Bryan Fischer at the American Family Association's blog has heard about this situation with the family that didn't pay their $75 annual fee to be rescued from dying in a house fire, and he has thankfully decided for us What Would Jesus Have Done. Jesus would have shown compassion, right? Haha, no, do you think Jesus was a
Let us not forget the <a href="http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch\?v=DAd6gerQoAc&amp\;feature=fvst" target="_blank">Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch</a>.
While reading the article (which required me to cut and paste the black script on black background to my wordpad, to overcome the rank stupidity of the AFA website designer) I was struck by how the words of Jesus get twisted to fit Mr. Fischer&#039;s interpretation, followed by a warning to all of us that we may want to <i>be careful</i> about disagreeing with him, because, you know, it&#039;s Jesus and he&#039;s a sick MoFo when it comes to retribution time. But isn&#039;t that what popes, priests and inquisitors have done for years?
<i>&quot;...like sticking his hand up the butts of dead guys and saying &quot;look, look he&#039;s totally not dead anymore&quot;...&quot;</i>
You have made my trip to Wonkette this morning worth it, for like the next several weeks with that one snippet from your comment.
So the &quot;weakened, feminized version of Christianity&quot; is anything Jesus would have <i>actually</i> done. And the macho version of Christianity is anything these chest-beating pea brains want to pull out of their ass. Got it.
So I guess there was no way to collect the $75 AFTER saving their house, because Jesus does all his arson with <i>tough love</i>.
Tough, painful, brutal, bruising, hot yet totally not romantic love, but also not gay, at all. Honest. Because of the black hole of inescapable circular Macho Christian logic.
I refuse to believe this really happened. My brain refuses to accept it.
jesus christ.
Let us not forget the <a href="http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch\?v=DAd6gerQoAc&amp\;feature=fvst" target="_blank">Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch</a>.
Reminds me of an old Fundie tract -- &quot;Jesus had short hair.&quot;
Me and the cool Goth kids follow the Vampire Jesus, Who shed His blood for you and now WANTS IT BACK!
While reading the article (which required me to cut and paste the black script on black background to my wordpad, to overcome the rank stupidity of the AFA website designer) I was struck by how the words of Jesus get twisted to fit Mr. Fischer&#039;s interpretation, followed by a warning to all of us that we may want to <i>be careful</i> about disagreeing with him, because, you know, it&#039;s Jesus and he&#039;s a sick MoFo when it comes to retribution time. But isn&#039;t that what popes, priests and inquisitors have done for years?
<i>&quot;...like sticking his hand up the butts of dead guys and saying &quot;look, look he&#039;s totally not dead anymore&quot;...&quot;</i>
You have made my trip to Wonkette this morning worth it, for like the next several weeks with that one snippet from your comment.
Their Jesus kind of sucks. I like the South Park one better.
So the &quot;weakened, feminized version of Christianity&quot; is anything Jesus would have <i>actually</i> done. And the macho version of Christianity is anything these chest-beating pea brains want to pull out of their ass. Got it.
Jesus: Where dem five bitches at?
Others at the party: They went to get limes and tequila, because they ran out.
Jesus: Well fuck that! Sergio lock that door! I don&#039;t even know dem bitches, yo.
You see how the parable could be read to illustrate that a man&#039;s house should be allowed to burn to the ground? Right. Me neither.
So I guess there was no way to collect the $75 AFTER saving their house, because Jesus does all his arson with <i>tough love</i>.
Tough, painful, brutal, bruising, hot yet totally not romantic love, but also not gay, at all. Honest. Because of the black hole of inescapable circular Macho Christian logic.
I was an atheistic until 30 seconds ago, when I heard Jesus vomiting profusely.
Jesus wept.