wayne Gacy, say that sex poem he used to read before he strangled those young men, for America:

And we'll leave you with President John Quincy Adams, father of our country, singing this Belgian folk song from the First World War:

Oh sorry. SORRY!!!!!