From Joanie: Cartoons for New Children, by G.B. Trudeau. Sheed and Ward, 1974. (VERY 1974) Hey there, Donna Rose. We're awfully happy you're here. Like any number of Wonkette staff, you were just a tiny bit behind deadline, but close enough, and thank Crom you didn't churn out 1200 words that needed to be edited down to something more manageable. In fact, you're perfect -- no revisions needed. Once we slap a really SEO-refined headline on you, you'll be ready to go. And sorry, but we'll probably have to slot you in after some stupid 2016 presidential candidate whose name will be too obscure even for trivia games by the time you're old enough to vote.
Congrat's and welcome to the rollercoaster ride called parenthood.I love the Rose touch. My grande duaghter shares the same middle name.Enjoy all the seconds, minutes, days, months and years to come.RAman Donna Rose.
A cruel thing happened to the mother of our Laura on the day she was born. She'd had a C-section and little Laura, well, in the first minute of her life she did something she has never done since: she failed a test. In this case it was her APGAR (I mean, WHAT THE FUCK AMIRITE, all you have to do is breathe and move your eyes a little for Chrissakes) so being an APGAR-failing preemie it was off to neonatal intensive care and an incubator for her. She emerged four hours later the most pink, beautiful little thing I had ever seen and I said, "That kid is healthy as a horse." I just knew it but they kept her in there for 9 days nonetheless. And I was the neo-natal asshole who--since the sign outside the room where the babies were kept ordered everyone to "Wash your hands (they had these little scrubbers made for the job) for 9 minutes" and there was even a timer--would call out the other mothers if they only washed their hands for 8. Or for 8 and a half. As for my poor wife she was in post op on a different floor and had only barely seen Laura for a moment or two before she was whisked away and I'd come to her room at least once an hour that day to tell her about her little baby girl and because I would say things like, "SHE'S SO BEAUTIFUL YOU SHOULD SEE HER LITTLE HANDS THEY ARE JUST LIKE YOURS EXCEPT THEY ARE SO TINY AND SHE HAS THE CUTEST LITTLE FEET AND I THINKED SHE SMILED AT ME AND HER EYES ARE BLUE AND DID I MENTION HOW BEAUTIFUL SHE IS?" and because she had never heard me speak for so long using pause and punctuation-free syntax and because she'd never seen me so excited, seen me in such A STATE, all I managed to do was convince her that her baby was actually the victim of some horrible unspoken deformity which I, as evidenced by my behavior, was clearly trying to keep from her by covering up. She finally got to see her baby the next morning and it was only then that she knew every word of what I had said was true. I told her, "I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but I have never seen anything I love as much as I love that little girl." She replied, "I feel the same way," and we both knew exactly what the other meant. And still today, 21 years ago and month or so ago to the day in fact, we still feel that way. And letting her off a block or two away from school or from a friends house? It doesn't hurt nearly as much as you think it might. It is in fact, like everything single thing they do, it turns out it's cute as hell. Godspeed and good luck you new family, you! This is the greatest blessing the world has to bestow.
That is the coolest name I've heard in a long time.
AWWWWWW,
congrats rebecca
Don't mention the germans!
Oh, and Willkommen im Leben, Donna Rose.
Congratulations!
They aren't. But that doesn't stop the intrepid ones.
It is, not to worry. I'm 60 y.o. and have never found a suitable substitute.
... penis rocks? Like, kidney stones?
Congrat's and welcome to the rollercoaster ride called parenthood.I love the Rose touch. My grande duaghter shares the same middle name.Enjoy all the seconds, minutes, days, months and years to come.RAman Donna Rose.
A cruel thing happened to the mother of our Laura on the day she was born. She'd had a C-section and little Laura, well, in the first minute of her life she did something she has never done since: she failed a test. In this case it was her APGAR (I mean, WHAT THE FUCK AMIRITE, all you have to do is breathe and move your eyes a little for Chrissakes) so being an APGAR-failing preemie it was off to neonatal intensive care and an incubator for her. She emerged four hours later the most pink, beautiful little thing I had ever seen and I said, "That kid is healthy as a horse." I just knew it but they kept her in there for 9 days nonetheless. And I was the neo-natal asshole who--since the sign outside the room where the babies were kept ordered everyone to "Wash your hands (they had these little scrubbers made for the job) for 9 minutes" and there was even a timer--would call out the other mothers if they only washed their hands for 8. Or for 8 and a half. As for my poor wife she was in post op on a different floor and had only barely seen Laura for a moment or two before she was whisked away and I'd come to her room at least once an hour that day to tell her about her little baby girl and because I would say things like, "SHE'S SO BEAUTIFUL YOU SHOULD SEE HER LITTLE HANDS THEY ARE JUST LIKE YOURS EXCEPT THEY ARE SO TINY AND SHE HAS THE CUTEST LITTLE FEET AND I THINKED SHE SMILED AT ME AND HER EYES ARE BLUE AND DID I MENTION HOW BEAUTIFUL SHE IS?" and because she had never heard me speak for so long using pause and punctuation-free syntax and because she'd never seen me so excited, seen me in such A STATE, all I managed to do was convince her that her baby was actually the victim of some horrible unspoken deformity which I, as evidenced by my behavior, was clearly trying to keep from her by covering up. She finally got to see her baby the next morning and it was only then that she knew every word of what I had said was true. I told her, "I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but I have never seen anything I love as much as I love that little girl." She replied, "I feel the same way," and we both knew exactly what the other meant. And still today, 21 years ago and month or so ago to the day in fact, we still feel that way. And letting her off a block or two away from school or from a friends house? It doesn't hurt nearly as much as you think it might. It is in fact, like everything single thing they do, it turns out it's cute as hell. Godspeed and good luck you new family, you! This is the greatest blessing the world has to bestow.
Dok Zoom remains my hero with another K.V. reference, another one of my favorite writer people.
Well I've always had a deep respect and I mean that most sincerely. The pics are just fantastic, that is really what I think.
Neil Degrasse Tyson Startalk reference?
???
Heh, someone yelled at me for posting exactly that earlier. I hope you are spared.
I'd think it would be tough to get a cat to wear a bra at all, much less one with a cabbage leaf in it.
Cheap labor?