A Great Empire Will Fall. Tabs, Wed., April 8, 2026

Morning news roundup, things to read.

Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!

As of 6:40 p.m. Eastern, Trump announced he would not wipe out “a whole civilization” for another two weeks. Like the Dread Pirate Roberts saying good night Westley, I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.

These are just really nice people.

@iranfrominsideWould you come to cafe with me? #tehran #iran #Persian #iranian #fun #dating #middleeastern

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Did anybody tell him about the Oracle at Delphi? No, that would probably be too subtle. (Mused)

How’s the media covering all of this? Very very badly. Margaret Sullivan has some suggestions, like SUCK LESS PLEASE THIS IS IMPORTANT. (Margaret Sullivan) A reporter did come super close to winning the Jeff Tiedrich What The Fuck Is Wrong With You Challenge, and I noticed, and Tiedrich noticed too. (Tiedrich)

No reason, here’s the Wik on the 2024 South Korean Parliament scaling the walls to convene, overrule the president’s invocation of martial law, and arrest his ass. (Wikipedia)

Trump’s requested $1.5 trillion for Defense — up almost 50 percent — doesn’t include an extra $200 billion he wants for this war. But you’ll never guess what’s in there, it’s billions for all his kids and Elmo and Peter Thiel and their friends! (Popular Info)

Giving Chuck Schumer credit — really! — for winning the ICE funding fight (so far). If we are all still alive today anyway! (The American Prospect) (PS: Good for TAP for getting rid of all their “programmatic” ads, which Wonkette did … 10 years ago. Thank you all for love and money this whole time!)

I think Marcie already gave you this one but it’s important to note that Democrats are less mad at Democratic leadership now that Chuck Schumer is actually holding the line (so far). (G. Elliott Morris)

I could give a shit about Hasan Piker, but I DO give a shit that people I like (Mallory McMorrow) are apparently listening to fucking Third Way and trying to use him as a wedge issue. Mallory, they are dumb jerks! Don’t listen to them! The wedge is facing the wrong way! (Katelyn Burns)

This basketball player needs help, but instead of help he’s being used by the worst “Christians” on earth. (Parker Molloy)

ICYMI: The DOJ decided presidents named Trump don’t have to give all the papers back. (CBS News)

“Final Exam for the Class ‘What a Presidential Candidate Can and Cannot Survive, Apparently’ Taught by Howard Dean” (McSweeney’s)

All the girl whales midwifing their whale friend. (France24)

Our universe is beautiful. Read some beautiful words about it. (Laura Jedeed)

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