A Children's Treasury Of Thoughtful Reactions To The Hobby Lobby Decision
We're all still reeling over the awful Hobby Lobby decision today, but thank heavens, some of our great thinkers have already weighed in. For instance, Rick Santorum is positively frothy over the decision, even to the point of losing his prepositions:
SCOTUS restored a vital piece our Constitution today [sic]. It’s a great day for all Americans!
We didn't actually notice a part of Our Constitution that said, "Hey, go ahead and tell your employees how they're supposed to do sex," but we'll admit we haven't read Rick Santorum's copy. More Big Thoughts ahead!
Senator Ted Cruz (R-Canuckistan) issued a statement celebrating the restoration of religious freedom to corporations that never had it before:
“Today the Supreme Court handed our nation a landmark victory for religious liberty. The decision affirms that Americans, contrary to what the Obama Administration attempted to impose, have a right to live and work in accordance to their conscience and can’t be forced to surrender their religious freedom once they open a business."
Darn that Obama, making a the owners of Hobby Lobby spend money on slut pills, when anybody knows that they were only interested in making money by investing in companies that sell slut pills.
One Twitter troublemaker found a product on Hobby Lobby's website that was just begging for a review:
Feculent Cylon Weaselbot Ben Shapiro sure wishes the Supreme Court wouldn't let the wrong kind of Jews have opinions about ... well, anything, really:
Fuuny, when we're itching, it's usually because we've been near Ben Shapiro.
On the other hand, a few Very Bad Liberals hoped that Hobby Lobby stores would "burn to the ground" -- and a couple even said someone should do it -- and the nine fulltime employees of Twitchy were there to pout and worry about what this world is coming to:
Ex-Congresscritter-to-be Steve Stockman, whose Senate run fizzled and died, had several thoughtful insights:
We like Stockman's plea for diversity of thought there. You know, like how he just loves the creative views of Ted "Suck on my machine gun" Nugent.
From Elizabeth Warren, we have this attempt to eradicate thoughts and beliefs that differ from hers:
Excuse us, Senator Professor, but those are deeply-held vague moral objections.
We also had this astute political analysis from Bethany Mandel, an actual blogger for Commentary Magazine:
Haha, it is so true! Everyone who uses contraception will become sterile, and the Bethany Mandels of the world will breed a conservative wonderland into being.
And Elizabeth Plank of .MicNews seems to have identified the root of the problem:
We'll give the last word to this observation, related to last week's big decision:
"This decision concerns only the contraceptive mandate and should not be understood to hold that all insurance-coverage mandates, e.g., for vaccinations or blood transfusions, must necessarily fall if they conflict with an employer’s religious beliefs. Nor does it provide a shield for employers who might cloak illegal discrimination as a religious practice."
Some would look at this part of the decision and think it means all other religio-fruitcase objections are invalid, but if you ask me, this is actually OPENING THE DOOR, arguable that this decision primarily <i>allows any &#039;religious objection&#039;</i> to any other process, simply because that process doesn&#039;t fall into an &quot;insurance-mandate&quot; kind of structure.
I will wager Clarence Thomas&#039; entire interracial porn collection that corporations will be definitely using this decision to fuck more people over, specifically in areas having nothing to do with &quot;insurance mandates&quot; or &quot;illegal discrimination&quot; because &quot;that&#039;s the only thing this decision specifically limited.&quot;
And even more specifically, I&#039;d say this decision will be used to allow any and all &#039;legal discrimination,&#039; only now based on so called religious practices.
IS[W]YD[T], you [sic]ko!