527 Comments
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Hamilton & The Crew 👉NO👑S👈's avatar

I'm sure that Loki thinks that all of this shit is hilarious albeit tedious.

Our_Man_In_Redneckistan's avatar

OT: The new Motorola Razr foldable phone costs fucking $1,900. Just fuck you, techbros.

Jamoche's avatar

My Catholic choir director doesn’t even send out letters like that.

IMPOed's avatar

I'm very important to god... Zeus?

Thesaurus Wrecks's avatar

Honestly, I hope every single person that lost sleep over Hunter Biden’s paintings gets kicked in the ding dong by a rabid donkey.

Hank Napkin's avatar

PAY PER SAY

Trump to monetize all articles, news, broadcast, podcast, print and media that includes word "Trump".

gallbladder's avatar

Alright: Let's just call him "fuckface" from hereon out and see how he likes that!

Nancy Naive's avatar

Well, that’ll trump the 1st Amendment.

schmannity's avatar

Gulf states that bankrolled Trump's son-in-law are now furious they got burned: report

Qatar, Saudi Arabia, and the UAE funneled enormous sums into Affinity Partners, Kushner's Florida-based investment vehicle, in hopes of securing White House influence and healthy portfolio returns, the outlet reported. Instead, Trump launched a war on Iran that all three states had opposed, leaving them with little to show for the arrangement.

The Qataris in particular had pressed the Trump administration to steer clear of an all-out war with Iran, Bloomberg reported. Trump went forward anyway, and Kushner's handling of the conflict has become a sore point for officials in Riyadh and Doha.

https://www.rawstory.com/jared-kushner-2676896338/

Bring out the bone saws.

gallbladder's avatar

You and Prometheus just pulled off a mind meld for the ages.

Nancy Naive's avatar

You can throw me in the mix. I suggest that Jared might get an invite to the Saudi embassy in Istanbul a couple of days ago.

Prometheus59650's avatar

𝐆𝐮𝐥𝐟 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐦𝐩'𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐧-𝐢𝐧-𝐥𝐚𝐰 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐟𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐝: 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭

Would be a terrible shame if his limbs ended up in different places.

RefillingThorsBeer's avatar

scattered to the four winds....

gallbladder's avatar

How many Trump T1 phones did 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 pre-order?

vorpal 86...47...ʰᵘᵗ ʰᵘᵗ ʰᵘᵗ's avatar

never wise to piss of people who use bonesaws...

Manic Pixel Dream Girl's avatar

I think Rollins should shove her inappropriate proselytizing emails up you know where along with her chicken breast, broccoli, tortilla and one other thing.

gallbladder's avatar

I must admit to a certain level of curiosity about the "one other thing."

vorpal 86...47...ʰᵘᵗ ʰᵘᵗ ʰᵘᵗ's avatar

*Colombo half turns and looks over his shoulder casually holding his candela*

Nigel R. Toppinglift, III's avatar

I’m going to start signing my emails with “Yours in Christ” as in:

You are a categorical dipshit who brightens a room by leaving it. In conclusion, you deserve to be smacked repeatedly with an unwashed dildo.

Yours in Christ,

Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

Hamilton & The Crew 👉NO👑S👈's avatar

Another thing: If you don't have an unwashed dildo, substitute an unwashed frozen eggplant. {{{takes another hit}}}

TiaLoca's avatar

*squints*

You live in the valley of the sun, don’t you?

Hamilton & The Crew 👉NO👑S👈's avatar

In Phoenix on-and-off (mostly on) since 1990.

Our_Man_In_Redneckistan's avatar

Don’t think I wasn’t sending those emails five minutes after everyone got email.

Our_Man_In_Redneckistan's avatar

Most people chose different words.

Mavenmaven's avatar

those like her get the theocracy of their dreams.

Which will be fun for them for about a week until someone with differing denominational beliefs comes to power, as is usually the case, and off to the FEMA camps for them, too!

TerseNurse's avatar

Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, eh?

Throw another heretic in the van, Jocko!

Hamilton & The Crew 👉NO👑S👈's avatar

As like many many teenagers who studied military history, while daydreaming, comes up with "Operation Sledgehammer" and thought that that would be cool for a moment before a new daydream appears.

It's almost like this whole Iran War Clusterfuck is being run by dumb teenagers.

Chemical's avatar

Since I'm in Texas: Operation Sledgehammer obviously means they bombed Iran with Jim Adler

SkeptiKC's avatar

Well, the term "adolescent" has been articulated more than once in that context.

Chemical's avatar

The thing about Texas is if you turn on the TV and watch it for maybe 20 minutes or so, you're going to see this guy come on and he's going to hit a semi truck with a sledgehammer. That's Jim Adler, the Texas Hammer. Now, since I'm not originally from Texas I immediately thought "Oh this man is clearly insane" but apparently he's a lawyer.

His son is also a lawyer and started appearing in the commercials more recently.

CzechJournalists's avatar

also tom delay, though he's fallen off of a lot of peoples radar since he last danced with the stars.

ManchuCandidate's avatar

Who played RISK and thought that made them the grand strategist of strategery (sic.)

CzechJournalists's avatar

infinite infantry troops in Ukraine is still a winning strategy. wait, maybe that was Axis and Allies. . . anyway, neither of those games had drones.

Hamilton & The Crew 👉NO👑S👈's avatar

Well, I did. Back in high skull.

42tontom's avatar

I drew the cybertruck on my Big Chief tablet when I was 9.

True story

EyeQueue's avatar

I still remember a very, very vivid dream from which I woke up SUPER FUCKING EXCITED!!!!! when I was like 5 or 6. In like 1976 or 77.

It was about how I invented a self-driving car. And it involved this whole complicated map apparatus thing that was like laying across the front seat in a "control panel" type thing where a pencil in a holder would trace the route on the map and at the same time the car would be driving that route.

Super, super fucking vivid. The car looked kind of like a Model T and I think it was b/c we probably went to Legend City around that time (used to be an amusement park here in Phoenix) that had cars that looked like that that you could "drive" around the track kind of like the ones at Disneyland.

CzechJournalists's avatar

tried my damnedest best to jump those Disney cars off the track at both parks.

Wokey McWokeface's avatar

Eugene Sledge libel also too.

Our_Man_In_Redneckistan's avatar

Rustic Overtones do a cover of Sledgehammer that’s just amazing.

zuludaddy (seam & key)'s avatar

that *was* a fun video in its day

Hamilton & The Crew 👉NO👑S👈's avatar

I tripped over a coffee table dancing to that but I got better.

The coffee table was a total loss.

gallbladder's avatar

The rotating multi-faced doll head was absolutely unnerving.

gallbladder's avatar

Still a great song, though.

Martin Shobe's avatar

Dumb teenagers libelz.

gallbladder's avatar

You may want to sit down...

Kateorite's avatar

But not in that chair! They put superglue on the fart cushion.

Hamilton & The Crew 👉NO👑S👈's avatar

{{{PfhBANG!!}}}

"But don't put too much glue on it."

gallbladder's avatar

I also filled it with chocolate pudding. [tee-hee!]

Maureen's avatar

You sick bastard

gallbladder's avatar

Well, someone had to.

Maureen's avatar

And we have to take advantage of those open doors.

Hamilton & The Crew 👉NO👑S👈's avatar

Bill Cosby can appreciate that.

Bel-Ami's avatar

Just wait until it gets up to the Dominionists on SCOTUS. Then we will find that proselytizing to your employees is totally what the Framers had in mind and not unconstitutional at all.

Our_Man_In_Redneckistan's avatar

Cue the flying produce!

Menotsure's avatar

Border Patrol Chief Michael Banks announced his resignation in, of all places, a Fox News interview. It appears that rats on ships stop shitting Hanta virus and jump off once the ship starts sinking.

schmannity's avatar

People are so judgmental about hiring prostitutes

Our_Man_In_Redneckistan's avatar

It’s like they’ve never met even one married Secret Service agent.

Enter Ranting's avatar

Someone needs to send Brooke an email wishing her a Happy Hexennacht. See how she likes it.

Prostate of Dorian Gray's avatar

On a side note, I've fixed the chicken coop door, repaired a table, and cleaned the kitchen. A JRPG and a new sativa pen is a good rest of my afternoon.

Smoke O'Possum's avatar

All on your birthday?!?

Whippersnapper.

Prostate of Dorian Gray's avatar

Well, my birthday was last Friday.