Good morning good morning, here’s a whole bunch of shit to read, it’s tabs!
Trump seems to think the European Union is giving him, personally, a $600 billion slush fund? What’s he talkin’ ‘bout, Willis? (Paul Krugman)
Crime rates in the US in 2024 were lowest since the 1960s. Fucking Joe Biden. (Popular Info)
Oh! Here’s a crime! Watch this Trump DOJ official tell his fellow January 6 rioters to kill cops. (NPR)
Here’s another! This crazy story of these two crypto bros who tortured a guy for weeks in their $75,000 a month NYC apartment for his crypto passwords. They say it was “a prank.” I fell down a rabbit hole about their art dealer though, Peter Brant Jr., who is Stephanie Seymour’s and her billionaire husband’s son and who seems to be a very bad boy himself, what with the slugging airport cops and skipping out on $2000 restaurant bills. (Gift link Wall Street Journal / Page Six) Of course I had just finished rereading this piece on Stephanie Seymour’s relationship with Epstein-and-Trump-pal John Casablancas when she was 16 and he … was not, and trigger warning for all of it. (New York via Google Books)
Sen. Jon Ossoff has compiled a report showing more than 500 credible allegations of human rights violations by ICE, particularly of pregnant women and children. Pro-woman! Pro-life! For instance, “a partner of a woman in DHS custody reported the woman was pregnant and bled for days before DHS staff took her to a hospital, where she was left in a room alone to miscarry without water or medical assistance.” (Guardian / report)
They came here legally. They’ve done everything right. Trump made them illegal, singlehandedly, so his Nazi Barbie DHS Sec can gloat about torturing “lawbreakers.” (Mother Jones)
The Trump administration is denying retirement to trans troops it’s kicking out of the armed services. That seems illegal! (AP)
From a week ago, and Dok already wrote about these hearings, but Texas’s vaunted federal emergency management, along with Kristi Noem’s, has left people with no fucking help and their land still full of body parts. (Texas Tribune)
Speaking of Texas, they might fuck up their ubergerrymander on top of their already-gerrymander and accidentally make all their districts more competitive :) (Bad Faith Times)
Trump gonna trump up the Census like he tried to do last time. (Flashback NPR)
Noah Berlatsky disagrees with Ian Dunt on how to (in a progressive, non-Andrew Tate way) get straight men laid, and points out that there are options for doing it yourself and also hiring people to help you with that, among other things. (Everything Is Terrible)
California Gov. Gavin Newsom surprised everyone by signing a bill they didn’t realize capped HOA fines at $100 (unless they’re for health or safety) and you have got to see the doorway they were going to fine this lady $500 a day for fixing. But you can’t because for some reason that’s the only LAT pic missing from this Yahoo reprint. (LA Times via Yahoo!)
Friend of Wonkette Dr. Sarah Taber on the Neanderthal fat processing plant, record scratch wait WHAT?
WONKMEET in CLEVELAND with me, Shy, and Cleveland’s newest resident, Ziggy Wiggy! Aug. 16, 1 p.m. at the Boss Dog Brewing Company, 2179 Lee Rd., Cleveland Heights, OH 44118. I’m buying!
What time is it? It’s time to IMPEACH!
Wonkette runs entirely on contributions by you, our readers. Thank you for being our friend and keeping us living forever! The button below will let you donate one time or monthly, in any amount of your choosing.
Do you prefer Venmo? Here’s a button you will like.
It's Atchoum! Your hed gif kitty info: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/fast-pawed-floof
And meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/cec6eb5c-33d2-4cf8-a349-cc76e9f5a4ec
Dr. Sarah Taber is so very cool. I love her take on what the neanderthal fat rendering plant might have meant to the community and why they might have done it (because fat is tasty! among other reasons). And how these echos of food processing are reflected in who we are today.