Aaron Schock Has Cute Nickname For Private Planes Now, Calls Them 'Software'

Our Aaron Schock thought the news on his fancy and questionable spending was going to stop, but he was wrong. The fetching congressman from Illinois has been known for many things lately, like having to pay the US Treasury back $30,000 in taxpayer and campaign funds, so that he could own his Downton Abbey office, instead of just using it because the taxpayers said it was cool. Then of course, we learned that he was also using tax moneys to pay for his own personal Jonathon, who is svelte and handy with a camera, because all good boys need personal photographers. We don't know what else Jonathon helps with, maybe filing but probably definitely not backrubs.

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Now Aaron also gets to be known for spending tax and campaign moneys on private flights all over the place, probably with Jonathon in tow, to Chicago Bears games and to his district, part of which was reported in campaign finance docs as "software." Make your own jokes about "more like hardware haw haw" in the comments:

Keith Siilats, the chief technology officer of Bytelogics, said in an interview that the $3,425 that the Schock Victory Fund reported spending with his company was really part of the cost for a ride on his airplane.

“This is for a flight,” Siilats said in a brief interview Monday. Asked if he has ever sold Schock software, Siilats said, “No, I never sold him software.”

It’s not clear why Schock reported part of the cost of a flight as a purchase of software.

We don't know, maybe so nobody would question it, just guessing.

“It’s the same flight where we billed him for the $10,000 he disclosed,” Siilats said, referring to a Chicago Sun-Times story, which reported that Schock used taxpayer resources for a trip that included an NFL football game. “The total flight time was — it went longer that day when we flew. The $3,000 was a deposit, and then the $10,000 was the final bill. So the total bill was $13,000.”

Schock reimbursed the government roughly $10,000 for that flight. The additional $3,425, which Schock labeled as a software purchase, came out of the Schock Victory Fund, a joint fundraising account.

Politico also reports that Aaron will be going to South By Southwest this weekend, which is CLEARLY hot territory for connecting with the Republican base, oh yes, all those indie bands, they just want to hear about Reaganomics (it DID TOO work). However, yr Wonkette would like to go to SXSW, so if you have an extra "press" seat on your "software," we will be glad to "fill it" for you. We pinky swear not break any news about anything we might see, certainly not on Wonkette dot com.

Our guess is that, if this comes down to some sort of investigation, what they're going to want to look for is some kind of Legend, some kind of Golden Key that unlocks what different line items on Schock's budget ACTUALLY mean. For instance:

• Toilet paper = Trip to Bali.

• Printer cartridges = Dancing lessons in Argentina.

• Jalapeño poppers for snacks = other kinds of poppers, for "snacks."

• Batman costume = Robin costume, clearly.

• Personal photographer = Nice pictures of Aaron and NOTHING MORE.

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And so on. Ye must just find the map, and ye will find the treasure! Check his gym bag, don't know why, that just makes sense as a good first place to check for things that might be of interest, about Aaron Schock.

[ Politico ]