If we were Jesse Watters, and thank Christ we are not, we would not be happy with how our interview with Michigan Democratic Senate nominee Abdul El-Sayed went last night.
El-Sayed just dog-walked him. And it was particularly sad because it’s not like Jesse Watters is a real journalist or anything. The only thing he has is his white supremacist, predatory bullying. OK fine, he also has whatever instrument he used to let the air out of his now-wife’s tires, which he claims he used to woo her by tricking her into getting into his car. We guess when you don’t have game or moves, some men choose to go directly to less consensual methods.
You know who does have game and moves and smarts and is telegenic, cool and not-all-creepy, which really shows up in a split screen with Jesse Watters on the other side? Abdul El-Sayed.
He just dog-walked him. It was one of those confrontations between the real world and Fox News, where reality just keeps smacking up against syphilitic Fox News paranoia, which is left babbling “MEN IN WOMEN’S SPORTS!” over and over like a broken record player.
On top of screaming about men in women’s sports, Jesse periodically yelled things like “SEX CHANGES FOR MINORS!” and “REPARATIONS!” Occasionally, he would end a discussion with a declaration that “Michigan’s not going for that!” like somehow he makes the rules for Michigan, like “Michigan” is a woman in the trunk of his car who doesn’t get out unless she promises to obey.
Here are some highlights:
The clip above starts with one of the few points in the interview where they were talking about something of substance, though Jesse Watters was just tongue-fucking Trump talking points onto the screen. He was trying to accuse El-Sayed of somehow caving to Iran, when Donald Trump is the one who lost a war of choice to Iran. El-Sayed explained that it would be cool to “go back to the time when we were at peace and we actually had nuclear containment,” back when “we had a JCPOA that was well-negotiated, that actually had nuclear non-proliferation far more securely than what we have right now after having gone to war for the better part of six months.”
You know, the one the other guy with a funny Muslim name negotiated, the guy whose very existence Donald Trump has spent the better part of two decades trying to negate, because that man exposes how small and worthless he is.
Jesse Watters, a very stupid man, thinks success is that Iran’s nuclear program is “buried under a mountain of rubble.” El-Sayed explained that nuclear material doesn’t just go away because it’s under a mountain.
EL-SAYED: I understand you’re not good at math. I get that. I’ll give you that. But science, we gotta talk about science, OK? You understand that like nuclear material doesn’t just go away because you buried it under a mountain of rubble. You understand they can still go back and bury it out, right?
Jesse said Space Force was watching the mountain.
El-Sayed explained that we are not more secure now than we were 10 years ago.
“Yeah, we’re watching it from Space Force,” said Watters.
“So we’re not any more secure than we were back then,” hammered El-Sayed.
Then there was a quick pivot, because Jesse had to get out of there.
SHARIA LAW! (Of course.) ABDUL LOVES IT! One time he said that opposing it is WHITE SUPREMACY!
So Al-Sayed took an opportunity to expose Jesse for an idiot again:
EL-SAYED: Do you know what canon law is, Jesse? I assume you’re Christian, right?
Jesse Watters does not know what canon law or any other kind of Christian law is called.
EL-SAYED: All right, so canon law is the name for Christian law. I don’t begrudge you your right to practice your faith as you choose. I don’t know why the idea that I could practice my faith as I choose is a problem. Nobody is trying to push Sharia law on anyone else. Just like, I hope, nobody is trying to push canon law on anybody else, because we live in an America where you should have the freedom of your religion.
Then he decided to make fun of Tommy Tuberville, and in so doing he made Jesse laugh acccidentally.
EL-SAYED: So the idea that you have somebody like Tommy Tuberville, who barely was good at coaching football, is out here trying to ban Sharia law when there’s less than one percent of the Muslim community in America, as if somehow Muslims are out here trying to push Sharia law, that seems to me to be deliberately targeting the Muslim community because they’re different. And I’m just saying that I have no issue with people practicing their faith. In fact, I would never want somebody to push their faith on me, and I would never want to push my faith on somebody else.
Jesse lied and said nobody wants to force Muslims to get rid of their religion, as if they were not currently broadcasting on America’s worldwide home for Islamophobia AKA Fox News.
But Jesse Watters protested, “SHARIA LAW IN MICHIGAN’S KINDA SCARY! PEOPLE DON’T GO FOR THAT!”
(There is no Sharia law in Michigan.)
Yes, that is how this interview went.
Our favorite part of this whole clip below is where Jesse yelled “I’M NOT SCARED OF YOU, ABDUL!” (He is scared of you, Abdul.)
Here is Jesse Watters accusing Abdul El-Sayed of thinking it’s OK to “slash a ding-a-ling off.” (This was the MEN IN WOMEN’S SPORTS and SEX CHANGES FOR MINORS part of the 25-minute interview.)
You see, Dr. Abdul El-Sayed thinks gender-affirming care for trans kids should be between the kids, their parents and their doctors. This doesn’t work for the disturbed white conservative morons who watch Fox News with their hands in their pants thinking about children’s genitals. For them, the 12 or so kids in youth sports nationwide who identify as trans are the most important thing in the world, as is the imaginary threat of awkward, ugly pervert men putting on dresses and invading locker rooms and thus taking over women’s sports. (As we saw when that weird creep Enes Freedom tried to be a WNBA player.)
“SEX CHANGES FOR MINORS!” Jesse yelled.
“I don’t think the government should tell you what kind of healthcare you should have.”
“So Abdul, you’re a doctor, right?” Jesse asked.
“SO YOU THINK IT’S OK FOR A PARENT TO SLASH THEIR KID’S DING-A-LING OFF?” Jesse asked, in all caps.
El-Sayed asked Jesse if he’s circumcised.
“CIRCUMCISION IS DIFFERENT FROM CASTRATION!” yelled Jesse, after expressing that he was dismayed by the personal question about his penis.
El-Sayed noted again that circumcision is, indeed, surgery on a kid’s “ding-a-ling.”
“THAT’S WACKY, ABDUL! MICHIGAN’S NOT GOIN’ FOR THAT!”
At long last, El-Sayed decided to say something about how weird it was that they talked for one million hours and yet discussed nothing of substance:
EL-SAYED: You don’t want to talk about gas prices, you don’t want to talk about groceries, you don’t want to talk about healthcare, you don’t want to talk about this stupid trade war that’s about to destroy Michigan’s economy, you don’t want to talk about the actual war that’s destroying our own military, you don’t seem to want to talk about any of those things, you want to bring up all this culture war.
Watters babbled that they did too talk about that stuff, they even talked about the “Green New Deal.” (You know, that’s the buzzword moron Fox News viewers use to describe environmental innovation, because they think Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez snapped her fingers and made it law.)
Jesse tried again: “DO YOU THINK MEN SHOULD PLAY IN WOMEN’S SPORTS?” because again, he lives in Fox News squirrel-brained playland.
“IT’S A BIG ISSUE!” Jesse protested, because it’s part of his paycheck to make it a big issue, for Fox News viewers.
“You have daughters, right?!” Jesse asked, like Dr. Abdul El-Sayed would abuse his daughters’ intelligence by yapping at them about men in women’s sports.
El-Sayed said these things should be decided by the people who govern sports. As in, not the anal skin tags on Fox News.
“I’m running for US Senate, Jesse.” El-Sayed explained, trying to communicate that he’s not spending time on local Little League rules. “I’m out here trying to take on the healthcare crisis and Big Pharma, and you’re asking about who gets to play what sports.”
“I DON’T KNOW, IT’S KIND OF A BIG THING IF YOU’VE BEEN PAYING FOLLOWING THE NEWS RECENTLY, ABDUL!”
“The News.”
LOL.
Toward the end of the interview, El-Sayed made Jesse laugh again when he referred to his opponent Mike Rogers, “who you and I both agree is a beta.”
Jesse was mad Abdul El-Sayed made him laugh, and responded, “REPARATIONS! DO YOU SUPPORT THAT?” It was like there was a rabid monkey under his desk feeding him wingnut scare words.
Jesse ended by accusing El-Sayed, a more intelligent man than him in every way, of not having looked into the policies he supports. “You seem a little naive, Abdul!” he said in a theatrical voice, sounding like a man trying out for some women’s sports.
“I don’t know if that’s gonna fly in Michigan, but we’re gonna find out!”
Yes, we will find out.
Here is the full interview:
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(Breaks out an old recording of "My Ding-a-Ling") . . .
I think more than anything what you see with the fart huffing human centipede is they all gaslight themselves into believing in the absolute sanctity of their own intelligence. I think he expected Abdul Sayed to just be the charicature of either a lefty who just either believed and spouted insane shit, or a traditional liberal ready to run from standing for anything while throwing everyone else under the bus.
It helps again by being smart, photogenic, and not losing your cool under pressure, but this was quite possibly the most devastating thing that could happen for Jesse Waters audience. He got to look like the cool, funny, adult in the room. He made Jesse look just completely ridiculous going from grievance talking point to culture war shibboleth. WHAT ABOUT REPARATIONS. (Awkwardly changing the topic hoping he’d get some good crazy red meat). Abdul never once bit or lost his cool.
The greatest mistake Democrats have made in responding to the right is to treat them like they are this all powerful unstoppable force operating in good faith. They are a moronic collection of fucking chuds and can be dispatched with just a tiny bit of tact, grace, and humor.
I want a fully Democratic core of El Sayeds