421 Comments
User's avatar
Ron Spangler's avatar

Nobody cares, Dersh, and I'm not reading past the headline. You've been over for a long time. Deal with it.

Lionel “8647” Hutz's avatar

"The Democratic Party has become the most anti-Israel party in U.S. history. Last week all but seven Senate Democrats voted for an arms embargo against the Jewish state,"

Was it Kanye or Nick Fuentes that told him that while he was eating with them and the proven rapist Trump at Mar a Largo?

And why hasn't Trump set up a time for Dersh to do his poetry readings or interpreted dance or whatever he wants to do at Martha's Vineyard at Mar a Largo? Or is the club restricted?

Henry30's avatar

Was Dershowitz ever someone who could be called a Democrat?

Rhand Holm's avatar

I heard Alan Dershowitz's haberdasher just measured his head. Fit and style are very important for making an impression. Wouldn't want a loose-fitting face-eating-leopard.

gallbladder's avatar

I mean, imagine the humiliation he'd suffer.

Ari Chase-Ramos's avatar

"Did you see? Jeffrey Epstein's client list was released!"

"Nope, that's just the Republican Party member rolls."

Runfastandwin's avatar

Douche needs to fuck the wsj IN HIS UNDERPANTS…

Hooker P Tape skipping dipshit's avatar

Republicans are the pedophile protecting party of the Epstein class, so this makes sense and should be a good fit for Dersh.

Sherry's avatar
34mEdited

Alan: That's IT! You guys ain't playing fair..I'm taking my ball and going home.

Hey, Douchewitz, that's OUR ball.

I have a little story about Alan. When I lived in NYC I was out to dinner with my friend Tony. We were actors together. He had just seen "Reversal of Fortune" and Tony was doing his Jeremy Irons impersonation. Douche was also there and, while he was not all those close by, heard him. Got up from his table to introduce himself. Neither of us stood up or shook his hand that I recall. But, it is obvious in hindsight, that being famous is all he cared about. He's not revered or known for any spectacular cases and he cannot stand that.

Hooker P Tape skipping dipshit's avatar

I think he helped get OJ off.

BillEGoatSmile's avatar

Dude, I don't know if you live in MA year round, but if you do, best of luck voting for Republicans. LOL

Rhand Holm's avatar

Alan Dershowitz is really missing an opportunity. Alan Dershowitz should run for congress in the Alan Dershowitz Party. Alan Dershowitz is an immensely popular thought leader with dozens of followers.* Alan Dershowitz gives his whole hearted support to Alan Dershowitz for Congress.

* According to Alan Dershowitz

OrdinaryJoe's avatar

SAYONARA Pedofessor Dersh.

gallbladder's avatar

What will we 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 do without you?!

Granny's Delusions of Grandeur's avatar

You'd probably start wearing pants and allowing comments.

gallbladder's avatar

No to the comments and 𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘭𝘺 no to the pants. What are we here, a bunch of godless heathens?

Granny's Delusions of Grandeur's avatar

If we're not, I seem to have come to the wrong party. How embarrassing.

zuludaddy (seam & key)'s avatar

pass the pierogi platter, please?

gallbladder's avatar

[passes platter along with high-test sour cream, onions, and fried kielbasa]

YaJagoff's avatar

As gross as it may sound, long ago, mohels (people who performed circumcisions) would sometimes keep and save the foreskins they circumcised. And grosser still is the fact that sometimes they would sew them together to make things. And once, a long time ago there was a mohel who performed more circumcisions than all other mohels. And one day he was talking to a friend of his and the friend asked, "You've performed so many circumcisions, have you made anything from the foreskins?" And the mohel said that yes, he had made a wallet from all the foreskins he had collected. The friend said, "You've circumsised so many children, you must have collected dozens of foreskins, and all you have made is a wallet?" And the mohel replied, "I know it's just a wallet. But when you rub it, it turns into a briefcase."

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/ethnicjokes/jewishjokes/moheljokes.html

Kate Stoneman's avatar

Yeah, this is a "joke", this doesn't actually happen.

I checked other "Jewish jokes" in that link. Standard don't-call-it-antisemitic drivel. Jews love money, jews love money, Jews love money, Jewish women don't like to fuck, Jews love money, Jews do gross stuff with penises.

Six ... seven people have up voted this shit. Jesus fucking Christ.

Runfastandwin's avatar

Don’t forget to tip your waitress…

weejee's avatar

And so many clean cut Jewish lads.

Rhand Holm's avatar

So he's switching parties due to his loyalty to another country? Maybe he should emigrate to Israel. I bet Netanyahu could use another toady. They might even let him in a library.

Chuck Dickens's avatar

When it comes out next year that Dersh rubbed his dingus on a Russian prostitute during Lolita Island Party Weekend, Fox News will proclaim “he was a democrat at the time!”

TootsStansbury 🇺🇦's avatar

Alan Derpshowitz is the David Brooks of stupid, out of touch posers.