That this derelict fucking LOON is now charged with overseeing the health and well being of American citizens makes my skin crawl damned near entirely off of my frame.
First of all, don’t raccoons use the same trick as most non-human mammals, ie tucking their penises away in some sort of sheath when not in use?
Thanks, RFKJ, for making me wonder about this and the logical follow-up question: how exactly did you accomplish this particular crime against decency?
It's funny that he's lying about this. So: in the early 2000s, for whatever reason, racoon penii took off as 'love charms' that were supposed to attract women. It was a local/regional belief in some places, but it blew up nationally. I think maybe Johnny Depp had one, but can't find a source.
Anyways: RFK stopped to get a love charm and he probably still has it somewhere. Raccoons have a penis bone, so it would last a while, no jokes intended.
He is already responsible for many deaths, and by the time he's done there will be scores more dying, even after he's finally kicked out.
BTW. Bobby Brainworm did tear his rotator cuff while doing that workout video with Kid Rock. He had surgery a little over a week ago. As a former addict, they can't give him much in the way of pain killers, so he can suck on that petrified raccoon dick for relief.
I am given to understand that raccoon penis bone (yes, they have a penis bone) is favored by moonshiners for directing and controlling the alcohol drip from their stills.
It would explain a lot if this guy was getting blind drunk off his own supply, of what I would assume to be wood alcohol.
True story—one summer I was staying at my parents’ place while they were gone. The idiot neighbor would leave food out for stray cats, which brought a ton of raccoons out. They moved into my parents’ front porch and were under during the day and then party all night, right under my bedroom windows.
When they made love, the sounds were horrific.
I had nothing to really throw at them, so I rummaged around in the pantry and found a bunch of canned clams (mom makes chowder on Christmas Eve but saves them up), so I started throwing them at the raccoons and not only did they not leave, it seemed like they were advancing at me, so I ran inside and slept on the sofa in another room all summer.
Once the local raccoon tribe had an orgy on my roof. It was so loud it woke up the whole damn block. We were all out there with flashlights like WTF. The answer was Raccoons That Fuck. They're not a bit discreet about it.
No. I will do a lot of things for Wonkette but I will not consider the raccoon penis that RFKJr cut off a dead animal in the street with tools I assume he keeps in his car for just such an occasion. I will not consider what he did to it or where it might be now.
I'm very tired of playing this game with these weirdos and I'd very much like for it to stop now.
Is this another one of those raccoon penis stories? You never used to hear about this sort of thing. Not outside of church camp or suburbs of Greenville South Carolina.
Anyone remember that book by JT Le Roy about the lizards patrolling truck stops? “Sarah” apparently affectionately treasures her Raccoon penis bone. That memoir turned out to be a hoax. Seems that RFK jr has never really had a grip on reality.
That's enough internet today...
That this derelict fucking LOON is now charged with overseeing the health and well being of American citizens makes my skin crawl damned near entirely off of my frame.
First of all, don’t raccoons use the same trick as most non-human mammals, ie tucking their penises away in some sort of sheath when not in use?
Thanks, RFKJ, for making me wonder about this and the logical follow-up question: how exactly did you accomplish this particular crime against decency?
Gross MacDonald-triading bastard.
It's funny that he's lying about this. So: in the early 2000s, for whatever reason, racoon penii took off as 'love charms' that were supposed to attract women. It was a local/regional belief in some places, but it blew up nationally. I think maybe Johnny Depp had one, but can't find a source.
Anyways: RFK stopped to get a love charm and he probably still has it somewhere. Raccoons have a penis bone, so it would last a while, no jokes intended.
Maybe he gave it to Cheryl for their first anniversary and it put a spell on her.
😂🤣🤮
He's so weird it's not funny.
This … sounds like the kind of thing he brought up in his interview for head of the HHS that sealed the deal.
“You’re hired!!” exclaimed Jabba the President.
He fits the profile of a serial killer.
He is already responsible for many deaths, and by the time he's done there will be scores more dying, even after he's finally kicked out.
BTW. Bobby Brainworm did tear his rotator cuff while doing that workout video with Kid Rock. He had surgery a little over a week ago. As a former addict, they can't give him much in the way of pain killers, so he can suck on that petrified raccoon dick for relief.
You wanna know what's REALLY weird? The New York Post published this piece.
I am given to understand that raccoon penis bone (yes, they have a penis bone) is favored by moonshiners for directing and controlling the alcohol drip from their stills.
It would explain a lot if this guy was getting blind drunk off his own supply, of what I would assume to be wood alcohol.
True story—one summer I was staying at my parents’ place while they were gone. The idiot neighbor would leave food out for stray cats, which brought a ton of raccoons out. They moved into my parents’ front porch and were under during the day and then party all night, right under my bedroom windows.
When they made love, the sounds were horrific.
I had nothing to really throw at them, so I rummaged around in the pantry and found a bunch of canned clams (mom makes chowder on Christmas Eve but saves them up), so I started throwing them at the raccoons and not only did they not leave, it seemed like they were advancing at me, so I ran inside and slept on the sofa in another room all summer.
Once the local raccoon tribe had an orgy on my roof. It was so loud it woke up the whole damn block. We were all out there with flashlights like WTF. The answer was Raccoons That Fuck. They're not a bit discreet about it.
"Consider the raccoon penis."
No. I will do a lot of things for Wonkette but I will not consider the raccoon penis that RFKJr cut off a dead animal in the street with tools I assume he keeps in his car for just such an occasion. I will not consider what he did to it or where it might be now.
I'm very tired of playing this game with these weirdos and I'd very much like for it to stop now.
Is this another one of those raccoon penis stories? You never used to hear about this sort of thing. Not outside of church camp or suburbs of Greenville South Carolina.
Rolling down the street with a dead bear
Sipping on gin and whale juice
With my mind on my raccoon penis
And my raccoon penis on my mind
That racoon knows what it did.
Anyone remember that book by JT Le Roy about the lizards patrolling truck stops? “Sarah” apparently affectionately treasures her Raccoon penis bone. That memoir turned out to be a hoax. Seems that RFK jr has never really had a grip on reality.