You know what? We've been trying to write this thing for hours and failing, because there's no good snark and we are supposed to bring you snark. But there are 27 dead people in Connecticut, and 20 of them are children. Little kids, too - like kindergartners, like third graders, like fifth graders. Most of you are probably sitting numb at your computer like we've been all day, alternating between reading the news obsessively and deciding you can't read it at all. What you are probably NOT doing is tweeting about how awesome guns are, how many guns you have, and how if we'd just armed teachers and kindergartners, none of this would happen. But hey! NRA types got that covered for you:
Fuck yes, puppies! Today we need a bit of creatures whose first instinct is 'feed me, cuddle me!' not 'what you lookin at, wanna fight about?' Throw in a little bit of that goat who uses his siblings as climbing rocks and I'll feel better.
There&#039;s no shortage of <a href="http:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2012\/04\/03\/us\/fatal-shootings-at-oikos-university-in-oakland-calif.html" target="_blank">evidence to the contrary</a>, but evaluation of factual evidence is hardly the strong suit of these fucksticks.
Frankly, I&#039;m all in favor of repealing the fucking Second Amendment. We don&#039;t need it, paranoid fantasies of the wingtards notwithstanding. If the fucking gun nuts want to shoot it out with the government, well ... natural selection could use some help in this country.
It is quite extortionary. Why just not have angels &quot;guard&quot; people such as kindergarteners from shit like this. Angels are real, right? No? Well, then we&#039;re fucked. Proper fucked as Turkish would say.
PUPPIES!!!
Childhood&#039;s End always makes me cry when the island goes up. Sort of like today.
I assume it&#039;s because he&#039;s still a soprano.
Fuck yes, puppies! Today we need a bit of creatures whose first instinct is &#039;feed me, cuddle me!&#039; not &#039;what you lookin at, wanna fight about?&#039; Throw in a little bit of that goat who uses his siblings as climbing rocks and I&#039;ll feel better.
There&#039;s no shortage of <a href="http:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2012\/04\/03\/us\/fatal-shootings-at-oikos-university-in-oakland-calif.html" target="_blank">evidence to the contrary</a>, but evaluation of factual evidence is hardly the strong suit of these fucksticks.
Frankly, I&#039;m all in favor of repealing the fucking Second Amendment. We don&#039;t need it, paranoid fantasies of the wingtards notwithstanding. If the fucking gun nuts want to shoot it out with the government, well ... natural selection could use some help in this country.
Even &quot;originalist&quot; Scalia manages to not see it.
Naturally, some dickwad created a &quot;gun in every classroom&quot; petition. He&#039;s being outvoted by a 10-1 margin.
Diarrhea of the brain.
Nothing in the 33 years since. And before Spencer, who? Lizzie Borden? The correlation is undeniable.
&quot;Guns are needed for self-protection&quot; is complete and utter bullshit.
Lanza&#039;s mother had three guns in the house -- has anyone asked the gun nuts how well that worked out?
Free peen enlargements for teatards and wingnuts?
Bonus: Obamacare would be much more popular.
Blunt instruments vs. crazy fuckers with semi-automatics? Good luck with that.
âªâ« Rake the hall with hollow-point volleys Fa-la-la-la-la, la la la la. Kill and maim with mindless folly Fa-la-la-la-la, la la la la. âªâ«
It is quite extortionary. Why just not have angels &quot;guard&quot; people such as kindergarteners from shit like this. Angels are real, right? No? Well, then we&#039;re fucked. Proper fucked as Turkish would say.
That shit is downright unruly.