All The Fuckery They Think They Can Get Past Us In Alabama

Hello Wonkette fans! I am here to regale you with tales of the breakdown of democracy, because I am going to tell you about all the instances of lines and improperly distributed provisional ballots and illegally strict ID requirements and general polling fuckery in the great state of Alabama today!

If you, while you are wandering around this here series of tubes, happen to run into any reports of election fuckery, we ask you let us know below so we can add it! We also warn you that reports are not the same as verified incidents and also that this post will basically just be me looking at Twitter and if I'm feeling daring Facebook (but probably not because I hate Facebook, you guys get on that kthx) so it's unlikely to be comprehensive. I'm a damn fine person to have in a boiler room but nobody's that good. (Somebody's that good. It's just not me.)

So, without delay, here is the first of a constantly* updated entry!

*constantly means when I find things and get back here. You're welcome.

In good news for Democracy, it really doesn't seem like there are a ton of systemic failures or suppression! It seems like a lot of mistakes and one police department saying to themselves "oh man you know where there will be many cars? ON THE WAY TO THE POLLS WHERE THE VOTE ABOUT THE MOLESTER GUY IS!" and realizing that volume means revenue. (We have absolutely no basis upon which to assert that excepting that police departments around the country are known for doing that kind of thing, particularly where there's a lot of black people, and so we assume! It is as reasonable as anything else!)

More provisionals

A friend of mine in Mobile Alabama went to vote at the same polling place she's voted for 3 years and they couldn't find her name... They made her fill out a provisional ballot which doesn't count in this election. #allvotesmatter 

— JT (@StepOff1) December 12, 2017 

Voter confusion isn't always necessarily suppression, but ain't social media an unmitigated good where you only ever find true things!

I called because there were facebook posts that needed clarity. The post implied if you bubbled BOTH, the party and candidate, your ballot was null. I find out, as long as you bubbled the candidate, your ballet was good to go, regardless. If anything changed, please notify me.

— pb (@PoliticalBeth) December 12, 2017 

Looking like Homewood, Alabama isn't the least weird place in the state today!

 #unhackthevote 
Homewood Alabama. Police ticketing people going to the polls. Delaying them up to an hour. Please Vote. Don't let anyone stop you. pic.twitter.com/gBiWCw8mea 

— MikeFarb (@mikefarb1) December 12, 2017 

Ken, there was one parked outside my polling station in Homewood, AL, and another one pulled up as I was outside with my dog waiting for my SO to finish voting. It was weird!

— Jessica Campbell (@JessicaIreneC) December 12, 2017 

OK, so if you'd heard about the deleting ballots thing, here's the ACLU on it:

To clarify, overturning this ruling means that the digital copies of the ballots will not be saved electronically. However, the paper ballots will still be preserved. https: //t.co/BmVj3fKcSu 

— ACLU of Alabama (@ACLUAlabama) December 12, 2017 

I needed to see this and maybe you did too!

All of these first-time voters are making me feel — dare I say it — hopeful about tonight #ALSen   https: //t.co/cSDA7Z11Cs   pic.twitter.com/5g445yghgl 

— Kira Lerner (@kira_lerner) December 12, 2017 

Here is an interesting fact! So once it's determined that provisionals might swing the outcome, you go into counting. That usually means that representatives of both campaign hover over some hapless elections board worker who's got a magnifying glass and is trying to match signatures. This is a fucked system, because most people don't know handwriting analysis and signatures change over time. Anyway, here's the other bit of truth behind the "provisionals aren't counted" belief: they are ruled as invalid at astronomical rates. Voters often are required to come into the board of elections to provide whatever proof they lacked at the polls, and if they don't BAM their vote isn't counted. Things like that.

For those wondering "will those provisional ballots count?" in #ALSen , here's what 2016 election data tells us:
Provisional ballots cast: 13,088
% Rejected: 46%

I'd love to tell you the breakdown on *why* they were rejected but AL unlike most states did not provide that data. ?

— #EndCrosscheck (@endcrosscheck) December 12, 2017 

I tried. Apparently I'm registered to vote in Mobile... Even though I clearly voted for who I wanted to be president in Hoover just last year. They talmbout because I registered online last year it might have been lost... They wanted me to cast a Provisional Ballot. ???

— Saucesuke Uchiha... (@Kylla_Cam) December 12, 2017 

Worth noting as well that there are rumors that provisional ballots won't be counted. We here at Wonkette's fact-checking department rank this claim as "of course that's how it's being explained!" TO WIT: Provisional ballots usually must be counted after an election unless the total amount of provisional ballots is smaller than the margin of victory. Say there's 100 total ballots, and 20 are provisional. If a candidate wins on election night 60-20, there's no point counting the provisional ballots because even if the losing candidate won every one of them it wouldn't change the outcome of the election. If a candidate wins on election night 45-35, provisional ballots would be put through the challenge process and counted. It's called "first past the post." Anyway it's where the idea that provisionals aren't counted or don't matter came from. More provisional discussion later, I'm going to go check for more fuckery!

So anyway I was supposed to be writing a chapter in this book but it's election night and fuck it, I'm going full nerd instead. This means that I am operating far too many screens for a single human at once and also have just informed my children that they can watch twice their usual amount of Spongebob. Here's a Vox fact-checky thingy on voter suppression in Alabama!

Thread. I saw someone this morning at my Homewood polling place finding out he, too, had been put on the inactive list. Of course, he was black. https: //t.co/IcShIjDsRf 

— Kyle Whitmire (@WarOnDumb) December 12, 2017 

I'm beside myself with this foolishness. A lady that walked in with me couldn't vote. Had ID and everything. Lived here longer than I've been alive. https: //t.co/BBm88vbag7 

— Ya Girl Brittany (@xobritdear) December 12, 2017 

I was wondering how long it would be before we found some trans voter suppression! Looks like the voter figured it out in the end, but.

welp i tried to vote but i cant because i changed my legal name and havent updated my ID since i cant fucking get the Female off my drivers license

— TS Teostra (@dro_ghost) December 12, 2017 

Some good old-fashioned provisional racism

PSA: this voter abuse is real! Me and two of my classmates just got turned away to vote after arguing about a provisional ballot.

— Kiara P. (@Ke_possible) December 12, 2017 

This is one of those "grain of salt" things because rumors spread quickly, but it is important to note rumors as well, as they can impact elections! Here is one that warrants are being checked at polls. Contrasted with the police at polling locations, and we perhaps have a problem!

1) No, Laziness isn’t the only reason Jones could lose. There is a mass disenfranchisement effort in Alabama right now: they have closed DMVs in black neighborhoods to lower turnout (so those needing ID to vote cant get it), they are checking for warrants on voters

— Kimberlynn??‍♀️ (@ReuniteOlitz) December 12, 2017 

‼️ Red Alert, Alabama!

Rumors of weirdness going on in B’ham with text messages stating polling place changes. There are no changes. Remember, never leave without voting. Ask for provisional ballot.

AL @ACLU hotline to report voting problems: 334-420-1748

— Mary (@MADitations) December 12, 2017 

Not really voter suppression but hell's bells this is gross:

Another #RoyMooresupporter just called my office posing as an @AP reporter.

Once their cover was blown they started screaming & called me & my staff the n-word & other racial slurs.

I won't be intimidated.

I won't stop speaking out.

You will not shut me down.

Believe it.

— Rep. Gwen Moore (@RepGwenMoore) December 12, 2017 

Do you suppose this is a very bad earnest attempt or a very good troll?

Remember #Alabama , Democrats vote on Wednesday this year! https: //t.co/FVHq6ELRQX 

— Annastoya ?? (@Annastoya) December 12, 2017 

This is not what you like to see, though:

ALERT: We are receiving reports regarding a hostile precinct chief in Ramer, #Alabama(Montgomery Cty.). If you face voter intimidation, please contact our 866-OUR-VOTE Election Protection hotline. #AlabamaSenateRace 

— Kristen Clarke (@KristenClarkeJD) December 12, 2017 

ALERT: We are receiving reports out of Jefferson County, #Alabama regarding text messages falsely telling voters their polling site has changed. Pls make reports to our 866-OUR-VOTE Election Protection hotline. Call us to confirm your polling location and vote!

— Kristen Clarke (@KristenClarkeJD) December 12, 2017 

More "inactive voter" fuckery

My mom and her boyfriend just tried to vote in Alabama, and both of their registrations had been changed to “inactive” despite voting in the most recent election. Had to cast provisional ballots. Keep an eye out, Bama. Doug Jones’ voter trouble # 800-682-2793.

— Matt Miklic (@mattmiklic) December 12, 2017 

This is worth clicking through to read the whole thing, but the upshot is this voter was marked inactive despite having voted recently, and if she hadn't thought to herself in advance "wow this place is really racist I should take ALL THE THINGS so they can't fuck with my vote" she might not have been able to vote:

So I voted but let me tell you a quick story about this here special election:

— Ya Girl Brittany (@xobritdear) December 12, 2017 

Cop just arrived at the polling station I’m at here in Montgomery, Alabama. NAACP official told me that in previous Alabama elections, police have checked voters for outstanding warrants at polling stations, which can deter people from voting pic.twitter.com/3i1pf1uvnE 

— Ken Klippenstein (@kenklippenstein) December 12, 2017 

Voting machine glitch causes temporary problem at Montgomery polling place https: //t.co/jBnQidQac8via @mgmadvertiser 

— Tom (@azcourier) December 12, 2017 

We suspect that this person doesn't quite understand what "suppression" is but it's too funny to not bring you this to ponder:

Like you, I voted against media-led voter suppression and not Roy Moore by checking straight Alabama Republican ticket. I also considered it another vote for my President’s agenda.

— Bellwether (@Bellwether8) December 12, 2017 

But these are legit problems:

Dechauna Jiles says she and roughly six other people (who she saw) were told they were “inactive” voters and had to cast provisional ballots #alsen   pic.twitter.com/a7vFqytEMc 

— Kira Lerner (@kira_lerner) December 12, 2017 

Person in charge at polling place: “Sorry for the long wait, but we don’t have the volunteers necessary for an election of this size... Normally this many people don’t show up for an election.”

— Tom Green (@Tomas_Verde) December 12, 2017 

I am a victim of voter suppression pic.twitter.com/peYUuaqnvf 

— Annalise A. (@iAnnalise) December 12, 2017