Alex Jones's Tree Of Liberty Being Watered By So Many Gay Frogs Right Now
BYE FELICIA BYE!
Breaking news about the death of the free press and the First Amendment and America itself. Or, you know, the opposite of all that.
It appears conspiracy jackhole Alex Jones is finally getting the free market treatment he so richly deserves, because everybody and their mom is deleting his podcasts and videos and pages from their internets. Even Facebook!
BuzzFeed reports on the tyranny being inflicted upon the the Alex Jones Gay Frog TV Show, where he does funny routines about how Barack Obama is creating an army of Illuminati Beyoncés to take over the world, and also how literally every mass shooting is a false flag event put on by crisis actors in order to TAKE YER GUNS -- even Sandy Hook, where all those tiny children were murdered, which is why all those children's parents are suing the fuck out of Alex Jones. Oh yeah, and didn't Jones just threaten to murder special counsel Robert Mueller or something? HE DID.
Apple has removed the entire library for five of Infowars' six podcasts from its iTunes and Podcasts apps, BuzzFeed News has learned. Among the podcasts, which were removed from Apple's iTunes directory, are the show War Room and the popular Alex Jones Show podcast, which is hosted daily by the prominent conspiracy theorist.
Following the move, Spotify and Facebook have also acted to remove content made by Jones.
Oh no! Why are they trampling on Alex Jones's free speech like that? Hahaha, just kidding, none of those companies are the government and they can do whatever the fuck they want. The Daily Beast reports that YouTube has just become the latest company to ban all Jones's shit, so we guess it's DELETE ALEX JONES WEEK.
His shit is gone from the iTunes and Podcasts apps, Spotify hit the "fuck you" button on everything Jones has ever said, and Facebook is just cold deleting the pages for all Jones's stuff, which is quite a bit bolder than what we saw last week, when Facebook really showed Jones who's boss, by deleting ... four of his videos, we think? Because Alex Jones has only incited hatred four times, obviously? Spotify was also being a giant wuss, until Apple decided to put a stop to this shit.
Facebook explains how it decided to stop worrying and grow a dick:
Since [last week], more content from the same Pages has been reported to us — upon review, we have taken it down for glorifying violence, which violates our graphic violence policy, and using dehumanizing language to describe people who are transgender, Muslims and immigrants, which violates our hate speech policies.
Oh, well then, sounds good to us. (To be fair, it is possible Wonkette is reacting that way because we are still FULL OF THE SHAMES from that time Alex Jones said Wonkette is "fake news.")
In response, Alex Jones took to Twitter/Periscope to bitch a lot:
🌐 World Exclusive: Alex Jones Responds To Being Banned On The Internet 🚫 📡Tune in M-F 11am-3pm central at:… https://t.co/tXkutdFTNe
— Alex Jones (@Alex Jones) 1533572040.0
At least Twitter is still godawful and will probably let Alex Jones keep spewing hatred. That's how Twitter works, right?
This is all terrible news for Ted Cruz, because everything is bad news for Ted Cruz right now. (OH HEY, SEXY "BAD NEWS" BETO O'ROURKE, YOU BEIN' BAD TO TED CRUZ, WITH POLL NUMBERS? WE LIKE IT WHEN YOU'RE BAD.)
Cruz was upset last week when Facebook started very selectively deleting Alex Jones videos, noting that he has made peace with the man who always says his own father murdered JFK with his bare hands (he meant Jones -- he made peace with Donald Trump saying that AGES ago, and also the stuff Trump said about how Ted Cruz's wife came from the ugliest branch on the ugly tree):
Am no fan of Jones — among other things he has a habit of repeatedly slandering my Dad by falsely and absurdly accu… https: //t.co/TJV7gCmCUo
— Ted Cruz (@Ted Cruz) 1532786711.0
This weekend, during a press gaggle, Cruz, who has lately been on a warpath defending crazed lunatics from being "shadow-banned" from the entire internet, expanded on his Alex Jones feelings with SO MANY WORDS. If you want to read them all, you'll have to hit this link, but here's a snippet:
There used to be a time when reporters were big supporters of the First Amendment. And you know as the poem goes, 'First they came for Alex Jones…
That doesn't end well.
First they came for Alex Jones, and Wonkette did nothing because we were too busy wondering how do we sign up to be one of the 10 guys Barack Obama bangs per day on the taxpayer dime, according to Alex Jones. After that, nothing else happened because Alex Jones is not a fucking journalist, he's a hate-inciting troll conspiracy theorist on the crusty taint crevice of humanity, and all these tech companies can do whatever the fuck they want, so fuck you and your stupid face, Ted Cruz.
To commemorate the end of Alex Jones's career and hence his only source of self-worth, let's do a YouTube round-up of all our favorite Alex Jones moments over the years HAHA JUST KIDDING BECAUSE ALEX JONES AIN'T GOT NO YOUTUBES.
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT NOW, DO IT RIGHT NOW!
Help Wonkette LIVE FOREVER! Seriously, if you can, please hit the tip jar below and make a donation of MONEY. Or click this link to become a monthly subscriber!
I didn't write The Raven if that's what you're asking.
Totally off-topic, but...I love the juxtaposition of user names in this comment.