309 Comments

If the rebubbaklans got the country they think they want, half of them would be dead in six months.

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If (when) the government closes for business, no food for the babies Republicans are so fond of.

The mommies either.

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Cop: Good evenin', folks.

Driver: Hello officer. I wasn't speeding. What seems to be the problem?

Cop: Well, as y'all passed by my cruiser I couldn't help but notice this young lady's in the family way. So I just pulled y'all over for a routine inspection.

Driver: Are you a doctor, too?

Cop: Nope. I'm the head of our Baby Protection Squad,, praise Jesus. Just need a little information. You all wouldn't be going to cross into New Mexico to kill that precious life in her womb, would ya?

Driver: No, sir, officer. Nothing like that at all.

Cop: Might I inquire about what is the reason for y'all traveling at 3 a.m., then?

Driver: I don't know if I should tell you...

Cop: Come on, man, spit it out!

Driver: Well, to tell the truth we're going to score some meth from my cousin. Old goofy over there in the passenger seat doesn't normally smoke meth, but every time she gets pregnant she's just high as a bird the whole time. Crazy, right?

Cop: You mean to tell me you're taking a pregnant woman to acquire and consume illegal substances?

Driver: Yep, Scout's honor, officer.

Cop: Well, OK, guess you can be on your way. Y'all drive careful, now.

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It’ll be more like:

Cop: I noticed that one of people in this car is in possession of a uterus. I’ll need to verify that she isn’t pregnant before I can allow you to access this public highway. Ma’am, I’ll need you to out of the car and pee on this stick.

Driver: No need. She is pregnant. We’ll admit to that.

Cop: Oh well, are you heading out of state for an abortion?

Driver: No, we’re heading out of state for her prenatal checkup because there aren’t any OB/GYNs left in this state.

Cop: okay. Just remember that you’ll have to confirm that she is still pregnant when you come back this way. And I will have to insist she pee on the stick then.

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Not to step on your joke or anything, but it's less likely for someone getting an abortion to look pregnant unless something has gone horribly wrong. I can speak from experience on this; I had to switch to maternity clothes by ten weeks or so, but even I didn't look pregnant for some time after that.

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Another possible explanation is she is going to see an obstetrician in another state because she can't get an appointment for one in her state for ten months.

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sorry Robyn, nothing horrible stays a joke for long around republicans.

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I do not want to hear any comments about how our birthrate has gone down. Ya'hear? Not one, until you stop the war on women and children. And yes, the United States of America is largely misogynist, doesn't know diddly-squat about female biology and how difficult it is to get through a pregnancy of nine months without something going wrong. It is like biology is an elective in life, and the perils of pregnancy are considered some kind of myth women dream up to to avoid having sex - like (oh gross! /s) sex during the monthly period. Of all the things to be dangerously stupid about, this takes the cake. And here I thought procreation was something to be a good thing in life. Moral of the story. Do not get pregnant until this war is over. These so-called Pro-Life people are out to make you pay with your lives for having children. (And lord help you if you have a miscarriage or other life-threatening pregnancy issue). Believe me they want you dead if YOUR body doesn't do what THEY tell it to do.

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This is going to kill people that can get pregnant. I am quite upset about this however, black women have been dying from all sorts of pregnancy related complications at about 3x more than white women before the fall of Roe. More black women will die. There’s an empathy gap when it comes to dead black women so more dead white women might motivate whites women to care more about their own health and black women may benefit from their self interest and get better care and access as well after all the dying of course.

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People why do we need doctors? Women have been birthing babies on their own for thousands of years and nothing ever goes wrong (do I really have to use that sarcasm thingy?)

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I wish I could force republicans in office to go to any cemetery that's over 100 years old and count all the dead babies and women under 50.

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Why do you want them to have such a good time?

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Let's have a contest: Somebody look and post all the things that go wrong in pregnancy I will start with domestic abuse. After 15 weeks , there are 225 days to go - that is a long time hoping something doesn't go wrong. Let's have a list. Too many people have no clue what pregnant women face in the time it takes to give birth to a BABY. Before that, the tissue and the developing fetus is NOT a baby.

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I told my daughter, "When the doctor asks you the date of your last period - and they always do, even if you're past menopause - just tell them it was 2 weeks ago." She said, "I always said that anyway!"

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"County Commissioner Eric Silhan introduced the ordinance to the county’s governing body, saying it’s a way to stand for “the people who can’t speak for themselves.” Maybe. But women who can't speak for themselves because their rights have been stripped is cool, right?

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Always a good day when a Proud Boy gets arrested.

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BBQ manchops it is!

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𝐌𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐮𝐩𝐚𝐜 𝐒𝐡𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧 𝟏𝟗𝟗𝟔

https://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-66965766

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So, angry men whose girlfriends or wives, or even daughters, flee to get abortions rather than risk being further trapped in bad situations, can call the cops in Cochran County, tell them to look for whatever type of vehicle, and have the person helping them arrested, and their pregnant property returned to them? Is that correct?

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What if you drive yourself?

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You have to have an escort for procedures done under anesthesia. But you certainly could drive yourself to get pills. I guess that means they’d have to treat them as a 1-person team of co-conspirators?

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it's just like the hundreds-strong pack who attacked the Capitol on 1/6 were lone wolves

republican equivalency at its finest.

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Yep.

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That dinner ain't cooking itself!

/s

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interesting how these people claim the moral high ground.

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You mean the small government people?

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Sep 29, 2023
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pathos vs ethos

I hate it.

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Sep 29, 2023
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pampering the grown babbies is getting old.

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Anti-abortion groups are always demanding things... and they “hereby declare” a lot too.

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Keeping "Demented Screeds Are Us" in business...

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they're loud and well funded. capitalism needs chattel.

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Texas is already one of the leading states in terms of maternal and infant mortality.

this hasn't been a joke in a long time.

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