224 Comments

I'm ready to see this guy get knocked the fuck out Richard Spencer-style. I know violence isn't the answer, but it would be so satisfying to watch on repeat play. Spit flying everywhere.

Expand full comment

As for the rest of it: Is Alex Jones a Chia Pet?

Expand full comment

the thing about helmets is unhelpful. One of my good friends' sons is in that category, and I trust and care more about him than I do the Info Wars set.

Expand full comment

All those lazybones didn't help the little red hen and you know what happened to those slackers. Same thing here. Oh, and fk you and that limo you rode in on--it doesn't fit in the drive-thru lane at McBarf? So, do they deliver Sir Paranoidpants' burgers in a Pinto, or is there a standing order for some lackey to brave the hoards of haters and grab the freak his greasy non-poisonous Safe Burger? I suppose anyone would volunteer to get away from the lunatic.

Expand full comment

I've yet to try the awfulness. It looks sugary & fruity and yecccccch.

Expand full comment

I think we can ask those same questions about Stephen Miller, especially Why NOT, Mrs. Miller? WHY NOT????

Expand full comment

So Jones, in all his manly sartorial splendor, is really providing some suggestions for his rage monkeys to act on. Not surprising since most of them spend an inordinate amount of thinkin' time trying to figure out how to put on a grease stained t-shirt. And, Evan, just for you...hey, Jones, et al, go fuck yourselves, with all due civility, of course.

Expand full comment

Yes - she was "well aware", as you point out. And, had she had any class whatsoever, she would simply have kept quiet about this entire incident, recognizing that stuff like this "comes with the territory", and that if you, of your own free will, choose to be the mouthpiece of as foul an administration as THIS one is, then there are going to be consequences.

Expand full comment

"Congresswoman Maxine Waters, an extraordinarily low IQ person..." Somebody's been reading "The Dumbbell Curve."

Expand full comment

No fear, I won't thwart you.

Expand full comment

I'm betting it's not just Zinfadel, she only drinks Arbor Mist.

Expand full comment

I DO THAT

Expand full comment

I'm not a Wisconsin badger. I got the name as a tot because of the short legs, vile temper, and streak of white (birthmark) in the brown hair. But yeah, for the vile temper. I would lose my English and revert to hideous growls when I was thwarted.

Expand full comment

As an alumni of the University of Wisconsin (Madison), I want you to know that you have my full support, and I hope you win the Rose Bowl, which is totally not a euphemism for "asshole".

Expand full comment

My nickname is Badger, since about the age of 4, and I would like to say that "eating directly off an angry badger's asshole" is a hurtful thing for me to read. First of all, what makes YOUR asshole so sparkly clean? Secondly, do not insult all of us with your description of badgers as angry. There is literally no other type of badger. Why are all of us badgers so angry?

Because YOU make fun of our assholes! Stop it! Stop it right now!

Expand full comment

Ahh, but one can also use the motor from a portable cd player to produce really high quality ink. Same hepatitis risk tho.

Expand full comment