170 Comments
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Chino Cherokee's avatar

Before my heart procedure last week a male nurse came in and said he had to shave me from '...chin to knees.'

And, yes, he did.

Bobathonic, Dingus Crusher's avatar

Well, he SAID he was a nurse...

freakishlystrong's avatar

Never truer to Scump; "You can't handle the truth!"

Oy!'s avatar

[ ot ]

"He has new friends on Martha’s Vineyard. But his tales of cancellation have not subsided."

If you need some toilet reading . . .

•---•---•---•---•---•---•---•---•---•---•---•---•---•---•---•---•---•---•

"Alan Dershowitz Won’t Forget What Larry David Did to Him"–https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/2026/08/alan-dershowitz-larry-david-vineyard/688293/

“I personify what the woke hates,” Dershowitz said. Before I could ask him what, exactly, “the woke” is, he explained that he is now seen as a “traitor” to the Democratic Party. The enmity is mutual. In September, he has a new book coming out called Why I Quit the Dems: And So Should You! The subtitle is Confessions of a Reluctant Republican."

Menotsure's avatar

It's not hard to see a racial component to all of this.

MRK's avatar

Tag-line for this whole administration.

Anarchy Pony's avatar

Targeting a medical issue that almost solely effects black men? Yeah...

satch's avatar

The Strait of Hormuz is now US territory? Isn't having Iran threatening shipping on US territory worse?

Gammarae's avatar

that must be what trump and george washington were signing on that piece of paper they were scribbling on with quills yesterday.

MRK's avatar

Only if you think about things before putting them on social media.

Elviouslyqueer's avatar

Apologies for the early OT, but today is our first day with the Ten Commandments being mandatorily posted across all classrooms (including colleges) in our fair state. Said posters have images of Moses the Lawgiver on one side and Mike Johnson the Smarmy Asshole on the other flanking the Ten Commandments text in the middle.

Because apparently the systemic poverty, coastline loss, cancer-causing petrochemicals, out-of-control crime rates, and all the other ills befalling Louisiana have been fixed.

Carstonio's avatar

They seriously included Johnson’s photo? Such postings are the equivalent of Confederate monuments, designed to remind certain groups of their place, whether Black people or non-Christians.

MRK's avatar

Now you've got me thinking of ways to engage in malicious compliance of that law.

imissthosesparks TYFYATTM's avatar

Mike Johnson? I think I could tolerate having to look at an image of Moses because I can think of him as a historical figure. But having to stare at Johnson every day and be reminded of how he's helping enable Trump would drive me up the wall.

Oy!'s avatar

11. "Thou Shalt Not Vandalize First Amendment Violations"

satch's avatar

Do you feel holy yet? Well, do ya, Punk?

Mavenmaven's avatar

Tucker Carlson will push for military enforcing shaving pubes and balls as well, how else will the tanning boost their testosterone, making them stronger and more manly, which is what WINS WARS?

Carstonio's avatar

That bonkers image of the nude man standing next to a ball warmer or whatever the hell it was - does Carlson not realize that the image suggests a standing sex toy?

Skye Marthaler's avatar

Should have posted a trigger warning for us old leathernecks. LOL

Also this was great until latrine - should have used head instead. (old habits die hard)

SkeptiKC's avatar

My father died wearing his tag; mom made sure he was buried with it. Once a Marine always a Marine. He would've made the same correction.

satch's avatar

Sounds like Gunney is about to order some Code Reds...

ReSister For Life Callyson's avatar

Thought this was a press release from HAGUEseth for a moment there.

Baconzgood's avatar

OT

Now if ICE can just detain about 800 more skippers and ball players Pittsburgh will be able to win the pennant.

Hahaha I'm just joking. The Pirates will never win the pennant. But it's funny to think we can.

https://www.rawstory.com/ice-arrest-2677720058/

ReSister For Life Callyson's avatar

Our Steelers should look for a QB among the detainees. Whoever we'd find would be better than that geriatric nutcase they stuck with for some unfathomable reason FFS.

Baconzgood's avatar

Yeah. What the fuck was with resigning Aaron Rod....calm down down Baconz

In with the good air, out with the bad. Think of your happy place.

MRK's avatar

Best case, management knew there was no way they were making a good team this year, so they're keeping him around hoping they'll be bad enough to get a QB in the draft.

ReSister For Life Callyson's avatar

Perhaps, but then I'd say let the QB that they drafted a season or two ago play. At worst, they'll suck and get a better draft pick. At best...the new and non-rapey Ben!

MRK's avatar

I forgot they drafted someone recently. So either they're complete idiots, or that kid is bad in a way that would hurt revenue.

ReSister For Life Callyson's avatar

The Rooneys should know better...FFS, people still go to *Pirates* games despite their gawdawful owner. Their revenue--and ticket sales--would be just fine!

Baconzgood's avatar

Pittsburgh's only need for a QB is to say "hut" then hand the ball to the ½ back. The peanut vendor can do that.

MRK's avatar

If you had the O-line and running back and defense to make that work, you wouldn't be complaining about Rodgers.

ReSister For Life Callyson's avatar

Can't speak for Baconz but I would be complaining about that geriatric nutcase regardless.

That said, point sadly and infuriatingly taken about the RB & O-line.

Baconzgood's avatar

Excuse me. Are we at choir practice? Because you are preaching to me.

Next you will tell Baconz that stubbing your toe is uncomfortable.

Warren's avatar
21mEdited

Operation New Deal-B. The B stood for Baseball.

Re the Steelers: Another 10-7 season is coming. The Standard is the Standard. Steelers 5–Ravens 2.

Baconzgood's avatar

10-7 might be a good season for Cleveland but for Pittsburgh that dont cut mustard.

ciaobella's avatar

“But I don’t even have any soap or shaving cream. Or a razor.”

“You will use some of that gravy shit we put on your chow, and a butter knife!”

satch's avatar

Ah, that's boot camp for ya. They break you down, then build you into part of a lean, mean, fightin' machine...

Linoleum von Curmudgeon, Esq.'s avatar

Just think of it!

Imagine yourself a teevee news host who has failed to ever clock in for weekday primetime shift. You're stuck on the weekend rotation and no one seems interested in talking to you about your resume. You're frequently drunk and black out a lot so you have big holes in your memory. Your still a little mystified why your own mom is VERY disappointed by being your mom. You couldn't hack it in the military and your turns at managing small veterans outreach programs ended in disaster. Now no other veteran organization will touch you.

And then....WTF!.....you get a call asking you to be the Secretary of Defense! Of course you accept! Think of all the airtime you will get now. Think of the veterans outreach you can ruin. You can finally tell mom to drop dead. Think of all the people who can do one thing you could never accomplish that you can finally fuck over...the people who can let their facial hair grow.

TerseNurse's avatar

If someone were to offer me SecDef as a job, I would turn it down so fast my response would create a sonic boom... because, while I compliment myself in thinking I'm fairly smart and well-informed, I have no relevant expertise and zero experience running an immense bureaucracy.

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

This is the one time in their lives they'll be awarded *anything* ...

ElderlyLoudCatWomyn's avatar

There were six of us growing up. That gunnery sergeant sounds suspiciously like my mother.

Land Shark 🇺🇦 🏳️‍⚧️'s avatar

Funny ... I got on the elevator this morning and I smelled that. Not sure if it's Brylcream or one of the other ones, but it was definitely one of them. A memory from my childhood 50 years ago ...

Warren's avatar

What about Dippity Do, for those stubborn cowlicks?

Thank heavens the Wethead became Dead.