513 Comments
User's avatar
Antifa Commander's avatar

Girl, you thought he was a man, but he was a puffin!

weejee's avatar

Wonderful puffin lede. Luv puffins. For other Wonks that do, go to the outer isles of Ireland and Scotland.

Tommy Mo's avatar

Them puffins hoovering up moss remind me of me at the Old Country Buffet.

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

They got very close to being called parfaits.

OneYieldRegular's avatar

Puffin stuff.

SkeptiKC's avatar

I WUV puffins!

vorpal 86...47...ʰᵘᵗ ʰᵘᵗ ʰᵘᵗ's avatar

These puffins grab stuffings and later, eat muffins.

The Wanderer's avatar

The song of Drag the Magic Puffin:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D0LfUZNLtsM

Bagels of Doom's avatar

Puffins? Will there boobies next?

CakesWeLike's avatar

This is a Dick Joke Emporium. The very least I would expect would be a great big cock.

Bagels of Doom's avatar

Fun fact: Male boobies have dicks.

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

Busy. Busy. Busy.

yrs,

Bokonon

Still Kicking It and Evading The Hook

Joe Z's avatar

Puffins are so friendly.

https://youtu.be/WD3rxqM21sA

Free beach's avatar

Needs to be given minnows

Barney's avatar

Atlantic puffins (maybe all?) have serrated bills, all the better to hold sandeels, their main diet, with (or nest material, I suppose). So a puffin looks for a mate with a big bill, to feed chicks. The record is ... 83!

https://www.wildlifetrusts.org/wildlife-explorer/birds/seabirds/puffin

Crabman's avatar

One of the best perks of my job as a commercial fisherman in the waters of Kodiak island is that I’m around both Horned Puffins and their cousins the Tufted Puffins all the time. They are beautiful and amazing creatures that I never get tired of watching and marveling at.

ElderlyLoudCatWomyn's avatar

One of your puffed up job perks!!

littlerice vice's avatar

Is PUFFIN anyway akin to TOKING?

Shocktreatment's avatar

They have good publicists, connected...

Martini Glambassador's avatar

I guess my play on words was not as clever as I thought it was. 🙁

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/puff%20piece

Antifa Commander's avatar

*I* liked it!

Free beach's avatar

It’s works. It’s HR puffinstuff

SkeptiKC's avatar

He's your friend when things get rough!

HR Puff'instuff

He can't do a little/He can't do enough

NorfolkAndWay's avatar

Dammit. Ear worm incoming.

NatalyaResists's avatar

I loved it!

The Wanderer's avatar

They're either gathering nest materials or someone got into their stash.

Menotsure's avatar

I got a chance to observe large groups of nesting Atlantic puffins one summer in the Canadian Maritimes. They make for entertaining bird watching.

Angryoldman's avatar

Got to watch a whole cliff of them, 300 feet straight down to the ocean, on Westray in the Orkneys about this time one year. Fascinating.

Cincinnatus's avatar

>>$5 million for coating horse statues in gold<<

Gilding a filly.

Apollyon Danish's avatar

They're not horsing around this time.

Tappin Lisa's avatar

Totally worth clicking through to the anxious masculinity article for this:

"So behold, the pulsating hunk of virile man-meat that is Ken Paxton"

Yeah, I might have struggled to keep my breakfast down, but still worth it.

Shallow state's avatar

[Trump Judge] Nichols found that it's too early for a court to issue an emergency ruling that halts key parts of Trump's order [to disenfranchise millions of voters] because those directives have not been carried out yet.

A guy who threatened to commit arson is pouring gasoline all through your apartment building? Sorry, ma'am, we can't do anything, he hasn't lit a match yet. Fucking fascists.

OG Blockhead's avatar

I was at an art gallery in Baltimore in April (I know: I am obviously a commie and GAY), and there was an artist whose work was this speculative "what if AI was spiritual?" stuff. It was kinda cool, very detailed, lots of symmetrical patterns.

SO, I asked him what he thought about the Dune novels being set in a future where AI was destroyed because it was exterminating humanity and there was a whole Butlerian jihad. And he hadn't read any of the Dune novels. After I picked my jaw up, I explained Dune to him in thirty seconds, which is a world record.

SO, again, imagine my surprise when the pope (also gay/commie) basically says AI is the devil. AND also my surprise when I learn that my daughter and her thirty something friends are contemplating become CATHOLIC and her mother, my wife, who is Episcopalian (as in the ethnicity, not the religion) has an imaginary stroke. Yeah, so that's my life.

Judi Lakin's avatar

So our priorities now are gaudy gold covered horse statues for $5 million, while we cut food for 700,000 children? What a fu*kin’ country!

Worriedman's avatar

The kitchen is almost done and soon, soon I say , I'll be back to Substacking three or four times a week. Here's one for this week. I like it! There's a poem and a video and lots of photos of Happy creatures dancing cross the lawn and otherwise.

https://brawlatthepoetscafe.substack.com/p/last-evening-i-placed-fresh-towels?r=insr

psychobroad's avatar

LOVE, LOVE the Philadelphia Story!

SethTriggs's avatar

So apparently Temu Fyre Festival...sorry, the "Great American State Fair" has now lost seven of nine acts. They see the stench and do not want their careers and names anywhere near this!

ElderlyLoudCatWomyn's avatar

All of those people who attended the trump military parade will be showing up ...

Apollyon Danish's avatar

Are they both carpooling together?

Sadly Practical's avatar

If I’m catching this right, the MAGA/Christian Nationalist Freedom 250 group is (dis)organizing this, while the official bipartisan group set up by Congress in 2016 is America 250. So for the artists who even knew they were being announced as part of the lineup, some may have misunderstood and thought they were part of the nonpartisan events.

But it seems that no matter how many people shun these weirdos they refuse to believe they aren’t the majority, and they’re fixated on making reality match their imagination.

Tetman Callis's avatar

Decomposing corpses are the worst smell.

maureenc's avatar

Flo Rida must be in a coma or something.

M'Hael's avatar

*Harry Kim has entered the chat*

Sorry, what about Seven of... oh.

*Harry Kim has left the chat*

Holly - Lima Charlie's avatar

Wanna see the perfect way to show these assholes how it's done? Paulina did it in the most graceful way I do believe I've ever seen. I really wish she'd chosen the dress she's wearing in the picture because she's drop dead gorgeous in it - I'm sure the dress she chose is just as beautiful...but still the one she has on is pure perfection and one that'll have Katie seething with her signature hate fueled shit posting.

https://newrepublic.com/post/211034/stephen-miller-wife-katie-doxes-woman-behind-democrats-ugly-f-k-post

Apollyon Danish's avatar

I'm a shallow person, so I'm going to say it: Katie and Stephen look like they were made for each other.

Shallow state's avatar

Heard on the radio this morning, a story about a CIA agent with a fabricated resume arrested for stealing millions of dollars in gold bars and currency that he had requisitioned and received for his intelligence work. It's like one of those "Find all the things wrong with the picture" thingies.

rawrtigerlily's avatar

“only the best people”. 🎶

We clearly live in a country where hard work & competence is for suckers. Just grab and grift what you can before it all falls down around us. 🤷‍♀️

jaspersdad's avatar

Shut up, you ugly fuck is a way better version of MAGA’s Let’s Go Brandon.

Resource NW's avatar

Somewhere/when an MBA grad student did a research paper on slumlords and ran the numbers and the numbers were good! Profit!

rawrtigerlily's avatar

Brian Goldstone’s pulitzer prize winning book “There’s no Place for us” is an infuriating deep dive into all the factors that are creating the rent crisis, with a narrative focus on a handful of families in Atlanta around the beginning of the covid pandemic.

Apollyon Danish's avatar

For those who find that Papa John's doesn't taste enough like cardboard and depression.

"M"'s avatar

Tim Miller (Bulwark) FINALLY gets around to interviewing Professor Eddie Glaude

who in turn warns us (again) about JV Dunce as the latter bellicosely "promotes" the concept of "legacy Americans"

😬🙄🙄

https://youtu.be/fMRkgmIDs7Y?si=0EYOa_wRfJvpV9uM

Nothing but white nationalist terrorism dressed up in polysyllabics, but potentially constructed to promote violence in the followers

Karen Hunter also explained that yesterday another way

Donald's War on DEI Massively Backfired for White Men

https://youtu.be/8KezFhWfCJU?si=L8dhL6LiPRrojg08

FrancescoTheMagnificent's avatar

"Merit" ain't what it used to be for this nation of losers.

Apollyon Danish's avatar

What, you don't believe in the merit o' crazies?

SkeptiKC's avatar

A sense of entitlement isn't too terribly motivating in the workplace.

FrancescoTheMagnificent's avatar

Or the apparent belief that one's co-workers need to explain their presence to you because their presence isn't legitimate without your approval.

You're one of the “good ones.”

Fuck these people.