256 Comments

The beatings will continue until morale improves!

Expand full comment

You can always taste and see...

Expand full comment

FedEx & UPS are about the same. NO PEEING OR BODILY ANYTHING DURING THE WORKDAY, YOU MEAT PILOT.

Expand full comment

Yes but.... how does one use it without exposing one to oncoming traffic?

Expand full comment

But that would be socialism!!!

Expand full comment

Dave Clark, who is Amazon's Consumer Chief and not in fact the lead singer of a 1960s British pop band

Are you sure about that? Because this seems oddly appropriate:

https://www.youtube.com/wat...

Expand full comment

Amazon already sells this on their site. $29.95, and three stars. Problem solved!

https://uploads.disquscdn.c...

Expand full comment

As someone who drives a route for work, I have to give thanks that, as crazy as my job can be, I have not yet been reduced to peeing in some random container. I just had a nice lunch, and there was a restroom available. I’ve had some long days, and eaten the occasional gas station hotdog, but pit stops are not an issue.

Expand full comment

Dave Clark of The Dave Clark Five kept us from hearing his band's songs for ages. He's a real shit, too.

Expand full comment

Well sheee-it, lookie what I found: And it’s Amazon’s Choice with 2-day FREE Shipping with PRIME!

https://www.amazon.com/Thet...

Expand full comment

Back in 1997, I was looking for a specific book on absinthe that I had seen in a small book store that had closed. A friend of mine told me that I should try this web site called Amazon. "You wouldn't believe all the books they have on their site!" he said. So I did. Sure enough they had the book, and at an affordable price. (And if I recall correctly, they offered free shipping on all their orders back then!) So I bought the book.

Later that year, I received a package in the mail from Amazon - a travel mug. Actually, it's one of the best travel mugs I've ever have. In fact, I still use it! It was a free gift from them, thanking me for being a customer. That was back the they were losing money like crazy. And no wonder, with them mailing out travel mugs to customers that had only bought one item. So I was hooked - I became a regular customer.

The next year, they sent out another free gift to their customers - a refrigerator magnet. And as they expanded their business to CDs, DVDs, and then to everything under the sun, they became less and less a good company to deal with. Then came the stories about what a self-centered shithead Jeff Bezos is. And as they expanded, I started to read the horror stories of how they treated their warehouse workers and their managers. Then they became one of the wealthiest companies in the world as they destroyed competition. And when Bezos became the richest guy in the world, I decided he didn't need my money any more.

I found myself ordering less and less from Amazon, especially because thanks to that same internet that he got rich from (and that our tax dollars paid for), I was able to find what I was looking for at local stores and other web sites. The last time I ordered anything from them was over a year ago, after a friend had given me a gift certificate for my birthday.

So fuck Amazon. And every time I drink from that free mug from 14 years ago, it reminds me that, like the libertarian asshole Bezos, I got mine - fuck him.

Expand full comment

Mason is the preferred solution as well for Jarate, the jar-based karate!

Expand full comment

I've never personally used one, but I would think you unzip, slide it into place, and do your business. I mean, dudes pissing in bottles have to expose themselves to an extent as well; but have you ever SEEN that happen? I don't think most of us really look much into other people's cars.

Expand full comment

Did not know that the past tense of "freak" is "froke." I like it. Storing for future use.

Expand full comment

The "reasons" are that Amazon gives our beloved little mommyblog money. That's worth preserving. I just ignore Amazon, for the most part. Win-win.

Expand full comment

I've been saying this for literally years.

Expand full comment