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A Children's Treasury Of Sweet And Loving Missives From Your Friendly Neighborhood NRA
You know what? We've been trying to write this thing for hours and failing, because there's no good snark and we are supposed to bring you snark. But there are 27 dead people in Connecticut, and 20 of them are children. Little kids, too - like kindergartners, like third graders, like fifth graders. Most of you are probably sitting numb at your computer like we've been all day, alternating between reading the news obsessively and deciding you can't read it at all. What you are probably NOT doing is tweeting about how awesome guns are, how many guns you have, and how if we'd just armed teachers and kindergartners, none of this would happen. But hey! NRA types got that covered for you:
yes! more news about people carrying guns everywhere is the BEST type of news.
Today is indeed an awesome day to go over to Facebook and "like" the NRA. Won't your friends be proud when that shows up in their feed? They'll probably like them too! Who wouldn't?
What time is it? Time to fetishize Israel AND call for arming teachers.
The NRA tweeted this before the shooting, but we just thought it was an awesome time to remind you how stone cold great it is to carry guns fucking EVERYWHERE.
Oh conservative pundits, this is probably the time for you to drink a glass of shut the fuck up.
Bryan Fischer would like to remind you that pretty much no one is as big of a dick as he is.
Bryan Fischer would like to add that besides being a massive dick, he is likely the most terrible person imaginable today.
Cool gun, bro. Great time to ask for a retweet from an arms manufacturer to show that bad boy off.
This one is a couple days old, but it is never too early to think about a gun for Christmas. It's the gift that keeps on giving.
We're going to go watch that video of Bamz again, because somehow it makes us feel both worse and better. And then we might go hug a child, for reals.