Afflict The Comfortable. Comfort The Afflicted. Tabs, Fri., Jan. 30, 2026
Morning news roundup and things to read!
Good morning! The economy’s rotten, and many among our stalwart supporters are having to cancel their subscriptions, for which no one should ever feel bad. But we have no ads and never have a paywall, which leads to periodic attacks of ACK HELP I’m pulling payroll out of my savings again! IF you are holding and you haven’t gotten around to upgrading your subscription to paid, and you think we’re a good investment IN THE EARTH and AMERICA, please consider sending some filthy money our way! Be the change etc! With money!
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Now on to today’s terrible news!
Well, they certainly do seem to be coming for the elections! First of course Trump’s FBI just seized all the 2020 ballots (they don’t seem to have seized the machines, yet) from Fulton County, Georgia. Five-alarm democracy fire, says Jay Kuo. (Status Kuo) Now North Carolina’s board of elections, which is now run by a partisan GOP operative, is running up the flagpole “flagging” “presumptive noncitizens” and disenrolling them. Gosh I hope they don’t work off bad, shitty lists full of the wrong Juan Ramirezes. They would never, right? (Democracy Docket)
Is there any violent incident ICE hasn’t lied about? (Reuters) Marimar Martinez’s charges were dropped, and yet she’s still described as a “domestic terrorist” on DHS’s website. She would like the judge to permit her to release evidence of NUH FUCKIN UH. (Chicago Sun-Times)
Minnesota judge tells DHS to release 100 refugees and go get the refugees it lawlessly sent to Texas, and to stop doing that. (Order)
Alex Pretti’s family has retained the lawyer who helped prosecute George Floyd’s killer, Derek Chauvin. Good. (PBS)
Sean Grayson, the Illinois cop who shot Sonya Massey to death in her home, got sentenced to 20 years. Good. (CNN)
This new CBS News medical expert who doesn’t believe in germ theory seems like a very great Bari Weiss hire.
Among the new hires at CBS announced by Bari Weiss is a doctor who has claimed that he has reduced his biological age by 20 years with therapies including cold plunges; that cod liver oil can treat autism and that conditions like Alzheimer’s and dementia can be reversed with the kind of nutritional supplements he also sells on his online store.
Megs McCabe A Idiot, Again. (SER at The Play Typer Guy)
A murder of domestic terrorist crows :) (Futurist)
This Oakland, California, police sergeant works SO HARD and is SO DEDICATED that he sometimes does 23 hours of overtime in a single day! (Oaklandside)
David Brooks is getting yet another undoubtedly magnificently remunerated Yale gig, to “bridge the academy with society at large.” Which makes this tab I’ve been hoarding for ages shiny and new again! Sasha Issenberg’s glorious 2004 Philly mag takedown of Brooks’s whole fake fact-free vibes-only journalism. Enjoy! (Philly)
WOOF, Washington Post, WOOF. Inside Jeff Bezos’s complete enfuckening of the legendary paper, each graf worse than the last. Good lord I’m glad we have Wonkette. (New York mag)
Furry Caterwauling and Uncle Milburn will hold a mini memorial for our friend Katy/Woman in the Persistence/Woman Coming Home on the Friday Wonkzoom, which you can find at literally wonkzoom.com. Tonight, 9 p.m. Eastern/6 p.m. Pacific.
Saturday night, join your friend ZiggyWiggy for this week’s movie, Labyrinth. Available with subscription on Hulu, Disney+, Netflix, and Peacock. Free with ads on YouTube, Tubi, Plex, Pluto TV, and The Roku Channel. $3.99 in the usual places.
All Wonkette posts are free, always. Feel free to
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It’s Veronika, the tool-using cow! Find out more here: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/cow-tools
And your meme chat: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/37a05bfc-b622-4014-9245-7c5ea9586d8c?utm_source=share
Donating blood at 11am, how many glasses of water can I drink in the next couple of hours, I am at 2 so far. I will take my anti-anxiety medication so my pulse is not too high. I will have a good breakfast of eggs, avocado and goat cheese, and a friend is driving me to and from the donation. Thanks friend!